


Winter Song

by CursedEstlin



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Medically Violated, Mental Health Issues, Non-Con Medical Conception, Original Character(s), Post Season 5.17, Slow Burn Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:55:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 66,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23208850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CursedEstlin/pseuds/CursedEstlin
Summary: Lex is dead but his trail of destruction lives on.Supergirl doesn’t worry about saving the world anymore.After a bitter feud, Lena and Kara haven’t spoken in three years but that’s all about to change.Post season 5 dumpster fire compliant with not a Willy in sight.
Relationships: Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 262
Kudos: 698





	1. We Don’t Know How We Feel

**Author's Note:**

> I wish I could point to self imposed quarantine for this little ditty, but it’s been floating around and distracting me from continuing TWW for a while. And like the Borg always say, “resistance is futile”. Or something. 😉

Foggy puffs of vapor disappeared almost as quickly as they appeared while Kara climbed out of her vehicle and made her way back to the end of the storage container where the door was. 

Normally, she’d just exchange the full container for the empty one from the previous month and be on her way. However, Alex sent word before the scheduled delivery that she needed to check the shipment before transport and move a few fragile items into her well loved SUV. 

What fragile items, she wasn’t sure. She hadn’t requested or ordered any supplies out of the ordinary but maybe it was a birthday present from Alex or Eliza? It was early, but a distinct possibility where those two were concerned. 

Six months ago and out of the blue, Alex made a similar request and Kara found a long haired gray kitten (with green eyes almost the same shade as a couple of people she knew) in a heated pet carrier. She named it Streaky Too and shortened it to Stew and Stew pretty much owned her from that day on.

She was anxious to see what it could be this time as she flipped the latch back and tugged on the solidly built door.

What she found rocked her on her feet. Her eyes widened as she climbed into the container and stood over the special delivery. There was a steady rise and fall of movement underneath a heavy blanket in the otherwise still and silent container as she considered her next move. 

She found she couldn’t be in there and think clearly so she scrambled back out and off the trailer, wincing at the small jump to the frozen ground. For a moment, she seriously considered shutting the door and just driving away and leaving the container right there. 

She leaned against the side of her vehicle so she could keep an eye on everything as she pulled herself together. 

She couldn’t reach Alex until tonight at the earliest thanks to the orbiting satellite. She imagined that even when she did, Alex would be full of tough love and have a few unhelpful suggestions of what she could do with the package. 

Kara clenched her jaw in anger. 

What the hell was Alex thinking? She couldn’t even send the package back until the next exchange occurred _in another thirty days_. 

Movement in the vehicle caught her eye and she found herself smiling goofily in spite of how upset she was. She had no alternative plan or option but to just deal. Another choice taken away from her in exchange for a venomous snake that was more than happy to go for her throat. 

She straddled the tow hitch at the back of her vehicle to open the hatch to the cargo area, surveying the space critically. A spare tire and emergency supplies took up most of the space. Things she could relocate to the trailer, but it was still a cramped area. She barely reigned in her desire to slam the door shut, not wanting to scare her passenger when she deemed the space unfit for unconscious human cargo. 

Fuck.  


* * *

_Five Days Earlier_

“Director Danvers? Lena Luthor is demanding to see you. She’s creating quite a scene with the media she brought with her,” a DEO agent reported dutifully. 

Alex has been dodging and avoiding Lena for close to a year, up to and including a restraining order. The cat and mouse game they’ve been playing has been vastly entertaining for Alex as her entire goal is to waste as much of Lena’s time and money as possible. And if Lena suffered some frustration, mental anguish and learned a little humility along the way? She considered that a bonus.

Kara may have been able to wash her hands of the whole stinking ordeal and walk away from it, but Alex hadn’t. Lena crossed the line. With and without Lex. And Lex? Let’s just say he’s lucky to be dead. 

It’ll be a cold day in hell before Alex cut Lena Luthor any slack. 

“Make sure she observes the court mandated fifty foot rule and have the legal team observe but do not engage without my orders. Take Bravo and Delta for backup,” she instructed. “The only way Lena Luthor enters this facility is in a body bag.”

Lena Luthor was not a patient woman. She needed results and had to be involved in everything she expected results from. 

She stood outside the main entrance to the DEO, once owned by Luthor Corp before the government seized their assets, and managed to look both poised and competent as she was interviewed on live television about the DEO’s shadier and unconstitutional practices and her knowledge thereof. 

She was done playing games with the Danvers family. If they thought she was out for blood before, they had no idea what she was capable of knowing what she does now. 

The interviewer asked if she believed the policies and practices sanctioned by Lex Luthor were still in use and before she could answer, a small team of lawyers flanked by tactical apparel wearing agents approached her and the media outlets around her, likely hoping to intimidate them into silence. 

Ha! Not today, Alex. She ruefully smiled into the camera. The thought of using the power of the press against Alex and therefore Kara, was a particularly nice touch of irony as she called out the current director of operations to answer for herself the questions being asked today. 

What happened next took place in a bubble of cacophony and chaos. Bullets ricocheted and bounced off concrete and steel surfaces all around her. All at once she was covered with what she recognized as a bullet resistant blanket and rushed inside the very doors she was lawfully prohibited from entering along with the media accompanying her. They were separated and triaged with very fortunate non life-threatening injuries. 

It took barely fifteen minutes before she was examined and questioned by a nurse before her name got her escalated to the chief of medicine for the final determination of condition. 

“I’d ask if you were out of your goddamn mind but I already know the answer!” Alex stormed into the exam room after the doctor checked her over once more for wounds and gave the all clear for her to be released. Not even into protective custody considering the attempt on her life not an hour before. 

She would simply be escorted out the doors and shot on sight if that was someone’s plan and the DEO.. no. Scratch that. _Alex_ couldn’t care less. It was a sobering thought, honestly. 

Lena hadn’t planned on being attacked today by The Republic of Cadmus as the new organization liked to be called, but it had certainly accelerated her agenda to get a face-to-face meeting with Alex. 

“I demand to see her,” she responded, teeth clenched to keep from snarling. 

“Fuck you and your demands.”

“Where is she?” Lena questioned, knowing she’d never get a straight answer but needing to try anyway. 

“Somewhere you and your family will never find her,” Alex answered confidently, turning to exit and leave Lena behind with once again, no answers. “She was never your property. Remember? Even the courts you tried to buy off determined that.”

Lena quickly produces a thumb drive and held it out for Alex to take. “You need to see this. It doesn’t fix anything. But it does change things. I’m begging you, Alex. Just look at it.”

There was something in Lena’s tone that gave Alex reason to pause. Lena never exposed weakness. She always believed she was in the right, even when her actions were despicable and on par with Lex’s twisted and deluded desires.

Alex took the drive and motioned for a couple of agents to escort Lena to a holding cell. Temporarily, unfortunately. But long enough for her to see what was on the drive. 

A couple of hours later Alex approached the cell with J’onn. Lena had expected nothing less. Alex had every right to treat her like a criminal and no reason to believe what was contained in the files was true. Having J’onn try to verify what she knew now was simply the next logical step. 

“You know why he’s here?” Alex questioned, arms folded authoritatively over her chest. 

“Yes.”

The DEO Director looked skeptical, but strangely respectful, too. “J’onn would never force his way into your mind without your permission,” she began. 

“You have it,” Lena stood from up from the bunk she was stretched out on while she waited and approached the cell door, eager for J’onn to explore her mind.

Alex shook her head, still unconvinced this wasn’t a giant Luthor ruse. “If any of this is true? If you’re suggesting both you and Kara were violated like that? Someone you used to call your best friend? That makes what you did so much worse,” she spat out at Lena. 

“I didn’t know. Lex made sure of that,” Lena answered in earnest. 

J’onn opened the cell door and stepped inside with her, getting one more nod of consent before reaching into Lena’s mind. 

She closed her eyes and relaxed, making it as easy as possible for J’onn to locate and access what he was looking for. It felt strange and intrusive at first, but she quickly calmed, secure in the knowledge that he wasn’t trying to harm her. 

It only took a few moments before J’onn was pulling away. 

“She’s telling the truth. The records, files, plans. All of it. It’s true,” he reported to Alex. 

Lena took a moment to steady herself before trying to offer up some justification for her actions. “I teamed with Lex and Lillian because I believed Lex had rights and I was tired of seeing us lose to a Super. Tired of the Luthor name dragged through the mud. I was still so angry at Kara it made me blind to what he’d done.”

“Getting her away from you and your family was the best thing we ever did,” Alex told her matter of factly. No explanation Lena gave her was going to change the past for her. No reason she gave could make things right for Kara.

“I agree. Now,” Lena admitted. 

“Then why are you wasting my time?”

“Since finding out, I’ve had eight months to wonder and worry and _hope_. I want to see for myself that she’s okay. I need to see her, Alex. Surely you can understand that.” Lena’s plea comes to a screeching halt. Fat, genuine tears of regret dropped from thick lashes. 

Shit. Alex believes her. After every hell the Luthors put her family through, she believes the woman in front of her might just be another casualty of Lex Luthor. 

But that doesn’t mean Kara will believe her. Or forgive her. 

“I just want to see her. Five minutes. That’s all I’m asking for. Please, Alex.”

Alex weighed her options carefully. So much of her wanted to kick Lena out the door and she wants to believe she wouldn’t feel a bit guilty about it. But. There was a niggling spark of conscience that told her cruelty was not the path to take with Lena. Not this time. 

“No promises. I’ll be in touch.”

Without another word she left Lena behind, quietly arranging to have some of her best agents stealthily guard her. She couldn’t facilitate a meeting if The Republic of Cadmus got to her first.

Four long and nerve wracking days later Lena received a text from an unknown number.

_Pier G41. 8pm tomorrow. Pack for a week. Cold weather gear. No tech. No weapons. 174147 No food or drink after noon._

It was good she had photographic memory as the message disappeared from her phone less than a minute later. 

Without hesitation she began packing, idly wondering if she even possessed enough casual wear to last a week.

A few apps and deliveries later and she had enough suitable clothes to fill a large duffel bag. And if there was another bag filled with non clothes items? That was her business. 

The more she packed, the more curious and concerned she became. _She better not be freezing her ass off somewhere,_ she thought darkly. She may not exhibit any sort of natural or nurturing instincts like Kara always had, but she was protective of a select few and she thought that one day that might be close enough to resemble something motherly. More motherly than Lillian had ever been to her at least.

Less than twenty-four hours later, after she’d punched in the code texted to her and entered Unit G41 and agreed to being placed under a general anesthetic so she had no possible way of knowing where her destination was, Alex’s face floated in front of hers just before she lost consciousness. 

“Hurt her and I’ll kill you.”  


* * *

Kara moved quickly to prevent the interior of the car from getting too cold. Her hurried movements match her hurried thoughts. How in the hell was she going to keep the most inquisitive, friendly and lovable being on the planet from interacting and possibly (undoubtedly) getting attached to .. whatever the unconscious mass in her arms was these days?

While making the transfer from the container to the car, she’d spotted an envelope pinned to the blanket with Alex’s recognizable handwriting on it. She didn’t know if she should read it now or later but it didn’t really matter as tiny and completely familiar eyebrows arched over vibrant green eyes as she kept a still familiar face turned towards the door and not towards the very curious eyes watching her. 

A tiny hand with long fingers pointed over. “Who’s that?”

Lena chose that exact moment to slightly stir and roll her head in the direction of Charlie Danvers but thankfully she did not wake up. 

How was she going to both explain who this woman was to Charlie and expect to keep them from interacting?

She wasn’t. 

She’d known it was futile the second she’d laid eyes on her again. Their lives were on a thirty day collision course now. 

Instead of an answer, she gave Charlie another smile before leaning over Lena and making the toddler squeal and laugh in delight as she showered her little face with loud kisses. 

Behind the wheel, she took a moment to tear the envelope open and read Alex’s scribbled sentences. 

_Things have changed. Keep your guard up, but your ears open. Give Charlie a kiss for me and remember I love you both and I’m always looking out for you._

Kara scoffed and tossed the letter into the empty seat beside her. “Ready to go home, babygirl?” 

There was an excited response from the back seat that normally would have filled her with joy. Today, however, she just felt dread.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ETA My profound gratitude to BiFelicia for not only the suggestions to this chapter and the story arc in general, but also just by being an amazing human being all the way around and someone I’m proud to call a friend. 💜💜💜


	2. Such Esteem For Each Has Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What, no locking me in the bedroom to keep me from escaping?” Lena sneered, fully expecting that to be the case. 
> 
> Kara stops in her tracks momentarily, leveling Lena with just one look. 
> 
> “I don’t want you here. I’ll lock the doors when you leave.”

Since there were no roads to follow, Kara instead kept an eye on the GPS screen modified to home in on one land based signal, occasionally correcting course to maintain the right heading. The terrain was incredibly flat and non descript for miles and it gave Kara time to think and observe her daughter watching over Lena. 

She wanted to discourage her when she saw Charlie curiously touching Lena’s hair as Lena’s inert body shifted closer to her car seat during the drive. She was petting her much the same way she interacted with Stew - inquisitively and carefully. They were still practicing being soft after an incident of carrying Stew around by her tail. 

Lena emitted a noise somewhere near the back of her throat that had a startled Charlie rapidly pulling her hand back. 

“Don’t wake her up, sweetheart. Let her sleep, okay?” Kara warned over her shoulder.

“She's tired?” Charlie wondered. 

“Very tired,” Kara confirmed though she knew the difference between sleeping and drugged and Lena was obviously the latter. She just hoped whatever it was lasted long enough to make the entire trip because she’s not sure how long she could manage to be civil in such a tiny space. She wasn’t sure how she was going to manage it once they got home, either, but that was a problem for later. 

She focused back on Charlie, interacting with her about what animals she thought she might like to see roaming around the woods outside their home. When that was exhausted they moved on to listening to and singing Baby Shark and about twelve different versions of it before Kara had to tap out to keep her sanity, moving on to some Disney classics.

They made a brief rest stop midway through the three hour drive and Kara made sure to run and chase Charlie around in the slightly warmer, but still chilly climate after a picnic in the car with peanut butter and jam sandwiches. She didn’t want Charlie to get overly tired or under exerted either. Both caused meltdowns in her experience, but she needn’t have worried. All of Charlie’s attention was captivated by Lena more than anything else. 

Kara remembered the days she felt the same. The days when she fondly wondered what her brilliant CEO best friend was up to as they exchanged random texts about flowers or dogs or whatever vine was trending. 

When it all fell apart, there were the months of fearing what Lena was plotting and a year after that spent trying to stay a step ahead of whatever accusation the Luthor legal squad was hurling at her before she gave up all hope that the laws of man would protect her and her daughter. They disappeared after a particularly nasty attempt on her life that mostly failed but nearly took Charlie’s life instead. It was still fair to say that Kara spent a lot of time with Lena being the primary thing on her mind. 

Lunch and break over, they got back on the “road” and Kara pondered why Alex allowed Lena to suddenly arrive in the one location that was their safe haven. Even with Alura’s assistance, they struggled to find this place and fought to keep it confidential with even the people that delivered supplies not knowing where they were.

Something major must have happened. More significant than Lex’s death nearly a year ago. That’s the only conclusion she could make without the woman in the seat behind her actually giving up some answers. And even then, Kara couldn’t/wouldn’t trust anything Lena said. 

Eventually the landscape turned into something more familiar. The temperature began to rise and the trees, mountains and lakes that were dotting the horizon slowly surrounded them. Kara felt a sense of calm at the familiarity of it all, almost feeling optimistic on familiar ground. 

“Almost home, kiddo,” she cheerfully told Charlie when they were about ten minutes away. 

There was cheering and tiny fists raised in celebration and some excited chatter about needing to feed Stew when they got home. Kara laughed at how often Charlie found an excuse to feed Stew or give her treats. She had to watch how much food she left out that Charlie could get to for fear of turning their beloved kitty into a chonk. 

She backed into the garage and exited the vehicle to stretch her back out a little before she opened the car door next to Lena, dragging her across the seat and throwing her unceremoniously over her shoulder. Gone were the days of gentle and dare she admit it, intimate bridal carries. 

“Be right back, Charlie,” she told her, confident the carseat would keep her rambunctious offspring from trailing after her. Charlie would undoubtedly want to stay with Lena and she wasn’t quite ready to have that battle with her yet. 

She grabbed a couple zip ties from a bin on a shelf on the way in and headed towards the guest bedroom Eliza or Alura used when visiting. She dropped Lena on the bed, pulling her closer to the edge to zip tie her wrist to the frame. It wasn’t that she was concerned Lena would try to escape - there was nowhere for her to escape to - she just didn’t want her running amuck without knowing it. She would free her once she and Charlie were finished unloading everything. 

Kara needn’t have worried. Whatever Lena was given with the added labor from the altitude kept her out well past the time it took for her and Charlie to put away their supplies, play and read together and then make and eat dinner (with a plate made up for Lena at Charlie’s insistence, of course). 

She was kneeling by the bathtub rinsing shampoo out of Charlie’s hair before bedtime when Lena finally appeared, stumbling towards the toilet and flipping the lid up and taking in the wide eyed child watching her in fascination. Not her best first impression. She managed to utter Charlie’s full name before succumbing to the need to dry heave. 

Kara quickly made sure Charlie was completely rinsed off before grabbing a towel, wrapping it around her tiny body and plucking her out of the tub. She held Charlie protectively as she edged behind Lena and out the door. 

Kara was reading to Charlie on the couch when Lena wandered into the living room. She looked oddly put together with her hair perfectly brushed and a light application of makeup - a stark contrast to the harried mess she was just a short while ago. It struck Kara as odd and irritating. Why make the effort? Lena apparently always needed to look like she was in control and perfect. 

Lena looked nervous. That was the only way Kara could define the way she played with her fingers as she approached, yet made sure to stay a respectful distance away. She looked like she wanted to say something, but didn’t want to interrupt. And then Charlie noticed her, her entire little body vibrating with excitement over this new person in her home. 

Before Kara could get a good hold of her, she’d squirmed off her lap and bolted towards Lena’s frozen form. Lena watched in amazement as Charlie grabbed her hand and began leading her towards the kitchen. Her gaze never left Charlie’s small form and her expression showed nothing sinister. Quite the opposite. She was one hundred percent entranced by her daughter. 

“There’s dinner!” Charlie told her with excitement most fit for a child of Kara’s. Kara stood from the overstuffed couch, body tense and ready to intervene at the first sign of anything that could be taken as a threat from Lena, but it never came. 

Charlie led her first to the oven where, sure enough, a covered plate awaited her, then around the kitchen to the cupboard and refrigerator to select her drink and then to the table where Charlie was happy to continue telling Lena what to do. 

“Sit down,” she told Lena. “Be careful. Hot,” she warned, drawing a very genuine, and if Kara didn’t currently hate Lena, she might even say a lovely smile. But she did. So it wasn’t. At all.

“Thank you, Charlotte.” 

Lena missed Kara’s eyeroll by using Charlie’s full name once again, too busy being surprised at what she found when she pulled the cover off the plate. It was well balanced delicious smelling cuisine and not at all in line with what she previously knew of both Kara’s kitchen skills and palate. She was kind of expecting soggy tater tots and over cooked chicken nuggets, if she’s being honest.

Beyond being utterly and hopelessly enamoured with the little girl casually leaning against the side of her leg, Lena notices her fatigue. ‘Tired’ doesn’t begin to cover it. She’s so beyond bone tired that she feels as if she’s carrying an extra fifty pounds around. Too many years of hating and being exposed to hate has taken its toll. Too many long nights spent with scotch instead of a friend or lover. Too many hours pursuing someone else’s goals and never her own. Too many months of bitter disappointment, more betrayal and then more heartbreak. Too much self awareness to know she became the monster she always feared she would be. It all added up and she was finally standing still long enough to pay the bill. 

But the thought of closing her eyes and missing just one second of this little girl's light shining and directed at her makes her feel more physically ill than the anesthetic lingering in her system feeling like a greasy sludge on its way out. 

Charlie goes on to talk her ear off while she forces herself to eat. It's mostly gibberish and she doesn’t understand everything that’s said, but she nods enthusiastically, makes exaggerated faces she had no idea she was capable of and pretends to think when there’s a pause where she’s obviously meant to respond. She’s vaguely aware of Kara’s ever watchful presence, but everything has fallen away except Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. 

It finally becomes a toss up who is yawning more between Lena and Charlie and Kara steps forward and swoops her off her feet. “Time for bed,” she tells her calmly, trying not to get her revved back up. She knows Charlie is exhausted when she rubs her eyes and cries but doggedly denies its bedtime. 

“I don’t know her name,” Charlie sobs at the crime of the century. 

“I’m Lena, and we can talk tomorrow,” she promises, glancing briefly at Kara who hasn’t so much as looked at her. “Goodnight, Charlotte,” she smiles and glances at Kara again and catches the flash of annoyance cross her features. 

Satisfied that her new friend wasn’t going anywhere, Charlie snuggles into Kara, her eyes and little nose pressed tightly against her mama’s neck as Kara carries her to bed. 

Lena manages to finish her dinner in the time that Kara’s gone and is washing up her dishes when Kara returns. She mostly ignores Lena’s existence, going about her nightly routine. It’s not until she finishes half filling a sippycup with water that she acknowledges Lena with uncontained disdain. 

“Her name is Charlie. If you plan to speak to her again, take the stuffy stick out of your ass.” 

Lena goes to defend herself. To say that this entire time she’s never known Charlotte would go by something else. Never been privy to that nugget of inside knowledge. Something that blossoms in her chest and is the best thing she’s ever heard. 

Kara stops whatever response she was going to make by jerking her thumb in the direction of the closed door in the kitchen. “The rest of your stuff is in the garage. Don’t let the cat out,” she warns, grabbing Charlie’s sippycup and heading out of the room. 

Hurt and anger replaces the warm spot in Lena’s heart. “What, no locking me in the bedroom to keep me from escaping?” she sneered, fully expecting that to be the case. 

Kara stops in her tracks momentarily, leveling Lena with just one look. 

“I don’t want you here. I’ll lock the doors when you leave,” she answered honestly, if not futilely as she walked past her and continued to her own room where Charlie was lightly snoring on her bed. She’d already decided that Charlie would be sleeping with her for the duration of Lena’s stay, still and justifiably untrusting of her motives and presence.

There wasn’t anywhere else for Lena to go. Not that that should be _her_ problem, but here they were anyway. 

It was still jarring hearing Kara be anything less than optimistic and hopeful. It sparked a physical ache in Lena’s chest to be the object of hate from someone she once thought of as naively pure. Worse knowing she was a big reason for the darkness. 

With a heart heavier than normal she located and transported her bags back to the room she was apparently to use, swearing that either her bags had tripled in weight, or she was even more exhausted than she feared. 

She’s surprised by the presence of a gray cat curled up near the pillow on her bed, not even budging when she dropped her smaller bag beside it. Stew cracked one eye open, lazily appraised her and went back to sleep - basically as impressed with her being there as Kara. 

Lena would normally take such things to heart, internally at least. Outwardly she’d never hint that she craved approval and affection as only one completely starved of it the majority of her life could. But not today. She’d met Charlotte - **Charlie!** \- she reminded herself. She even interacted with her and would be riding that high for a while. 

Later, she moves Stew to the end of the bed and receives a disgruntled growl. She’s covered in a warmth and scent that reminds her of napping on Kara’s couch long ago and with Kara and Charlie just feet away, she feels a sense of peace and comfort that she’s longed for for too long and never thought she’d ever find again. She closes her eyes and falls into a sleep deeper than anything she’s managed in years. 

Down the hall, Kara lies awake with Charlie’s warm little body taking up most of the bed, a foot pressing below her ribs and a tiny hand fisted in her hair. There’s some residual stiffness and soreness in her back and down her legs. It’s normal after a long day in the car, but with the added stress of Lena dropping into her new world, the pain was a little more intense. She thought she would feel uneasy with her greatest nemesis under the same roof, sharing her living space. She thought she’d be anxious or angry about it. 

Instead, she just feels ..satisfied knowing where Lena is. She’s not sure if it’s because she spent too long not knowing what to expect or where it was coming from next or because.. just because. 

They missed their regular nightly video call with Alex. Whether it was atmospheric or Alex straight up avoiding the verbal beatdown Kara planned, she didn’t know. 

All she knew was the next few days were going to be an adjustment, and not just the physical ones to Lena’s body as she got used to the gravity and altitude difference. 

She falls asleep to a memory she hasn’t felt like recalling in a while. After an extra long game night at Alex’s, she and Lena passed out on the couch. Too much wine for Lena and too long of a week Supering for Kara. She awoke in the early morning hours under the same quilt as Lena. Too tired to fly home and too comfortable to consider the legs covering her lap, she shifted them off her and tossed the couch cushion and a couple throw pillows that were behind Lena to the floor before stretching out behind her friend, wrapping an arm around her to keep her from rolling off.

Lena stirred slightly and rolled a little, bringing their legs closer with no other choice but to tangle them together to remain comfortable. She sighed sleepily at the warm hand pressed against the bare skin of her tummy where her shirt had ridden up. Kara had never forgotten how soft and inviting Lena had felt in her arms, even when she forbade herself to think about her ex best friend as anything else but hostile. 

An adjustment indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is taking precautions and staying safe and getting lots of snuggles in with their loved ones whether they have two or four legs! 
> 
> If there’s anything I can do or if anyone just needs an ear to hear them, please reach out.
> 
> I’m @ CursedEstlin on tumblr and Twitter  
> Be well, friends


	3. Is Love Alive?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I didn’t ask to stay here. You could have dropped me off at a hotel, but you chose to bring me back here,” she points out. 
> 
> “Not a lot of Motel 6’s around these parts, sweetheart,” Kara claps back. 
> 
> “Fine. May I borrow your phone?”
> 
> Kara shrugs. “Don’t have one.”
> 
> “Of course you don’t,” Lena lowered her head and pinched the bridge of her nose to cut off the tide of anger growing inside at Kara’s pettiness. “Just point which direction the nearest place is and I’ll go now.”

For as quickly as Lena fell into a deep sleep, she was annoyed how often she woke up, gasping for air or trying to relieve the stiffness in her neck and a growing headache by repositioning the pillow. 

It didn’t feel like she was sleeping off anesthetic. It felt like she was trying to breathe underwater. 

She was vaguely aware of someone.. Kara shaking her shoulder to try to rouse her. She responds by growling, she thinks. Something gets clipped on the end of her fingertip and she reflexively tries to shake it off. There’s a firm grip on her hand and Kara’s voice cuts through her murky consciousness. 

“Relax. It’s a pulse oximeter.”

“Why?”

“Because you’ve been out for thirty hours and Alex suggested I check to see if you were dead.” The slight pressure comes off her fingertip accompanied with a huffy breath of.. concern? “You’re not. Just FYI.”

That’s a relief she supposed, all at once feeling nauseous again hearing she’s been asleep for what feels like minutes when in reality it’s been more than a full day. 

“What’s wrong with me? Did you poison me?”

“No. I leave the attempts to take life to you and your brother.”

It’s quiet for a bit after that and she thinks she must have fallen back to sleep when Kara rolls her from her side to her back before lifting her head to slip something over it. A few moments later she feels the sweet relief of oxygen being fed to her via soft cannula tubing resting just inside her nostrils. 

“Drink some water,” Kara pushes a bottle into her hand and helps her sit up enough so she doesn’t choke. “Your body’s trying to adjust to the atmosphere. That’s why you feel like this.”

“Where the hell are we? Mt Everest?” Lena rasps after drinking a few ounces.

“Not quite.” Lena can hear the smirk in Kara’s voice. It’s nice. She’s missed it. 

There’s a slight impact on the bed and the feeling of something small making its way across her guts before finally stopping between her legs to curl up. She cracks an eye and sees it’s the same grey kitty she saw before.

“Stew, you traitor,” Kara grumbles. She adjusts some settings on the oxygen concentrator beside the bed before gathering up the packing for the tubing that goes with it, preparing to leave. 

Lena finds that she doesn’t want Kara to leave just yet and wraps her hand around her wrist. “Stay for a few more minutes? Just till I fall asleep.”

Kara bristles immediately at the contact. Lena was lucky she’d even bothered to check on her, honestly. She had no idea what Charlie might be getting into without her. 

But. 

Something is awakening in her that can’t help wanting to make sure Lena was okay. That she’s comfortable in spite of surely feeling oxygen deprived and sick. Kara doesn’t answer, but doesn’t leave, either. Lena’s grip loosens in increments as she falls into an easy and unlabored sleep this time and Kara stays a few minutes beyond that for no clear reason except to study a once familiar face. It’s been so long since she’s been free to do so. 

She’s still beautiful. That’s the only word she can think of and she hates how inappropriate it feels to have that feeling. She’s always been the most beautiful woman Kara’s ever seen, but there’s a hardness around her mouth and in the fine lines around her eyes where once there was softness that simultaneously angers her and makes her sad. 

She doesn’t get more time to observe and leaves when she hears Charlie playing with her quarter-scale guitar, twanging one caterwauling note at a time.

* * *

Lena can’t believe the difference in how much better she feels when she next wakes up. Her headache is gone, the aches and pains have noticeably lessened and she feels hunger - actual hunger for the first time in.. she can’t remember the last time she ate for pleasure and not necessity. 

It smells like Kara’s cooking and she can’t wait to dig in, but she catches a whiff of herself and thinks a little soap and water might be the best first course of action. 

From the kitchen, Kara hears the shower turn on in the guest bathroom and finds herself lowering the heat under the homemade spaghetti sauce (no mushrooms per Charlie’s orders) and holds off sticking the garlic bread in the oven that she’s just helped Charlie sprinkle some oregano and Parmesan over. She’s swapped out starchy pasta for spaghetti squash, remembering complex carbohydrates are better for energy when adjusting to altitude. 

They’re not really at a higher altitude, but a slight increase of the gravitational speed they were used to makes it seem like they are. It was an adjustment even for her, especially being further away from the sun and her cells not absorbing it as quickly. It doesn’t seem to affect Charlie much except she’s noticeably more energetic when they visit Alex and Eliza for checkups and to conduct business. 

Charlie entertains her with her newest source of fascination, sock puppets. Sockless and sitting on the counter, Kara is treated to a mashup of sorts between Let It Go, the Belly Button song and some improvised lyrics thrown in for good measure. 

Kara throws the garlic bread in the oven when she hears the shower shut off and hands Charlie a wooden spoon for her sock puppet to sing into. 

She’s not sure why she feels nervous and why everything needs to be perfect for dinner. It’s Lena. And she has no reason to care what sort of impression she gives her anymore. She straightens the napkin beside her place setting purely for aesthetic reasons before hurrying back over to Charlie, throwing a protective hand out when her wiggly girl gets closer to the edge of the counter than she’s comfortable with. She’s more likely to split the concrete pad under the flooring before she splits her head open, but there’s no reason to test that theory. 

“Put your socks back on and wash your hands for dinner,” Kara instructs instead of asking. If she asked, she would be more likely to be ignored or just receive a flat out “no” in response. 

“Stinky feet?” Charlie suggests with delight. She loves this game and playing it with her mama. 

Kara does not disappoint. She lifts a tiny foot closer to her face before quickly recoiling. “Phew! Stinky!” She tries the other foot quickly thrust in her direction and gives much the same response giggling as much as her daughter as they play and Kara manages to sneakily get both socks back on.

Lena watches from the doorway, enchanted by the scene before her. She remembers her mom, her _real_ mother, running and playing with her. But not Lillian. Never Lillian. She never allowed or participated in something so undignified or joyous. 

Lena manages to observe for another minute or two before she’s discovered. There’s a burst of warmth in her chest at Charlie’s excited gasp as she tries to launch herself off the counter. Only Kara’s lightning fast reflexes manage to catch and lower her to the ground before a barreling blur with dark and messy waves tackles her legs and nearly knocks her off her feet. 

“Soft, Charlie! Soft,” Kara reminds her. 

“Sorry,” the miniature clone of Kara and a Luthor parrots dutifully up at her. 

“That’s okay, Charlie. I’m very happy to see you, too,” Lena tells her, dropping to one knee to accept a hug. Little arms wrap around her neck and Lena relishes in the feeling it gives her, squeezing her eyes shut and missing Kara watching with more curiosity than concern. 

It doesn’t escape her attention that Lena has dropped calling her by her full name. Lena never struck her as kid friendly, honestly. She was great with Ruby, but Ruby was hardly a toddler. She’s never witnessed her with anyone as young as Charlie yet she seems to be a natural. To be fair though, her daughter _is_ the most lovable kid on the planet. 

Kara almost comments that Lena’s cheeks have some color in them but instead busies herself by pulling the bread from the oven and preparing hers and Charlie’s plates. 

There’s little conversation over dinner. Mostly the adults just respond to Charlie’s whims and silly faces. It’s not until they’re nearly finished that Kara addresses the elephant in the room.

“Alex won’t tell me why she allowed you to come here. Says it’s for you to tell me. Why are you here?” There’s not exactly malice in her tone, likely because Charlie is sitting between them while they sit opposite each other, but there’s certainly a firmness that isn’t present in Kara’s normal day to day conversation. 

Lena considers her next words carefully. “I appreciate that Alex is allowing me to tell you in my own time but that time is not right now,” she glances at Charlie to convey that she’s taking her little ears into consideration for the heavy topic between them. 

“Thank you for giving me a place to stay and for taking care of me. I’ll find a place to stay nearby in the morning, but I would very much like the chance to talk to you before I go,” Lena sounds genuine in her request. 

Kara merely shakes her head. “Right. Before you go,” she scoffs. Lena’s not the only one with some explaining to do. 

Her comment sparks curiosity in Lena and a touch of ire, as well. “I didn’t ask to stay here. You could have dropped me off at a hotel, but you chose to bring me back here,” she points out. 

“Not a lot of Motel 6’s around these parts, sweetheart,” Kara claps back. 

“Fine. May I borrow your phone?”

Kara shrugs. “Don’t have one.”

“Of course you don’t,” Lena lowered her head and pinched the bridge of her nose to cut off the tide of anger growing inside at Kara’s pettiness. “Just point which direction the nearest place is and I’ll go now,” Lena stands, grabbing her empty plate and rinsing it off. 

Kara looks more smug than usual as she looks around to orient herself before pointing to her right. “It’s that-a-way a fair bit.”

Lena folds her arms over her chest. Sure, it’s almost dark and she has no idea where she is or where she’s going. But, if she just takes her small overnight bag she can probably jog or catch a ride and come back tomorrow after she’s hired a car to collect her things and have a talk with Kara and hopefully handoff her third bag to Charlie. 

A few minutes later, Lena has her overnight bag slung across her body and is approaching Charlie to say goodbye. 

There’s tears. 

It’s unclear who is more upset that Lena is leaving, either Lena or Charlie. Kara doesn’t stop her daughter from desperately reaching out for a Lena hug and even Kara feels her heartstrings tug at the absolutely shattered expression on Lena’s face as she wraps her arms around Charlie and Kara _knows_ her exodus is doomed to immediately fail. 

Lena promises to see her tomorrow and then she’s leaving through the kitchen door leading to the garage and then outside. 

“It’s okay,” Kara comforts Charlie, “she’ll be right back. Don’t cry, baby.” She uses her napkin to clean Charlie’s face of squash, sauce and tears, finishing just as Lena comes back in the same door she exited, her eyes wide and jaw slack as she falls back against it. 

“There are two moons out there,” she reports, astonished, as if this is news to Kara. 

“Actually there’s three. It’s just not up yet,” she tells her calmly, unable to hide the smile on her face at both Lena and at Charlie being very excited to see her again just as she’d promised. She stands and makes her way to a cabinet, pulling out a bottle of wine and two glasses. 

“Now is a good time for you to tell me _where the hell we are_.” The look of wonderment hasn’t left her face. It wasn’t likely to go anywhere either since she wasn’t in the habit of traveling off Planet Earth much.

“Take a seat,” Kara tells her, setting a full glass of wine down on the table in the same spot Lena so recently abandoned. “We’ve got a lot to talk about.”


	4. They Say We're Buried Far, Just Like A Distant Star

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the newly added tags. They’re there for a reason, friends.
> 
> We’re picking up right where the last chapter left off.

“You first. Where are we?” Lena pushes her wineglass aside instead of taking a drink. 

Kara takes note of the action but quickly moves on and slides her empty plate all the way to the edge of the table. “Let’s say this plate is the sun.” She dropped a quarter size splotch of spaghetti sauce in the middle of the table. “Here’s Earth, ninety-three million miles away.” Kara dabbed a tiny spot of sauce on the end of her finger and placed it at the opposite end of the table slightly to the right of the sun and earth. “Here’s us. Kind of between Neptune and Saturn, but not Uranus. This planet is maybe a sixth the size of the earth and the reason it feels like we’re at high altitude is because our gravitational speed is closer to 11.03 than earth’s average speed of nine-“

“Point eight zero six six five,” Lena finishes the calculation for her. “If this planet has the approximate radius of one sixth of the earth, then …” Her hands begin moving dramatically the more excited she becomes. 

Lena proceeds to figure out the calculation in her head while explaining each step aloud to determine that her weight on this planet is approximately (her words, not Kara’s) “forty-six point four pounds heavier than it is on earth. Give or take a few ounces since I don’t have an exact radius,” she finishes enthusiastically. 

Kara knows Lena is a genius. Has seen it in action many times before. It never, ever, gets any less impressive. Thankfully she has to stop Charlie from reaching for the splotch of sauce on the table before she just stares openly at Lena.

“That’s not finger paint, _kir chahv_.” Kara’s eyes glance at Lena, suddenly uncomfortable that she’s slipped up and used her native tongue in front of Public Enemy Number One as far as Kryptonians are concerned.

All she sees is interest on Lena’s face, as if she’s working on a translation herself. And she was, having dug deep into the Kryptonian database downloaded from the Fortress of Solitude to learn (while lying to herself that it wasn’t a desperate attempt to stay connected to Kara) as much as she could. 

“Little one,” she utters quietly, more to herself as a smile grows when she looks at Charlie. 

“How do you know that?” Kara looks torn between wanting to punch Lena in the throat and ready to grab Charlie and make a run for it. 

“I have access to yours and your cousin's database,” Lena answers honestly. She answers Kara’s next question before she has a chance to ask it. “Lex.”

Kara flinches slightly at the mention of that name before any residual fear she has gets stuffed deep down and only anger remains at the surface. “Of course. Why would anything about me or Kal or Charlie be private or safe from you.”

Hearing the venom in Kara’s voice convinces Lena that now wasn’t the right time to tell her why she’s there. Instead she tries to divert the focus back on their location. 

“So, this planet,” she begins, “it’s still in the solar system, but certainly not a reasonable travel time with our existing space vessels. How did I get here? By Legion or Legend ship? Or another means? And when can I go home?”

“In a month,” is the only answer Kara is willing to give. 

Lena blinks in surprise. “Excuse me?”

“You can leave. In a month. And you may not know how you got here,” Kara clarifies. 

“I can’t be gone a month! No one knows where I am. What’s left of L Corp’s board members and investors will jump ship like rats if they think I’ve abandoned the company!” Not to mention the other thing. 

“I didn’t invite you. You crashed my planet,” Kara points out. 

“Obviously Alex never bothered to mention the minutia! She just told me to pack enough cold weather gear for a week!”

_Alex, you glorious asshole._

Kara tries very hard not to give away how very amused she is. Sure, it’s petty and rude. But pretty harmless considering the shit they’ve gone through thanks to the Luthor family. 

Lena catches on quickly - far too quickly and raises her chin in defiance, willing herself not to actually cry and give Kara that satisfaction over Alex’s childish prank. She realizes now she hasn’t been cold once since she’s been at Kara’s. She hopes she’s not so emotional that her next statement pushes her off her own cliff. 

“I can’t be here for more than a week. I only brought ten days worth of medication.” Okay, we’re mentioning the other thing. 

Kara pretends to be disinterested, but Lena knows she has her attention. Can practically see the gears turning in her head. 

“Uncontrolled withdrawal symptoms can include seizures, tremors, hallucinations and a psychotic break,” she stated as calmly as her pounding heart would allow. “I’m already at risk from missing yesterday’s dose and taking it late today. I can’t just stop taking them and to wean myself off takes weeks of lower dosages. I have to stay on them, Kara. For me. For Charlie and for you.”

Kara's expression thaws incrementally. “We’ll talk to Alex later tonight. We’ll figure out how to extract you, or how to get you more meds,” she promises, all earlier traces of mirth erased. Lena doesn’t miss the way Kara reflexively reaches halfway across the table to comfort her before remembering that’s not who they are to each other anymore. It doesn’t so much ache as it sets her heart on fire before getting stomped out. 

“You said you don’t have a phone?” Lena points out. “How do we talk to Alex?” There’s a well manicured brow raised at Kara’s hesitancy to answer that she’s still not totally immune to. 

“It’s not a phone call. We route projections through Argo. There’s also a data packet that gets sent every time the satellite in orbit around this planet comes in range and we get a high speed download and upload for recorded messages. My moms.. Eliza and Alura, and also Alex record projects for Charlie to try a few times a week. I get debriefings and personal messages, and Charlie and I record messages of our own and upload them.”

Lena’s curiosity is more than piqued. “How does this planet have a satellite in orbit?”

Kara takes another moment before throwing caution to the wind. “It was actually pretty easy. A satellite was delivered and Kal and I took it into orbit.”

“Where did you get a satellite?” Lena wondered aloud. 

Kara opens her mouth and then shuts it. 

Lena makes a scoffing noise. “Let me guess. It’s Luthor Corp’s.”

Luthor Corp had several satellites in the sky from Lex’s projects and a few not yet launched but already built and being customized for specific purposes. Now there was one less.

“We didn’t steal it,” Kara clarifies. 

“No. Of course not. It was just appropriated by the government when they stole everything else the Luthor family owned,” Lena guesses correctly and a tad bitterly as well. 

Kara had little sympathy. Back when Luthor Corp was simply L-Corp, the government going after Lena’s assets would have found themselves at odds very publiclically with both CatCo and Supergirl. But with Lex behind the wheel and Lena appearing to happily ride shotgun and an architect to some shady projects, Kara was happy to see the government move to seize much of their holdings. Lillian and Lena were still wealthy. Just not as obscenely. 

It wasn’t even anything she or Alex initiated. Lex simply pissed off and double crossed too many people and more than one victim had a backbone and strings of their own to pull. 

“Take it up with the court of appeals,” Kara suggested. 

Lena sat back in her chair, arms folded defensively across her chest. She didn’t look angry. Merely determined. “I don’t want anything Lex was a part of. How ever I go forward now is without him and his influence. The same vision I had for L-Corp when we met.”

Kara wished she could be supportive and excited for Lena’s chance to change the world. But Lena wanted to brainwash the entire population “for the good of mankind” and that hadn’t worked out so well for their relationship. It’s hard not to think of her future intentions as questionable at best.

* * *

It's a couple hours later when Lena hears a chime and a notification pops up on a screen hanging above a fireplace. Kara grabs the remote and the connection begins. A few seconds later Alex’s face appears and it’s obvious she’s at the DEO. 

“Alex!” Charlie brightens, waving her tiny fist in greeting. 

Alex grins widely and genuinely, happy to see her niece. “Hi, bug! How are you?”

There’s some chatter from Charlie as she fills her aunt in on what she’s been up to, that her new friend was finally awake, what cool bugs she saw outside, how mom burned the hot chocolate in the pan tonight (earning an eye roll from Kara whose mind was clearly elsewhere at the time) and a minute or two later, Alex is all caught up.

Lena counts a six second delay between the locations. If she has a chance, she’d love to figure out a way of improving the lag or eliminating it completely. But for now, there’s more pressing issues. 

“We have a problem, Alex,” Kara begins without preamble when it’s finally her turn. 

Lena watches as the message reaches Alex and doesn’t miss the way Alex’s eyes look straight at Lena. She automatically identifies Lena as the source for any problems these days. “What kind of problem?” All traces of warmth and kindness are gone from her voice. 

“Lena doesn’t have enough medication to be here longer than a week. She needs it, Alex. This isn’t a joke,” Kara reprimands her sister for playing around with Lena’s safety. 

Alex’s face goes from official and alert to bored and impassive. She looks at Lena again. “Have you not opened all of your luggage?”

She hasn’t. Lena hurries away and the sisters stare at each other for a moment before Alex breaks the silence. “Has she told you yet?”

“Why she’s here? No. We had other things to think about. Seriously, Alex. The cold weather gear prank was one thing. This is completely irresponsible and _dangerous_ for Lena,” she stresses unhappily. 

Alex looks slightly stunned. “Well that didn’t take long.”

“What?”

“You. Defending Lena again.”

Kara’s jaw clenched and she lowers her head, looking like she’s readying herself for battle. Lena’s return is the only reason there’s not a full on shouting match ramping up. 

Instead Kara looks to Lena in askance and there’s a distinct look of relief on Lena’s face as she gives Kara a subtle nod that she has what she needs. 

“You should have found a three month supply,” Alex informs them. “You listed your meds and dosages when you were taken to the medical wing. I double checked your bags before you left to confirm what you were still taking and stocked the supply myself.”

Kara’s eyes narrow in confusion. “Why was she taken to the med bay?” She looks Lena over carefully for any injuries she might have overlooked during her initial scan with X-ray vision to make sure she wasn’t hiding any weapons. “Are you okay?”

The both miss Alex rolling her eyes before testily calling out “you’re welcome!” before terminating the connection. 

“I’m fine. Just my monthly assasination attempt outside the doors to the DEO,” Lena explains. 

This only partially clears up the confusion while also creating more questions. Last she knew, there was a restraining order in place from Alex and the courts ordered her to stay away from all branches, personnel and locations of the DEO. 

Lena preemptively answers her obvious question. “I needed to see you and Charlie. I’d been trying for months to talk to Alex and she wasn’t taking my calls,” she almost smirks. “I took it into my own hands and was being interviewed by the press on public property outside their doors. The Republic Of Cadmus tried to capitalize on my public appearance.”

“I hate those guys,” Kara scowls, remembering them popping up like cockroaches and going to ground whenever they got close to busting them. She’s quite happy not dealing with them.

Charlie tugs on Kara’s sleeve before wrapping her arms around her thigh and leaning against it. It’s Charlie’s go-to move when she’s tired. 

Both women smile at Charlie and Kara flinches ever so slightly when she picks Charlie up and kisses her sweetly. “Tired, baby?”

Charlie entertains herself by playing with the neckline on Kara’s shirt, not answering her with words, but by laying her head down on her shoulder. 

“Are you too tired for a book?” Kara wonders, heading down the hallway and stopping off for some pajamas to change her into and letting her pick out a couple of books to read. Kara’s pretty certain they won’t even make it through the first one when Charlie lifts her head and requests Lena for her storyteller. 

Lena looks both pleased and surprised to be nominated. 

“You don’t have to if you’d rather not,” Kara offers half-heartedly, already knowing what the answer will be. 

“I would love to,” she answers sincerely. 

“Give me a minute to get her jammies on and then she’ll be ready.” Kara disappears into her bedroom with Charlie and changing her little wiggle worm goes much smoother than their usual nightly battle with Charlie excited for her new friend to read to her. 

“Ready!!” Charlie announces loudly as soon as her pjs are in place. Kara pulls the covers back and herds Charlie into bed. There’s no chair in Kara’s room for Lena to sit so she tries to kneel by the bed instead. Charlie immediately puts the kibosh on it by patting the bed. “No. Sit here.”

“She’s very bossy,” Lena forgets herself as she shares an easy grin with Kara. 

“There’s no negotiating with her sometimes,” Kara agrees, trying to be unobtrusive, yet vigilant. Trust was not coming easily. **Especially** where Charlie’s safety is concerned. 

Still. It does something inside her chest to see not only Charlie snuggling up to Lena, but Lena’s nearly overwhelming reaction to it. Charlie is family to Lena whether she likes it or not, but Kara’s sure if she would have had a different delivery experience with Charlie, she imagines her first moments with her would have looked similar to what she sees on Lena’s face right now. 

The thought is both warming and unsettling. What if Lena’s whole plan being here was to somehow incapacitate her and take Charlie for herself and continue with whatever plans Lex had?

That scenario vanishes almost as quickly as it came. Looking at Lena and Charlie - there’s just no way Lena would ever do something like that. 

“Pterodactyl,” Charlie points to an illustration when they turn the page on her favorite dinosaur reader. 

“Very good,” Lena praises her perfect pronunciation. As Charlie goes on and correctly identifies every dinosaur in the book it becomes even more apparent that Charlie is a very bright and happy girl.

They exceed Kara’s prediction and make it midway through a second book before Charlie’s light snores have Lena growing quieter and quieter as she reads until she’s just above a whisper when she glances at Kara. 

There’s a thin smile there as she reaches for the book in Lena’s hands. Automatically she reaches out her other hand to help Lena off the bed, not recoiling when long fingers wrap around her own. 

Lena bends over Charlie’s body, pulling the covers up and tucking them around her before leaning down and kissing her forehead. 

Kara again observes the glaring tenderness she shows Charlie and foregoes telling her that tucking her in is a waste of time. Charlie tended to be a hot sleeper (like her) and would have the covers kicked off in minutes. 

“Thank you for allowing me to do that. And for talking to Alex earlier,” Lena tells her from the doorway. 

“You’re welcome. See you in the morning,” Kara nods, watching Lena turn and head for her own room.

* * *

Lena didn’t mean to interrupt Kara during her workout. She just wanted to throw a load of laundry in the washer and not be in the way later in the day when Kara might be using it. She thought she’d be the only one awake at five in the morning. 

That’s why she was so surprised and clutching her dirty clothes to her chest as she watched Kara hanging upside down on a full size punching bag, thighs wrapped around it and crossed ankles locking her in place. She’s using the added elevation to make her sit-ups harder and it startled her - definitely didn’t excite her, or anything. 

Certainly not. Kara in a sports bra with matching black/gray leggings and showing off every toned and tightened muscle wasn’t making her heart race. Nor were the sweat slicked washboard abs shimmering under LED lighting. Supergirl was getting an actual workout in. 

All that distraction came to a grinding halt when she caught flashes of an angry and jagged scar that looked to go all the way around Kara’s lower back. She couldn’t get a good look at it because she only saw it when Kara was rightside up half a second at a time. While she wasn’t using super speed, she was still quite fast. 

Kara finally notices her after too many minutes of arguably ogling behavior and pauses as she’s sat up. 

The first thing Lena notices is that Kara’s hardly out of breath. The next thing is that, no, the scar doesn’t go all the way around. It stops a few inches past her spine leaving her left side perfect and unmarred. 

Kara knows where she’s looking and drops down, graceful as a cat to her feet. She rests her hands on her hips as she regards Lena, nodding at the bundle in her arms as she pulls an AirPod from her ear. “Looking for the washer and dryer?”

So many questions come to Lena’s mind. How did she get the scar? When? Who did that? Why hadn’t it healed? _Who did it!?_ Were there any lasting effects? Yes. She quickly answered that one herself, recalling more than once Kara wincing when she stood up or twisted just right. Not full on displays of pain, but certainly more discomfort than the Girl of Steel should be exhibiting. 

“Yes,” She croaks out, clearing her throat before trying again. “Yes. I thought I could sneak a load in and get these done before anyone else was awake.”

“You don’t have to sneak, Lena. You’re not a prisoner and you’re free to use and do whatever you need to. The utility room is over there,” she points over her shoulder and seemingly dismisses Lena, replacing the AirPod as she goes around the side of the heavy bag to keep Lena from seeing her back again and resumes her workout, this time kickboxing and punching in complicated combinations that have everything to do with skill, speed and immense power. 

Lena has to force her feet to carry her away. 

After she’s loaded the washer, taking far too many minutes starting it to be considered as doing anything but avoiding seeing Kara work out again, she leaves the room and heads back inside. The workout area is vacant and the kitchen smells wonderfully of fresh coffee. Lena finds a clean mug that she fondly recognizes as her favorite from Kara’s apartment left out for her next to the half empty pot. It’s hard not to feel some nostalgic pleasure in knowing Kara not only kept it and had it on hand, but she was exposing that fact to Lena. She tries not to read too much into it while helping herself to that and a slice of toast, planning to have a larger breakfast a little later, hopefully with Charlie. And Kara. 

She selects a novel from Kara’s well stocked bookshelves and cozies back down in her bed for a little reading. It's a luxury she hasn’t had in so long she can’t remember the last book she read that wasn’t academic or relevant to a project. 

The shower’s running in Kara’s bathroom and knowing that she’s close by feels comfortable in ways she’s not able or willing to unpack yet. Focusing on her book is going to be difficult. 

Especially when an oddly affectionate kitty murrps as she’s leaping onto the bed and demanding a petting. A few minutes later she learns the hard way that cat bellies really are the gateway to your hand getting caught in a bear trap and narrowly escapes with only a few non-life threatening scratches. 

Lena goes back to reading and gets up much later when she hears Charlie and Kara chatting. She heads to the kitchen and pulls some breakfast fixings from the pantry and refrigerator and whips up what she hopes is enough bacon, eggs, potatoes and pancakes to feed two kryptonians and one puny human. 

Charlie reaches her first. Her eyes are round with excitement over breakfast and seeing her friend. Lena pauses what she’s doing to accept a Charlie hug and in a surreal turn of events, gives Kara a smile she hasn’t given and Kara hasn’t received in far too long. 

“Scrambled eggs still your favorite for breakfast?” Lena remembers Kara had many stages of favorite eggs during the day. Scrambled for breakfast, boiled for mid morning snack, omelets for lunch and over medium for dinner.

Kara nods dumbly, a little surprised Lena remembered such a little thing. She locates her voice a moment later. “Can I help?”

“If you want to start plating, you can. I’m done with everything else but the cleanup,” Lena answers, moving to the sink to wash her hands. 

“Taters, Charlie?” Her daughter nods happily, getting herself in her tall chair beside the table like a big girl. 

Kara inhales the sweet scent of pancakes. Some with bananas and some with chocolate chunks and even a few plain ones. And the potatoes!! Onion and bacon thrown in and crisped up perfectly? Lena certainly remembered what her breakfast kinks were.

Charlie mouths around her food to tell Lena it’s good, dipping her potatoes in a puddle of ketchup much like her new friends puddle and very much to Kara’s breakfast ketchup snobbery chagrin. 

“Really good,” Kara agrees as the food on her plate disappears at an alarming rate. 

“Thank you,” Lena accepts their praise happily, if not shyly. “You’ve been doing all the cooking. I thought you might like a break.”

“I kinda like cooking now,” Kara admits, reaching for the bottle of syrup for the second full plate stacked on top of the now empty one. Lena cringes as the syrup drowns everything. Potatoes, eggs, bacon, pancakes - Kara doesn’t discriminate. She forgets watching Kara eat is a bit like watching Buddy the Elf. 

“Now that you’re not burning everything so much?” It’s a gentle bate and one that Kara rises to take. 

“I said cooking, not baking,” she defends. 

“So you’re still tragic at that. And making hot chocolate, apparently,” Lena struggles to hide her grin behind her napkin. 

“Mama, you burned hot chocolate,” Charlie helpfully reminds her. 

“Yes, thank you, child of mine. Fine. You make the hot chocolate tonight,” Kara pouted, stuffing a forkful of pancakes into her waiting mouth. Kara doesn’t want to admit that if Lena’s hot cocoa was half as amazing as her breakfast, they were in for a treat.

* * *

“Is that chili powder?” Kara wonders, licking her lips after another satisfying swallow of hot chocolate and detecting just a hint of spice. 

“It is. Do you like it?”

“It's delicious,” Kara compliments quietly, tipping her mug all the way up to empty it.

Charlie is sound asleep in her lap after a long day of playing and showing Lena around what Kara affectionately calls their homestead. Lena was very impressed by their mostly hydroponic gardens, providing them with both fresh veggies and growth data that Eliza helps Charlie record and track. Alura has Charlie growing some crops from Kryptonian seedlings as well and as much as Charlie loves just digging in the dirt, she’s also quite good at growing things. 

Lena helps them record new video messages with Charlie showing both grandmothers how much some of the plants had grown and how some of the Kryptonian seedlings were struggling. Lena also gets to sample the produce along the way, Kara rubbing the dirt off and cleaning it up before offering it to her. 

When they’re finished in the garden, Kara guides her around to the solar and wind generators, the well where their water comes from and to a couple other projects Charlie is working on, including composting. 

Lena is blown away by how self-sufficient they are and also by this version of Kara who rattled off technical specs and output numbers from the generators and the well and was perfectly at home throwing out crop yields and how the garden was set up by exposure needs. 

Charlie spent most of the time backtracking and running ahead and then back again to the boring adults. 

The planet shared many familiar characteristics as Earth and Lena was excited to share some ideas she had for increasing generator efficiency and some experiments for Charlie to try. All in all, they had a great day and Charlie’s snores over a cup of hot chocolate was the perfect conclusion. 

There’s a comfortable silence when Lena feels like this is a good opportunity for her to open up to Kara about why she’s there. 

“I brought some things for Charlie. I wanted to discuss them with you before I gave them to her to make sure you feel they’re appropriate,” she begins. 

Kara looks curious. “Oh yeah? What kind of things? Whatever it is, it’s best to space out giving them to her so she doesn’t get bored of everything at once,” she smiles alongside her sage advice. 

“There’s some books, and puzzles. Some dinosaur figures.. Some of them might be duplicates of what she already has,” Lena observes. “There’s also some LEGO sets I think she won’t have any trouble putting together. She’s so smart, Kara. I’m so impressed by her and you and how you’re raising her.”

“She makes it easy,” Kara answers softly, blushing slightly at Lena’s praise. She looks down at Charlie with motherly love and affection, replacing her leg under Charlie’s head with a small pillow and covering her legs with a light blanket off the back of the couch.

“There’s something else.” Lena pauses, gathering her courage and taking a deep breath. 

“What is it?” Kara can feel whatever it is, it’s making Lena nervous and in turn, her. She stands up, unsure what to do with herself short of pretending to busy herself with tidying up a pile of books and toys that matriculated into the living room. She keeps her body turned towards Lena so she knows she’s not ignoring her and encourages her to go on.

“For the longest time, I believed I didn’t have anything left of my mother - my real mother, not Lillian. No connection to her or her family at all except long faded memories. 

“I don’t know if this is something that changed between multiverses, but after Crisis, Lex had something hidden away of hers and he “gifted” it to me as part of his manipulation.” Lena reaches into her pocket and withdraws a gold colored brooch in the shape of a rough circle with pieces of what looked like green marble embellishing a Celtic knot design. 

“It’s a Connemara brooch. Connermara is in western Ireland and is the only place in the world this marble comes from,” she explains, holding it out for Kara’s closer inspection. 

“It’s beautiful,” Kara compliments, holding her hand out so Lena can transfer it to her if she wants to. She does and Kara can feel an energy coming from the historied object. She can tell that it’s very old and it’s obviously been a source of care and pride for many generations. 

“The brooches are recognized as a family crest, kept in families and used to fasten cloaks. Or capes,” she mentions with a gentle smile, accepting the weight of the object as Kara gives it back to her. 

There’s another deep breath and Kara doesn’t miss the way Lena’s hands are shaking when she next speaks. “Traditionally, the brooches are handed down from mother to firstborn daughter.”

It’s such a heavy pause that Kara knows what she’s going to say next.

“That’s why I want to give it to Charlie.”

The seconds are stifling as Kara processes what Lena’s said. She looks from Charlie’s sleeping face, the face that’s changing every day she grows, to Lena’s and back again with crippling realization. 

She never saw Lex in Charlie. Not because she didn’t want to, but because he wasn’t there. 

But now? The shade of Charlie’s eyes? The way her top lip is turned down at the corners, even when she’s smiling and is the happiest of kids?

“She’s not Lex’s. She’s mine.” 

At Kara’s continued and stunned silence with her suspicion confirmed, Lena takes the unexpected opportunity to explain herself further. 

“Lex was sterile. I don’t know if it’s always been that way or due to the harun-el I gave him.” She smiles ruefully. “I almost hope it _was_ the harun-el. I would love to take credit for removing his ability to procreate.”

“But..” is the only word that Kara can manage right now.

“I told you he gained access to the Kryptonian database?” Kara nods minutely. “He created the right equipment and circumstances for the birthing matrix.”

Kara’s jaw tightens with this information before she shakes her head sadly. “And you just.. what? Willingly gave him what he needed to make sure there was a Luthor heir?”

Lenas head is shaking before she even finishes the question. “Kara. No. I would never agree to that,” she swears. 

“Then _how_?”

“Much the same way he stole eggs from you, I think.” Lena sits down to keep from nervously pacing. Kara remains stoic and standing. 

“Nine months ago I went to my gynecologist after not going for a few years.”

In spite of everything, Kara’s mask slips and she looks reproachful. “You have to take care of yourself, Lena,” she scolds.

Lena almost smiles. Old habits never die, apparently. 

“Everything was fine as far as I knew, other than some rather intense months that I ignored and worked through. I mentioned it, she ran tests, did an ultrasound and discovered some significant scarring along my Fallopian tubes and on my ovaries indicating my eggs were poorly harvested within the last few years and some thinning of my bones - also indicating I’d been taking hormones to stimulate egg production.

“Once I knew what to look for, I was able to confirm through Lex’s journals that he’d replaced the contraceptive injections I was getting with hormones. The only thing I couldn’t find was when the procedure actually happened to you or me. I do remember being very ill and out of it for a couple of days almost a year before Charlie was born. I only mention that because there were large chunks of time I have no recollection of.”

 _This can’t be happening_ repeats in Kara’s head as a chime and notification appears on the screen behind her. She’s too numb to move and Lena reaches for the remote and lets the call connect, grateful for any kind of buffer. 

Kara turns to the screen, furious at her sister. At life. At Lena. But most of all, that son of a bitch, Lex Luthor. “Did you know?” she demands an answer, foregoing any greeting or preamble. 

It’s obvious by the look on Alex’s face she has one hundred percent caught on to what discussion she was interrupting. 

“She gave me the evidence last week, Kara. But it wasn’t my story to tell - just confirm,” Alex answers honestly. 

“Is it confirmed? How was it confirmed?” Lena doesn’t miss the way Kara is avoiding looking at her. As if seeing her would be too much for her to handle. 

“There was documentation -“

“You know as well as I do that could be fake!” Kara argues. 

“J’onn confirmed it’s all true,” Alex followed up.

Kara covers her mouth to keep from shouting or crying. To keep the pain inside and pushed down. Some of it bleeds out anyway as she finally looks accusingly at Lena.

“Do you know how many times I foolishly prayed to Rao for the baby to be yours when I still had hope that you and I could figure out a way to fix things between us? Before you turned on me completely? Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

There’s so much pain in her voice and in her confession that it knocks the breath out of Lena’s chest. 

Kara slaps her hand over her mouth again, horrified at what she said and rushes out of the room. A second later the kitchen door leading to the garage slams and leaves both Lena and Alex in the aftershock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise we’re through the majority of the angsty and graphic nature of Charlie’s conception. There’s another mention coming up in the next chapter, but then we’re done referencing it. 
> 
> Apologies for the dark turn, but it’s been the plan since the beginning.


	5. The Seasons Always Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And life will find a way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are the best! Thank you so much for your reads and reviews. I love interacting with you all so much and appreciate hearing your thoughts. Please keep it up! Lol

Lena stayed where she was and left Kara alone, using restraint she didn’t know she had to stay put.

After the first hour, she moved Charlie from the couch to Kara’s bed, hugging Charlie’s sleeping form to her chest for long moments, willing herself not to cry on her daughter. 

_Her daughter._

Someone she never had plans for in any capacity or stage of her life versus the center of her world she’d now give life and limb to not only protect, but to watch grow and thrive. She leaves Charlie now only because she’s worried how Kara would react to seeing her hold her.

She busied herself for a few all too brief minutes by reheating the pot of cocoa on the stove. She eyes the bottle of green labeled Johnny Walker in a cabinet only for a second before dismissing the temptation to add a healthy dollop of whisky to her mug while everything was on pause. 

Her patience turned to worry after the two and then three hour mark and she found herself cautiously opening the door to the garage and peering inside. 

At first glance it looked empty. Lena wondered if Kara abandoned the garage altogether for the surrounding forest. She debated between going after her and staying with Charlie and a few seconds later she was reaching for her hooded jacket hanging next to the door after deciding she’d only search as far out as she could see the house from when she heard the intake of breath as Kara tried to clear her nose. 

Jacket abandoned, Lena investigates further into the garage, rounding the front of the parked vehicle and finds Kara sat on the floor with her back against the front tire and her knees drawn up to her chest for her arms to wrap around. She stared ahead blankly. Her eyes were windows allowing Lena to look right into her pain and her jaw was clenched in anger. The whole picture summed up exactly how hurt and angry Kara was over the entire situation. 

Something that had taken years to slowly recover and heal from and try to forget was suddenly ripped wide open and exposed to new and hurtful truths, redefining her world once again. 

Kara drew in another breath through her nose, still unsuccessful in clearing it from crying for so long. 

Spurred into action, Lena turns and quietly exits. She stops in the kitchen by the pot of cocoa, gives it a good stir and pours it in a mug before popping it into the microwave. While it’s reheating she gathers a box of tissues, checks on Charlie and throws a flannel of Kara’s on over her henley. It’s not cold in the garage, but it is cool. She arrives back in the kitchen just in time to hear the microwave signal it’s done.

Lena grabs the hot mug, the tissues and throws her jacket over her arm and approaches Kara slowly and carefully, understanding she’s the last person Kara wants to face or deal with. 

Kara hasn’t moved much in the time she’s been gone except to rest her chin on her arm, head turned in her direction. When she acknowledges her presence, Lena gestures with the items she’s carrying, silently asking if it’s okay to come closer. She gets a slight shoulder shrug for permission and approaches cautiously all the same. 

She sets the mug and tissues down next to Kara and drapes her jacket over Kara’s back and shoulders. She knows it’s unlikely that Supergirl feels the cold, or even the insignificant weight. It’s not about that, though. It’s knowing it’s been placed there with care. 

Kara must understand the message and thought behind the specific items Lena brought to her. 

First, and most importantly, Lena showed up. She was there and even if they were sharing a house right now, she didn’t have to be. She had plenty of her own reasons to want to be detached in whatever manner she found comforting.

It had been actual years since Lena offered anything sincere or comforting - and as if those thoughts were plucked right out of her head, Kara speaks. 

“Do you know what I hate almost as much as knowing what Lex did to you?” Kara questions haltingly before continuing. “Wondering what your agenda is in coming out here, and that I still care he hurt you,” Kara answers in defeat.

Lena swallows thickly, acknowledging that Kara has every reason to feel that way. She nods slowly. “I didn’t have anyone to turn to when I found out,” she offers in explanation for her presence. ”I understand that you’d prefer anyone but me. I’m sorry Alex or William isn’t here for you.”

Kara looked blankly at Lena for a moment. “Who?”

“Mr Dey? Andrea was sure you were dating while you were still at CatCo,” Lena supplied.

“Will went back to London as soon it was obvious I was pregnant because there was zero possibility of the baby being his.”

Lena read between the lines. She and William never had sex. That piece of information got filed away in Lena’s mental Library of Kara in the ‘I don’t understand why this information makes me happy..or do I? -Section 41c’. (Recently renovated, FYI. The gardens are lovely.)

Lena took a chance that Kara needed to direct the anger she was feeling. Specifically at her. An even bigger chance that maybe Kara would allow herself to take advantage of Lena being ready and willing to take it. 

She sat on the floor opposite Kara, her shoulders resting against the metal shelf unit behind her. It wasn’t comfortable, but nothing about this conversation would be.

“I imagine there are a great many things you’d like to say to me, Kara. Things that I denied you the chance before.” She could feel the heat of Kara’s scowl before she even lifted her head far enough for Lena to see it. “I’m prepared to hear you now.”

Kara’s spine straightened, her shoulders pushed back, her chin jutted out and the muscles in her neck visibly strained with unconcealed rage. There was a steel there that she’d previously only witnessed when dealing with Supergirl - never Kara.

“You’re prepared?” Kara was incredulous. “How very generous of you! _Now_ you’re prepared to just have a chat about _how you destroyed my life_? How you ignored me for months and then testified that I wasn’t fit to be a mother to the child that Lex impregnated me with without any consent or choice in the matter? He medically raped me, Lena! And you, too! And you chose him and blamed me for your shitty decisions because I hurt your feelings and you couldn’t deal with it!”

Kara’s heavy breathing and the sound of her fingers pulverizing the concrete floor on either side of her were the only sounds in the enclosed space. “I would have changed the universe for you. I tried to. I traveled with a Fifth Dimensional being to half a dozen different points in time to try to find the right way to tell you who I was.”

This was all news to Lena. As far as she knew, Kara was done with her from pretty much the beginning of their Crisis reset when she said she was considering Lex’s pitch over Supergirl’s. Her guilt over shooting her brother weighed heavily in her decision. Even though she’d been dismissive of Supergirl and put up the illusion of indifference, she wanted Kara to see beyond that. To fight for her. It was crushing to see how quickly and willingly Supergirl left. She knows how messed up her perception was now, but couldn’t break the cycle at the time. 

“Mxy,” she guessed correctly, having reviewed all DEO recorded events involving the fifth dimension in search of potential energy sources. “And?”

“It blew up in my face each time. I died. You died. Everyone we loved died, plus you. Then me, again,” Kara ruefully replies. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t have ever met then,” Lena concluded after a long pause, though it physically pains her to say it. 

“Yeah. I thought so, too. 

“Instead of saving you from your helicopter crashing when we first met, it went down and Lillian experimented on you and turned you into Metallo. You would have been successful in killing me that time if Mxy hadn’t pulled us out,” Kara informed her, remembering the all too real pain from each blast of Kryptonite, not bothering to add that she refused to fight back and hurt Lena. 

“I don’t know why you keep throwing in my face that I tried to kill you. I have done many, many things to you that I am deeply ashamed of. But I’ve never tried to take your life,” Lena defended herself. “And you did more than hurt my feelings,” she added with a broken whisper. 

Kara made a scoffing sound. “I must have imagined you turning the Fortress of Solitude defenses against me and poisoning me with kryptonite. I also must have imagined the sniper you and Lex hired to shoot me in the head with a kryptonite bullet. Or the squad of goons that attacked me in the CatCo garage, _also_ armed with kryptonite weapons. We forensically traced the kryptonite back to your formula every time.” Kara takes a bracing breath and Lena immediately feels trepidation with whatever Kara’s building up to. She’s right to be worried.

“My personal favorite - the one that really takes the cake? The three HOPEbots that attacked me in my home and nearly cut me in half when I was eight and a half months pregnant with Charlie. They severed my spinal column and forced me into premature labor. I nearly bled out on the floor of my apartment giving birth to her. And guess what? They were all wielding your lab made kryptonite again. I suppose none of that sounds familiar?”

Lena grows more pale by the second. She knows where the jagged scar wrapping around Kara’s back came from now. 

She was a monster. Lex was a demon.

She knew Lex was becoming more and more unhinged, knew that he absolutely wanted Kara dead. She stayed close to prevent exactly that. She thought they were going about things the right way. The smart way. The legal way. It was the only way she would have supported it and that bastard _knew it_.

It was perfectly obvious his intentions must have been to take Charlie from Kara’s body, lifeless or not. 

She feels sick. As if all the oxygen has been sucked from the room. She didn’t - She didn’t know. Like many of Lex’s plans she’s **still** learning and recovering from, she was completely in the dark.

It’s hard to swallow. Hard to find her voice. Hard to wrap her head around everything Kara said. She still tries. 

“Kara. I swear.” She can’t keep her chin from wobbling so she stops trying. Uses the energy instead to find her voice. “I used the smallest amount possible to keep you from following me from the fortress. It was on a timer and you would have been freed in an hour. I programmed it to monitor you and free you if you were in danger. I wasn’t trying to kill you. You were in the one place that would have been shielded from Myriad. 

“You never understood. Myriad was for you!” Even _she_ recoils from how sick that sounds now. “I didn’t want you to have to keep risking your life. I just wanted for us both to be free of what the world keeps doing to itself. 

“I swear to you that I had no idea Lex was trying to kill you. If I would have known…” _I would have found a way to end him myself,_ she finished in her head. “It makes perfect sense that he would. Please believe me when I tell you I would never agree or support that decision.” 

“Why should I?” Kara cried, lashing out angrily with the side of her hand. The door beside her caved beneath her fist, safety glass shattering and raining down while the entire vehicle scooted sideways at least a foot. “The world didn’t do this to me! You did!” 

“You don’t have to believe me, but is it so hard to believe that I was trying to change the world for you the same way you wanted to change it for me? That’s the truth. And I stayed with Lex to protect you and to keep him from killing you. And because I didn’t hate you, but I wanted to. Take that for as little as that’s worth.” 

“If you’d asked me that after the first time you tried to kill me, I might have believed you. Maybe even the second time because I was so desperate to keep you. But once you nearly killed my unborn child - _our daughter_ , I stopped believing there was anything good left in you. Maybe there never was.” 

Months of therapy and the strongest prescriptions she could handle and she was still unprepared to hear those words spoken with such vitriol from Kara. 

“So which is it? You wanted to save me from the world or see me beaten and without hope all along?” 

“Both,” Lena has the decency to admit. 

“Have I suffered enough to satisfy you?” 

“Kara -“ 

“Answer the question.” 

“I ca-“ 

“Answer me.” 

“Yes. Yes, okay? Yes. I wanted you to hurt and ache and feel as broken as I do. I wanted that.” 

“That’s the first thing out of your mouth I’ll never doubt.” 

There’s no consoling either of them at that point. Too much damage has been done. Too much time has passed. Everything they were and could have been has been dismembered and burned beyond recognition. They’re just kicking at each other’s ashes now. 

Lena breaks. She draws her knees to her chest and unconsciously lowers herself to the ground. 

There’s no other way to describe the wide open anguish that tears itself from Lena’s throat than broken. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never wanted to lose you,” gets repeated like a mantra. 

Kara’s calloused exterior remains firm until it bursts like a dam and she joins Lena in misery. She sinks over and just like Lena, she lays curled on her side, mourning each other as they’d never had the chance before to do. 

“Was I always destined to lose you?” Fat tears splash on the concrete next to Kara’s face. “Because I was selfish in wanting you just for me?” 

Lena shakes her head vehemently. “No. Not selfish. I wanted you, too. I wanted you,” she repeats. 

It’s quiet for a long time after that. 

Impossibly, there’s some laughter brewing up from being nearly hysterical for too many hours. 

“We are so fucked up,” Kara succinctly determines. 

The stunned and resigned silence between them returns. 

Until Lena breaks it quite accidentally. Her shoulders shake as she rolls onto her back spread eagle and laughter erupts from deep inside. 

Kara is aghast at first, joining Lena on her back, arms spread out and nearly touching Lena’s. 

“Why is that funny?” Lena guffaws. 

“It’s not,” Kara warns sternly just before a snort escapes her two seconds later and then they’re both releasing years worth of tension and torture in the small space between the car and the rows of metal shelves reverberate with their maniacal laughter. 

Lena hasn’t heard Kara full on laugh for so long. Hearing it now both rips her apart and puts her back together. Her fingertips eventually and tentatively brush Kara’s and before she knows it, Kara is rolling towards her and then there’s a crushing weight on top of her, hugging her so tightly she can hardly breathe and the nodules along her spine are smashing against the hard surface beneath her but it’s the best pain ever. It does not stop her from wrapping her arms around Kara and squeezing her back just as hard as her muscles can stand. 

Kara’s face is damp and hot against her neck, but she doesn’t care. Knows she's in the same shape. 

“I tried so hard to hate you,” Kara admits. 

“I know,” Lena understands, not voicing how much she grew to hate herself. 

There’s more pain to shed after that, but somehow, clinging to each other on a concrete floor on a planet light years away from either of their birthplaces, the burden doesn’t feel as costly or heavy. 

They don’t discuss or acknowledge how hard the floor must be on Lena with Kara’s weight on top of her. Kara just rolls again and takes Lena with her. There’s a slight shifting as she loosens her arms to let Lena find a comfortable position and then they’re tightening around her again. Neither are willing to let the other go. 

Kara sits up after a few minutes (hours? She’s lost track of time.) of little surges of prickly pain shooting down the back of her legs. She once again takes Lena along with her, helping her get repositioned with her legs going around either side of her body. 

Without thinking, Lena’s hand drops to Kara’s lower back, rubbing gently at the base of her spine since she knows the previous position must have grown painful. “Is your back okay?” she asks quietly. 

“I’m okay,” Kara whispers in response, automatically mimicking Lena’s action by rubbing Lena’s back with broader soothing strokes. 

“What happens now?” Lena wonders, no strength left in her to fight or hate, or even raise her head from Kara’s shoulder. She feels like a blank slate in the best way possible. 

“I don’t know,” Kara answers honestly. She draws a shaky breath, turning her head and exhaling just as unevenly near Lena’s ear. “I’m so sorry for what he did to you. Are you okay?” 

Another tidal wave of emotion rises within Lena and she squeezes her eyes tight to keep it from escaping. She’s mostly successful. She nods in answer to Kara’s question. She’s _almost_ okay. Getting there. 

“I’m sorry for what he did to you,” she returns. “I’m sorry I didn’t fight for you when you needed me to.” 

“I could have probably saved us a lot of this by telling you who I was or leaving you alone. But, Charlie is the best thing to come from all of this, and I’d never take back any decision that brought her to me and you,” she finishes after a pause. Charlie is the savior they both needed and deserved. 

“Yeah,” Lena agrees. “I wouldn’t have let you leave me alone, though. Addicted from the moment I saw you stuff four potstickers in your mouth at once during my gala,” she admits. It’s finally more nostalgic than painful to look back at that evening and _not_ have realized her new best friend was Supergirl. 

Kara smiles against the side of her throat before frowning. Lena can feel both actions before Kara draws back just far enough to get a hand between them to place over her heart in a solemn oath. “I didn’t mean what I said earlier. I know there’s good here,” she reversed her hand to tap gently over Lena’s heart before leaving it there, warm and sure. “I was hurting. I shouldn’t have said it,” she apologizes, hoping this apology is one that Lena can see and feel the truth behind - something historically, Lena has a problem doing. 

“I deserved it.” 

Kara shakes her head. “Don’t say that. Don’t _think_ that. You didn’t. You don’t. I’m not going to let you punish yourself anymore or believe any of the crap Lex and Lillian want you to think. I think they always knew you were stronger than them and had to team up just to keep you down.” Kara dipped her head to catch Lena’s eye. “They’re in the past now. They can’t have a part in your future if you don’t let them. We can help each other with that.” 

“Is that what you want? To move forward?” Lena swallows down the hope rising in her chest. “With me?” 

Kara is quiet for so long it nearly extinguishes that hope. But she’s just thinking. Thinking how much she really wants that and forgets to voice it for a second. 

“Yeah. Yes,” Kara tries again when she sees Lena shutting down in front of her. “With you,” she stressed. There's silence where she thought there would be an agreement. “Is that okay? What do _you_ want?” 

“I want that, too,” Lena exhales gratefully, swiftly regaining her ability to breathe and nodding vigorously. 

They stay wrapped in each other for long heartbeats until Kara _has_ to get off the ground. 

“I’m sorry. Do you mind if we -“ Kara begins, shifting her weight uncomfortably. 

“No! Of course not,” Lena sits back and inadvertently knocks their heads together as she shifts forward to get on her knees. Heads bent down and close together, they both laugh at their clumsiness and Kara’s hand shoots up to cradle Lena’s face to prevent them from colliding again. 

The air surrounding them immediately crackles with long unresolved tension as an awareness and an awakening alters their relationship once more. 

It’s unclear who leans forward first. It’s not a fast movement, but it **is** mutual and their mouths slot together easily. 

It escalates and builds intensity first when Kara’s hand goes to the base of Lena’s spine to pull her closer, involuntarily whimpering at the sudden contact of the apex of Lena’s thighs pressed low against her abdomen and again when Lena’s hands thread themselves into Kara’s hair and hold her head still while they nip and suck and lick into each other’s mouths. 

It’s all going very well until it doesn’t. 

Lena suddenly and inexplicably pushes off Kara and stands up on half asleep legs, looking wide-eyed and terrified and using her sleeve to wipe her mouth. 

“Kara!” She seems genuinely upset and Kara pushes herself off the ground and gingerly stands up, her hands held out in a recognizable gesture for peace. 

“I am not -“ Lena chokes on the words of an obvious lie. “I don’t -“ Another lie. 

Kara works hard to keep the disbelief off her face at the utter nonsense of both unfinished denials. Girls who don’t like girls don’t kiss like that. 

“I’m sorry,” she placates. “I thought..” there was something there. “I don’t know what I thought.” 

She doesn’t know why she’s lying now to make Lena feel better, but it seems like that’s what Lena needs to hear. She shakes her hands out to try to get rid of the excess energy from her fingers wanting to reach for the woman in front of her. 

“There’s a lot of intense feelings between us tonight. I just.. I overreacted. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again,” she promises, desperately wondering how they could screw things up again between them so fucking quickly. 

Lena seems to have calmed down, crossing her arms protectively across her chest, her eyes looking everywhere but at Kara. “No, it’s fine. You’re fine. I’m just not -“ she tries and fails again. 

“In to women?” Kara supplies, trying to ignore how hard and fast Lena’s heartbeat is going right now and how her eyes have finally stopped moving and are locked on to Kara’s face. 

Instead of answering, Lena looks apprehensive, as if she’s just meeting her for the first time. “I didn’t know you were,” she finally voices. 

“Gay. Straight. Pan. Bi. Not a thing that gets a label where I was born. If you’re beautiful to me, chances are I’m attracted.” Kara’s quiet for a moment before she tilts her head and makes an addendum. “I don’t believe labels should be something we teach Charlie either, when the time comes.” 

Lena’s brain skips for a second. She clings specifically to her usage of ‘we’. 

Kara was at least open to including her with how she wanted to raise their child. Not treating her as just a biological donor with no say. 

It’s become apparent that Kara is open to other things, as well. 

Of everything that’s transpired between them this evening, _and it’s been a lot_ , ‘we’ is the thing that’s absolutely blowing her mind as she avoids thinking about the other thing. 

Growing up with so many pre-programmed limitations and restrictions has Lena readily supporting the decision. Charlie should be limitless. Shown the freedom and educated and guided but ultimately independent to make her own decisions rather than punished into any kind of submission. 

“I agree.” 

There’s an awkward silence between them after that that lingers until Kara clears her throat and looks around at the mess she’s made of her vehicle. Her X-ray vision confirms she’s bent the frame in addition to destroying the door. “Shit,” she mutters under her breath. “I should fix this,” she gestures to the car. 

Lena is quick to get aboard the lifeboat Kara’s just inflated. “I’ll get out of your way,” she offers, bending down to collect the items she came in with and quickly departing. 

“Shit,” Kara repeats, louder this time in the wake of Lena’s departure. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Maybe some Marvin Gaye style solutions. Possibly?
> 
> Ok, probably.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies in advance if this seems a little rushed and out of sorts. I’ve been rereading and tweaking for far too long and it is very late and I am very sleepy. I promise to polish it up later. 
> 
> And if I may say thank you to everyone that’s commented or kudo’d? It is wonderful to be received and appreciated. Thank you.

The problem with kissing Kara and then completely denying you might have a jersey for the other team, or maybe just for one person on the team with hair softer than mulberry silk and eyes bluer than the ocean, is that you want to do it again. 

She was running on the fumes from one of the worst nights of her life after seeing herself as Kara saw her and then seeing how Kara and Charlie had suffered at the hands of her and her brother before some kind of madness swept them up and into a kiss that was decidedly non platonic. 

Denying that she had the type of feelings that would likely just destroy them again was the only thing she could think of to protect Kara from her legacy. And herself from Kara. She was a disaster and Kara deserved someone whole and good and not just recently trying to pull themself back from the darkness and put themself back together. 

If Kara got too far in (she already was) and figures out that she’s not redeemable? It flat out terrified her to think about who she could become after that. 

Except now that Lena knows exactly how Kara’s lips feel and taste against her lips and her own tongue (unsurprisingly like hot chocolate), she can’t imagine kissing anyone but her ever again. 

The other and more infuriating problem is that she’s lost all dignity and self respect and shadows Kara like a lost puppy. It’s almost comical how Kara doesn’t even try to hide how very amused she is by Lena just popping up wherever she is. 

She’s equally interested in what Charlie is up to of course, and over the next ten days she spends as much time on the floor or outside playing, exploring and building things with her daughter as she does acting all jittery and looking for her next hit of Kara. 

Kara neither encourages or discourages her verbally but has visibly relaxed when it comes to Lena spending time with Charlie. 

She watches on as Charlie begs Lena to take her flying and shrieks with joy as Lena spins them round and round with Charlie’s feet off the ground and rising with speed at the end of Lena’s long arms. They twirl long enough for Lena to get dizzy and stagger a bit and Kara is quick to speed behind them and catch them both so they land gently in her arms in a fit of giggles that she joins in on. “Again!” Charlie demands. 

It’s not all fun and games for them, though. Kara’s still working her way through the aftermath of everything that’s happened. There’s a fair amount of residual resentment and even a pinch of fresh indignation where Lena is concerned. 

She especially doesn’t appreciate being lied to when Lena’s attraction to her couldn’t be any more obvious - but they’re apparently not talking about _it_. For everything else on Kara’s mind, Lena accepts the blame where she can and even shouldered as much of Lex’s atrocities as she could bear without collapsing under the weight. 

But Kara wasn’t unlike Lena in that a genuine apology didn’t erase the damage done this time. And she couldn’t let a little thing like being in lusty love with her ex best friend and current _something_ act as a free pass, either. 

Their relationship was in purgatory. Neither here nor there, just floating along. 

It didn’t help that they were together constantly. It also didn’t help that she was the one moving closer whenever Lena found her going about her daily routine. Her head may still be working through things, but her heart and her body have already made their choice. 

For instance, Lena was a regular for her early morning workouts now. Either using the stationary bike that was only there for Alex and Eliza that Kara never touched (she preferred to run laps around the planet.), doing pilates on the thick mats, or using a mostly straight stick she cut to an exact length and wrapped tape around the end for her hand to grip as she practiced fencing of all things. 

From the look of her precise movements and complicated footwork, Lena was much more than just proficient. It was hard to look away from the graceful display of power and strength as she moved. 

“Can you teach Charlie how to do that?” Kara asked one morning, thinking it would be an excellent way to help their daughter learn control over her powers as they develop more. “I mean eventually. Right now she’d probably just smack us with sticks more than she already does,” she winked. _Winked!_ Stop flirting, Kara, she reminded herself. 

“Of course,” Lena answered smoothly, thrilled at the invitation and the little heart flutter Kara’s attention produced. “I could probably even teach you a thing or two, if you’re interested.” She somehow managed a quirked eyebrow thing that was infinitely more sultry than a boring old wink if Kara tripping over the mat she was already standing on and quickly catching herself before flashing Lena an embarrassed smile was anything to go by. 

While Kara watched her practice fencing with respect for the acquired skill, skill had nothing to do with the way she couldn’t keep her eyes off Lena stretching and flexing in borrowed workout clothes when she was doing Pilates. It was uncalled for, if you asked Kara.

It was a fair trade. Lena pretended not to be affected by the beads of sweat carving a path over Kara’s defined muscles from her neck and shoulders to her waist as she pummeled the heavy bag from every conceivable angle, used it for sit-ups (a personal favorite), or when she was perched on the weight bench with the weight maxed out and still fluid and smooth through each variety of lift she did. 

It was a kindness that no one else had to witness the level of mutual thirst going on every morning, really. 

The heavy weight of Kara’s eyes devouring every inch of Lena wasn’t constant, but it was often enough that it was giving Lena a lot more confidence than she had before where Kara was concerned. 

To Kara’s credit, she only had to repair and replace the heavy bag once after punching through it one fine morning. She did a good job of patching it only to get her foot stuck in it a week later when Lena was torturing her by shoulder bridging. 

Lena tried very hard not to laugh at Kara balancing and hopping on one leg while she tried to delicately extract her foot out of the bag (whose contents were pouring out onto the floor) while Lena held her pose. “Need a hand?” she questioned innocently. 

“If you clap, I swear to Rao, Lena..” Kara warned, finally just yanking her foot free, consequences be damned. The look on Kara’s face very clearly blamed Lena for the mishap and Lena lost all composure, dropped to the mat and shook with laughter. Kara tried (and failed) not to be utterly charmed by the sight. 

The only time unpleasant tension rose, it was not even between them. It was when Kara asked Alex for a replacement car door for the one she smashed the night she found out the full measure of what Lex did to them. 

“Explain to me why you need a new door?” Alex was being overly dramatic and unhappy with Kara’s vague explanation. 

“It needs replacing. Why do you need to know more?”

“Because you’re being a sneaky shit about the details and I’m worried,” Alex countered, all big sister. 

Kara knew Charlie and Lena were nearby. Charlie said hi to her auntie, caught her up with her experiments and showed her the new chord she was learning on her guitar and skipped away to work on a Star Wars LEGO set with Lena. She knew they were in Charlie’s bedroom with the door open and could easily overhear them without trying. She bites down on the side of her tongue briefly before coming clean to her sister, preparing herself mentally for a lecture. 

“The night Lena told me what happened, we argued in the garage. I hit the door and broke the glass. It caved in and I bent the truck frame, too. I fixed the frame, but I can’t do anything about the door. Happy now?”

“No. No, I'm not happy. You can’t lose control like that, Kara. Not with Lena. Especially not with Charlie around! What were you thinking!”

"You don’t have any idea what we went through that night, Alex," Kara stressed, feeling emotional just bringing it up again. The tone of her voice alerted Lena that something was going on in the conversation she'd tuned out while playing with Charlie.

Lena showed her bright girl what pieces they needed to find and put together for the next step and moved to the doorway, listening as Alex and Kara grew more and more upset with each other - over that night in the garage of all things. She didn't feel it was her place to step in until she saw Kara unconsciously reach around and press her fingers against her lower back. 

Whether it was a nervous habit to protect a weak spot figuratively or if it was legitimately aching didn’t matter. Kara was in distress. That mattered. 

She confidently strode into the room, greeting Alex coolly while taking her place at Kara's side, pushing Kara’s larger hand out of the way to press her own hand in the same spot. Kara gave her a brief look of mild surprise but allowed her to keep rubbing the tender spot while Alex's expression frowned at the exchange.

"There's no need to argue over that night. To be perfectly honest, it’s none of your business, Alex. It was and is between me and Kara. We said what needed to be said and we’re doing our best to recover.”

"I'm sure I can think of a few more things that need to be said," Alex replied, immediately getting a dirty look from Kara.

" _Alex_ ," Kara warned lowly, even as Lena’s lip twitched, silently inviting Alex to take her best shot.

The elder sister pointed angrily at the duo in front of her. "Whatever this is is **not** why I sent her there."

"Back off,” Kara warned again, enunciating the words.

"Why _did_ you bring me here?" Lena wondered aloud. Alex very simply could have had her communicate with Kara and Charlie via the projections just as they were doing now. She didn’t have to maroon her on Kara’s island.

The lag between replies was getting very tedious for all parties involved by this point.

Alex took a deep breath at Lena's question, answering in a much calmer tone now. "Because J'onn saw that you didn't have anything to do with the attempts on Kara's life. Because of who you are to Charlie, and because we.. I.. None of this was fair to you, either."

That was as close to an apology as she was going to get from Alex. And that was okay with Lena. They were both cold and logical where Kara was warm and emotional. She appreciated that it was even brought up. Lena gave Alex a nod of acknowledgment, waiting and receiving one in return.

There was a lull in the conversation between them before Alex restarted it after appearing to be in thought for a moment. "We'll exchange vehicles during the next delivery. Lena can wait in the car instead of the trailer this time." She’d already communicated with Kara shortly after Lena’s arrival that she’d prepared another cocktail to give Lena before the next exchange to keep the mode of travel secure.

It was the first time Lena's departure was acknowledged between them all and she felt Kara grow unnaturally still beside her. They all knew it was inevitable, of course. It was just approaching far too quickly. 

But maybe it didn’t have to?

Lena cleared her throat softly. “I was thinking of extending my stay.” Kara’s head whipped in her direction, her expression guarded and dare she say it, hopeful. “If that’s okay with Kara and Charlie?”

“Yes.”

Lena hid her smile at how quickly Kara answered. Zero hesitation. No hint of anything less than excitement. 

“Wait. Wait in the car?” Lena’s head tilted in thought. “It’s not a ship that comes every month, is it?” 

Alex mentally facepalmed. Kara managed to keep the truth about their method of travel from Lena and here she was throwing out the spoilers. 

“It’s a transmatter portal,” Kara supplies, dashing any hope Alex has that either of them were capable of keeping their mouths shut. Her sister looks strangely proud to be the one to tell Lena.

“Kara!”

“What? When has keeping secrets from Lena ever turned out well for any of us?” she pointed out. 

Alex turned a slightly worrying shade of red, holding back whatever scathing reply she had. “You know what? I’m done for the night.” Without another word she disconnected, never hearing Kara’s protest. 

“Alex. Don’t .. go.” Kara stared at the blank screen. She loved her sister and appreciated everything she did to protect her. Alex wasn’t always right, but she always managed to make Kara feel guilty for making her own decisions and not blindly going along with whatever she said. Her unconditional love felt pretty conditional in those instances. It wasn’t exactly toxic, but it wasn’t healthy, either. 

“Are you okay?” Lena wondered quietly, easily picking up on Kara’s tension. It felt voyeuristic to see the Danvers sister dynamic so intimately like this. She kept rubbing Kara’s back, more soothing than therapeutic now as she ventured further away from the spot that was hurting earlier.

Kara shrugged despondently. “Sure.” 

The next step felt awkward yet inevitable for Lena to make after all this time and after everything between them. Her hand fell away and rounded on Kara, holding her arms out in invitation. 

“Do you -“ she offered with uncertainty. Lena understood if Kara didn’t want any solace she was offering. 

Kara looked from the outstretched arms to Lena’s cautiously optimistic expression and it was an easy decision. 

“Yeah. Definitely.” She sank gratefully into once familiar arms, letting out a content breath when Lena wasn’t happy with some half-hearted, slight upper body touching only embrace and pulled them closer together. 

Lena initiated the hug, but Kara was the one to further deepen it, holding Lena so tightly against her that she was weightless on the tips of her toes. It had been so long since Kara had hugged her like this. 

After a long moment, Kara loosened her hold and Lena drew back, hands following a path down Kara’s arms to her hands, grasping them softly as the look of excitement grew on her face. “Tell me about the portal?”

Kara laughed. Lena’s enthusiasm was the perfect balm for Alex’s disapproval. She squeezes Lena’s hands warmly. “Yes, dear.” 

Kara keeps hold of her hand when she steers them down the hall where their daughter is happily imitating a tie fighter attacking their work-in-progress Death Star. They join Charlie on the floor, each grabbing a model fighter of their own to join in the fight, both being chased and chasing imaginary foes. 

Between trading movie lines and over the top sound effects, Kara begins to lay out how they use the transmatter portal. 

“After Charlie was born under the circumstances that she was, it became clear that we weren’t safe on Earth any longer,” Kara begins, not accusing or blaming Lena, just presenting the facts and Lena couldn’t disagree. They _were_ in imminent danger. Lex had gone ballistic after Kara and Charlie completely dropped off the grid and his downward spiral increased exponentially after that. 

“We thought about moving to Argo,” (Lena immediately cringed. Lex would have blown up Argo for far lesser reasons.) ”But Lex already knew those coordinates and had already aimed Claymore at the planet and we figured he was using Luthor Corp satellites to monitor it. So that was out. My Mother petitioned the guilds of Argo for permission to search their archives for planets that are currently life sustainable, but uninhabited and this was at the top of the list of planets that met our requirements.”

Lena’s mind spun with the idea that there are more planets out there seemingly ready for habitation. It was fascinating and exciting to her.

Kara paused her story to join Charlie in a side by side strafe over the Death Star while Lena watches their back, blowing baddies out of the sky to give them a clear path. 

“You’re all clear, kid! Now let’s blow this thing and go home,” Lena calls out as Charlie ramps up her attack by belly flopping on the partially built LEGO set, sending grey plastic bricks in every direction. There was something to be said for having impenetrable Kryptonian skin. 

“Hey! That’s my line!” Kara protests.

“Excuse me. I am clearly the Han Solo of this trio,” Lena states confidently.

“What? You most certainly are not. You’re Princess Leia,” Kara asserted. 

“Let’s get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person,” Lena recites, unleashing an inner geek normally fiercely hidden away.

“Me!” Charlie pipes up, finishing it perfectly if not truthfully as her parents exchange grins. Lena’s breathy giggle comes from approving of Charlie’s Star Wars upbringing and seeing Kara so blissfully happy. From her fresh faced freckled cheeks to her socked wiggly toes, she’s glowing like Lena’s never seen before. Her hands ache with need to reach out and cup that face and draw it near so she can kiss her. 

The unbidden thought sobers her quickly and noticeably to Kara who observes but does not comment, thankfully. She just politely looks away and at their daughter instead. 

“Well this one is a little short to be a stormtrooper,” Kara tilts her head in Charlie’s direction, happy to give Lena an easy out from whatever overwhelming thought she just had.

Charlie quickly declares herself Chewbacca and that’s how the three of them end up on their backs in the middle of Charlie’s room, taking turns belting out their wookiest howls and giving each other pointers along the way. Stew has no idea what to make of this and hides under a bed until long after everyone’s gone to bed that night. 

It’s very late by the time Kara and Lena find themselves standing close together at the kitchen counter, Kara preparing a massive plate of nachos for them to share (Lena has no doubt who the majority will go to) while Lena pours drinks for them. 

“You really don’t mind being here and away from civilization?”

A quirked eyebrow proceeds Lena’s response. “You really don’t mind me intruding in your life with Charlie here?”

Kara puffs out her cheeks to avoid smiling too widely and knocks her shoulder against Lena’s. She doesn’t mind. She’s grown to love having Lena here and she knows Charlie is going to be devastated when Lena does leave. 

Kara, too, if she’s being honest. “You’re not intruding,” she promises softly. 

Once they’re settled at the table with nachos sizzling between them and they start to disappear at a Super rate, Kara nods slightly at the glass of juice in front of Lena while she takes a sip of wine from her own glass. “You don’t drink anymore.” Not a question or a judgement. Just an observation. 

Lena’s eyes find Kara’s while she weighs how to answer. In the end she just shoots for honesty. “It became a problem. It made it easier to get along with Lex and to keep going without you.”

Warm fingers wrap around the hand resting on the table, pride shining in Kara’s eyes for her. “I hope you are really proud of everything you’ve done for yourself.”

Lena swallows around the freshly risen lump in her throat. “Thank you. I’m trying not to focus so much on the bad. It’s easier to do when _the_ good is sitting in front of me.”

Lena watched as Charlie’s mom’s nose wrinkled adorably the same way hers did when she was feeling bashful. It’s enamouring in a completely different way, yet just as effective in charming her. 

Kara seems to have a burst of recollection as she squeezes Lena’s hand briefly before letting go. 

“Oh! Since you’re staying longer, don’t be afraid to put together a list of things you’d like delivered. Food, clothes, supplies you might want for experiments with Charlie or on your own,” she lists as examples. “Alex reviews the list to make sure it doesn’t breach security, but she’s never denied anything. Even if it’s electronics, if you let her know what you need, she can have it modified not to leave a traceable digital fingerprint when it accesses the network here.”

“I will keep that in mind,” Lena replies, already starting a list in her head. “So the house? It’s an extended quanset structure, isn’t it? It looks to be heavily reinforced from the original steel construction.” Kara nods briefly. It _is_ heavily reinforced to guard against natural disasters, and possible predators, both foreign and domestic. 

“The house, the generators, the satellite - that all came through the portal? Where’s the portal on this planet?” Lena can’t hold her excitement back any longer to learn more about how the homestead came to be.

Kara looks like she’s dying to spill, even wiggling in her seat excitedly to share. “Okay, so the portal is about two hundred miles northeast of us. It’s in a spot that is very barren and makes it difficult to determine which direction to go to find us if you show up uninvited. 

“There’s sensors and security set up around the perimeter that alert us if the portal opens. I can either fight them off, or try to get Charlie somewhere safe. Either way, I’ve got a little time to prepare,” Kara informs her before launching into the next explanation. 

“Legends with Brainy helped transport the portal here and got it set up. After that, the materials, equipment and a build crew came through to assemble and finish the house and get generators configured. The best part? They only had one month to do it.”

“Why does the timing always come back to one month?” Lena interjects. “The portals are designed to be used as needed. Why limit that?”

“Well, as you might remember when Rhea had you working on the portal, the energy consumption is enormous and extremely noticeable if you're looking for it.”

“You thought we would know if you were using the portal,” Lena surmised. 

“Yes. There’s always been a monthly protocol to test it - even Lex didn’t change that when he was leading the DEO and Alex kept that protocol in place. So the first of every month, the portal gets opened,” Kara explained. 

“Okay. That’s actually kind of..”

“Brilliant in its simplicity? Oh yeah,” Kara answered smugly. “Do you know how hard it is to outsmart not one, but **two** Luthors?”

Lena took the lighthearted dig on the chin, allowing Kara the well earned victory with just a hint of a proud smile. 

“There’s more clever shenanigans,” Kara carefully began. ”You know that build show where they send a crew somewhere bizarre and they only have the supplies they brought with them and impossible deadlines to complete the project?” Kara gestured at the finished home around them. “You’re sitting in the result of the test episode.”

Lena looked incredulous. A few years earlier, LuthorCon(struction) was asked to participate in an episode for a new series. Lena was hesitant to sign off on a project that would take their best contractor and crew away from Luthor projects, but Lex convinced her it was good publicity for their waning popularity. If she remembers correctly, part of the footage shot was heavily damaged in transit and the episode couldn’t be edited and it never aired.

Lex literally had a hand in building the home Kara and Charlie lived in while they hid from him. 

“This is amazing. You’re amazing,” Lena complimented genuinely, the excitement and thrill of it all apparent in her face and permeating the energy she was radiating. “Why are you so willing to tell me all this? We both know Alex doesn’t want me knowing anything you’re telling me,” she pointed out, sobering the moment. 

“Alex doesn’t always know best even though she was right to send you here. I didn’t trust you. I didn’t want you here. I didn’t want Charlie to ever meet you or even know your name,” Kara freely admits. 

It’s hard for her to say. It’s harder for Lena to hear, but she doesn’t have the sense that Kara’s saying it to tear her down. She’s right.

”You’re here now and whether you realize it or not, you’re parenting Charlie with me already. We've said the terrible things that needed to be said. We’ve come a long way.” Kara pauses again to use the edge of her palms to wipe away the emotions threatening to leak down her face. She knows how much power she has over Lena. Can see how raw and exposed she is in this moment and takes great care to continue rebuilding what’s happening between them. 

“If I can trust you with Charlie, and I am very well down that road,” she clarified, “then I should be able to trust you with everything.” The words were as much of a surprise to hear coming from her own mouth as they were for the Luthor to hear. But she felt the truth of them deep in her marrow and knew she wasn’t making a mistake taking these steps with the woman in front of her. This woman was no longer the Lena she’d met all those years ago and felt an immediate connection to. But not so unlike her that she didn’t know the heart of her anymore. 

“I need you to tell me when something feels like it’s too much and you need time to process, though. I can’t be your therapist. But I can make better decisions this time so you don’t doubt who you are to me again.”

Lena nodded mutely. Held herself back from asking who she was _now_ to Kara. She was afraid of the answer. Afraid she wasn’t who she was hoping to be. Afraid it was too soon to expect Kara to know every aspect of this work-in-progress between them. She trusts that Kara cares for her and that’s why she’s so glad to see her get out of her chair and bend down beside her. She feels boneless and exhausted emotionally and physically after a long day and equally long night and could really use a Kara hug. 

“Coming in, Luthor,” Kara warns just before engulfing Lena and tucking her head under her chin. She’s quick to wrap her arms around Kara’s arm and let herself be cradled against warm strength and grace. Somewhere she never thought she’d have the privilege of being or hoping for again. 

Much like she’s seen Kara do to Charlie when it’s obviously past her bedtime, she’s lifted from her chair and carried to bed. She’s held in one strong arm while Kara pulls back the covers and deposits her gently before tucking them neatly around her. Kara whispers for her to lift her head and she does, the now familiar tubing resting below her nose.

Kara’s hand tangled in her hair after the oxygen concentrator hums to life and then she’s leaning closer and kissing Lena’s forehead. “Sweet dreams,” she wishes before standing up straight. 

Kara doesn’t stay though the invitation is on the tip of her tongue and she thinks she actually would, but Lena doesn’t feel alone tonight, either, and that means everything to her.

* * *

It’s a couple nights later when Lena is headed to bed that she hears some rather colorful language and gunshot sounds coming from Kara’s room. She never realized how desperate for adult entertainment she was after nearly a month of children’s television. Though if she hears _that one theme song ever again_ she might tap into her maniacal Luthor roots for funsies.

She knocks briefly before cracking the door open far enough to stick her head in. “Oh my god. Did I hear a curse word? Yes, Jesus, fuck, please!” 

Kara looked away from the movie playing that was decidedly not child friendly to find Lena’s head poked through her door, waiting for an invitation with a clearly excited look on her face. 

And now, here Kara was, holed up in her bedroom and watching Ryan Schmeynolds delivering some very colorful sarcasm. Kara was clearly holding out on her. 

Kara rolled her eyes and smiled but didn’t turn her away. She was curious to see how Lena would be around her. Curious if the last two weeks of ridiculous cat and mousing had cleared things up for Lena or if she was still denying to herself that the feelings, the heat and the attraction is there. Stronger than ever before. 

Lena came fully into Kara’s room, closing the door behind her just as she’d found it to block the sound from waking Charlie. She was relieved to see a baby monitor on Kara’s nightstand, glowing a reassuring green so they could hear if Charlie woke up or needed them. 

There was nowhere else to sit but the bed where Kara was stretched out near the center, pillows propping her up comfortably. Kara had no intentions of moving. Her room. Her bed. Her rules. 

Lena tentatively sat on the mattress, one leg curled on the bed, the other off the side with her foot on the ground. She was apparently keeping “five feet between them”. This worked for approximately seventeen minutes until Lena stretched uncomfortably and inched her way towards the headboard, looking around for more pillows to prop behind her as Kara had done.

“Get your own pillows! These are mine,” Kara warned, playfully pushing Lena away.

“Pause it?” Lena stood, heading for the door. 

Kara did so before making a request. “Grab a soda for me?”

“Your legs aren’t painted on,” Lena sassed, both of them knowing she was going to do it anyway. If Kara was going to antagonize her, she was certainly allowed a few shots of her own. 

When Lena returned she saw that Kara turned the sheets down, her pillows stacked in the same place more towards the middle of the bed instead of off to one side. It seemed she was not so subtly daring Lena to be close. Close **r** , at least. 

Lena hands off the soda she retrieved for Kara and the water she grabbed for herself before setting her pillows next to Kara’s and getting herself situated. 

The movie begins playing again and so do Lena and Kara. First, no parts of them touch, though they’re easily close enough. It takes almost no time before their legs are resting against each other.

Later, their hands “accidentally” brush together. Then their pinkies curl around each other during a car chase scene and by the third car explosion in the same scene, their fingers are threaded together.

Lena takes a chance when she scoots down on her pillows and pats her own chest in invitation a few minutes later when Kara twists a bit to get more comfortable. 

“Yeah?” Kara checks in with Lena to make sure she knows what she’s starting and Lena lifts her arm for Kara to sneak under in answer. She does so without hesitation, laying her head high upon her chest where she can still see the movie neither one of them are paying attention to anymore and throws her arm around Lena’s torso. 

She can’t help but inhale the smell of her own laundry detergent softly wafting up from Lena’s soft cotton t-shirt mixed with the scent of her bodywash and paired lotion that she’s just always associated with _her_. Much like holding Charlie in her arms after she was born, it’s a feeling of home and belonging and one she went years thinking and accepting that she would never be able to connect to Lena again. 

But here she is. Feeling it. Soaking it in minute after decadent minute. Hesitantly accepting it. Hesitant only because of how badly it hurt to lose Lena and everything she used to associate with her and because she didn’t want to presume that Lena was offering it now. Especially after denying everything between them in the garage. 

“Can I kiss you?” Lena's voice sounds timid and shy, but she guesses that answers that question. 

Instead of answering verbally, Kara tilts her head back and far enough away that Lena can see her. Can see her smile and nod her head before she’s raising herself off Lena and they’re leaning towards each other and closing the distance between them. 

The first press of their lips is not so vastly different from the passionate exchange in the garage days and days ago. It’s just less confident. 

This is softer. More asking and answering than taking and giving. Just a smidge wet. It’s a heady culmination of every new beginning that’s forged between them since the second Lena arrived on this planet. The perfect next step and new growth in a slow exchange of apology and promise.

The next round of kisses progresses into a little more open mouthed and darting tongues, but Kara’s hands have yet to move. They’ve been frozen in the same spot around Lena’s shoulders and it’s.. maddening. Why won’t she touch her?

Lena can’t help that her kisses have become distracted. She’s thinking through every reason Kara isn’t groping her six ways from Sunday. She _knows_ Kara is an exceptionally tactile person. Has been from the second they met. Not just Lena, but with Alex and Winn and James, or even the interns at CatCo, there was always a brush of a hand over a back, a shoulder squeeze in passing or a pat on the shoulder for a good job and don’t even get her started on the full body hugs that always felt a bit like being recharged from pure sunshine. There were several occasions when a hug from Kara made a week from Hell fall away like it never happened.

Maybe she wasn’t into it? Maybe she was just being polite and letting Lena get whatever this was out of her system?

“Do you want to stop?” Kara stiffened beneath her, drawing back and away with so much care and respect that Lena couldn’t help the frustrated grunt she made as she sat fully up. 

“I don’t want to stop, but you don’t seem like this is something you want to do.”

Kara looked slightly incredulous. “Based on what? You asked if you could kiss me and we were kissing, weren't we?”

“Yes, but..” Lena begins to examine how she might be overthinking this. 

“But what?” She waits for an answer and finally, _finally_ reaches out and touches Lena’s face, stroking her cheek with maddening tenderness. “Help me out here. I don’t know why you think I don’t want to kiss you.”

“Because you won’t touch me,” Lena confesses in a voice so small and vulnerable that it instantly resonates with Kara and is a tone she’ll never forget. 

She’s so careful with her smile, not wanting to give Lena the impression that she’s mocking or laughing at her, merely trying to comfort and soothe her doubts. 

“I didn’t want it to be too intense for you.” She goes on further when Lena’s brows scrunch up in confusion. “When we were in the garage, you had quite a -“ _gay panic_ “bit of apprehension about kissing a woman. Plus, we’ve both had things taken from us without our consent. I didn’t want you to feel pressured into anything we do and we have to be able to have trust and honesty with each other every step of the way.”

“Does it have to be labeled?” Lena wondered, hesitating because she didn’t know what she was to Kara. Just who she wanted to be to her and she didn’t want Kara to go away or be disappointed in her anymore. 

“No. But it does have to be real,” Kara warned, sitting up and putting a little space between them. “What happened in the garage?”

“What do you mean?”

“You very unconvincingly tried telling me you weren’t into women,” Kara reminds with no heat or accusing tone in her words. 

Lena plays with a few strands of her own hair. Something Kara has never seen her do and it demonstrates exactly how unsure of herself Lena is feeling. She doesn’t know what she can do to reassure Lena that there are no wrong answers but reaches out and captures one of her hands, holding it steadily between her own and tries anyway. 

“It’s okay to be nervous. I’m nervous, too. This is scary,” Kara admits. “But it’s also pretty exciting and wonderful. Or it can be. We can also just be really awesome co-parents, if that’s what you need us to be.” 

Lena appreciates what Kara is trying to do and it motivates her to speak. Her voice sounds squeaky, even to her own ears. She keeps trying, though. “I said that because I wanted to protect us. I know it’s silly. A Luthor protecting a Super. But I am so afraid of messing up and hurting us again, Kara.”

“We’re gonna mess up,” Kara assures her. “That’s a given. There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. We are both going to screw up. Whether we’re friends, or co-parents or together, at some point we’re going to make a stupid decision or two. It’s how we go about handling it that’s going to make or break us.

“I’m scared this is some act of contrition to please me,” Kara confesses. All Lena can do to assure her is shake her head and cup Kara’s face. “If you’re serious about this? About me? Then I am here for it.”

Lena’s confidence peeks out like the sun hidden behind clouds. Little by little she gains hope and faith in herself that this is something she can do. Something she can be good at. 

“If I say yes, there will be some touching?”

There’s a shared moment of silence between them, each of them finding it easy to slip into this newly proposed shift in the relationship between them and then they’re both _trying_ not to smile and failing happily. 

“Like here?” Kara touches the end of Lena’s thumb and receives a headshake. And another when she rests her finger on the outside of Lena’s elbow and then the tip of her nose. 

“I thought you said you wanted me to touch you?” Kara flirts affably, easing them into new territory. Lena appreciates how delicately Kara is treating her, but really wishes she’d get on with it.

“What about here?” Kara reads Lena’s expressions and silence far too easily and she raises Lena’s hand to her mouth and kisses the inside of her wrist before tugging said wrist and the arm attached to it behind her head, bringing Lena closer to rest their foreheads together. 

“Are you sure?” Kara wonders softly. 

Lena can read the uncertainty in Kara’s eyes and the slight downturn of her lips. Kara’s scared, too. Somehow that knowledge bolstered Lena instead of creating more doubt. She’s the one that tilts Kara’s chin up for her to kiss with fresh confidence. 

There’s some mostly PG kissing and touching after that with occasional spikes into PG13 territory when Lena discovers biting a spot just behind Kara’s ear earns two strong hands briefly gripping her backside. One movie ends and rolls into the next, but neither of them have the faintest clue what’s even on the screen.

Lena doesn’t remember falling asleep, of course. 

They were kissing and holding each other and now the television is off and the room is mostly dark save a night light by the door Kara keeps on for Charlie casting a dim bluish glow partially up the wall. Kara’s hand is warm on her shoulder and she can feel the weight of her sitting on the bed behind her. 

“I’m gonna go grab your air machine so you don’t get a headache, okay?” Kara’s hand dropped to her side and established a comfortable path rubbing from her tummy and back to her side. It’s not playful or exploratory like her touches earlier. It’s confident and sexy and _so_ nice. 

Lena nods and turns as much as she can towards Kara, nodding her head at the unspoken invitation to stay. 

Kara seems to deliberate for a moment before leaning over her and Lena turns her head to meet her, her breath hitching slightly when Kara lingers over her lips just long enough for every muscle in her body to clench in excited anticipation. Her lips part automatically when Kara closes the distance and kisses her so slowly she thinks she might actually be dying from how good it feels and how hard her toes curl. 

And then Kara touches her. Really touches her. 

She draws back just far enough to bite her own bottom lip and smile at Lena, her fingertips ghosting over the curve of her brow and following it down to her jawline. 

She places tiny close mouthed kisses against her lips until Lena mewls with dissatisfaction at the chaste contact and when Kara closes in on her again, she’s bombarded by several sensations at once. Kara’s fingers grip her jaw and tilt her head up so she can kiss her harder and then those same fingertips sweep over her chest before landing on and lightly squeezing a shirt covered breast, both of them thrilling as a nipple pebbled excitedly under Kara’s palm.

Kara won’t let her turn over any further. Keeps her suspended right where she is as the kiss grows more sensual. 

Lena is no delicate flower. She’s kissed and has been kissed with purpose. But nothing like this. Kara hasn’t even come close to touching where she’s throbbing and wanting and so close to coming she might just die of embarrassment. But she loves it. Loves that she feels so out of control and for once in her life, it’s not scary. It’s safe and familiar and exciting all at once and Kara’s never been any closer to consuming everything she is than right now. 

And then it’s over and Lena is reeling from the loss of Kara surrounding her senses. She feels drugged as she opens her eyes to find Kara watching her. She looks a tad smug and a whole lot just as turned on as Lena as she withdraws her hand from under Lena’s shirt where she’s quite upset she doesn’t even remember it going there. Just feels hot. Hot and bothered. 

“How’s that for touching?”

Thankfully, Kara doesn’t wait for her response - just gets off the bed and Lena doesn’t miss the extra swing in her hips as she disappears out the door. She’s not sure what reply she would have given that wasn’t expletive laden demands for more anyway. 

Lena lies there wondering what the hell just happened while she tries to reign in her breathing. That had to be some kind of fluke. Surely it’s just been too long she had contact - actual contact - with another soul and since that soul just happened to be someone she’s had a spectrum of intense feelings for, it just got out of hand, probably. Definitely a fluke. 

_It was not a fluke._


	7. To Carry You To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much fluff. With a dash of smut. Mostly just girls cuddling and a couple of reveals thrown in. It’s what we need!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning: there’s not a lot of plot advancement here with the exception of a couple big reveals and some questions answered. We’ll pick up the pace next chapter. I don’t know about everyone else, but I needed to just see them being together right now. 
> 
> Hope you’re all well and hanging in there. Keep championing for each other. Keep loving and supporting each other. We can do this. ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏼

Lena awakens just before Kara returns from her workout. She knows she slept through it, but either Kara’s bed drugged her to sleep in or having Kara’s hand on her hip most of the night makes her sleep through her internal alarm. 

Either way, she does her morning routine and climbs right back into Kara’s bed, snuggling down in the sheets and blankets that smell like sunshine and vanilla. Stew half jumps/half climbs onto the mattress and makes herself at home on top of Lena’s feet. She’s on the verge of going back to sleep when she hears Kara moving around quietly. There’s a mug of fresh coffee left on the nightstand beside her and she hears Kara’s shoes come off as she begins to strip on her way to the shower. 

Lena sits up in bed, bending her knees under the covers and leans on them, watching a back soaked tank top get pulled off and thrown in the direction of the open hamper. She doesn’t mean to cough and alert Kara and halt the show. _Really_ doesn’t mean to interrupt, but Kara turning around and coming to her side of the bed is pretty okay, too. Especially now that she gets to see all that skin up close. 

“Hey,” she calls out softly in the stillness of the morning. “Did you sleep okay?” 

Lena gives her a sleepy smile. “Yes, thank you. Can’t believe I slept this late and missed getting to see how you got this sweaty.”

Kara grins bashfully. “There was no one to distract me this morning so I got an actual workout in.”

“Do I distract you?” Lena wonders not so innocently, reaching out to brush her fingers over the abdominal muscles right in front of her. Kara catches her right before she can make contact and she makes a noise of disappointment. 

“You know you do.” She knows she does. 

“I really want to kiss and hug you.” Lena really really wants that too. 

Kara leans a knee on the bed beside her and gets closer and closer and Lena feels herself craning to close the last little distance between their lips and then Kara giggles mischievously (maniacally, if you ask Lena) and hops off the bed. “I’m gross and sweaty. I’ll catch you after I’ve showered and am sparkling clean for you,” she teases, finishing her striptease on her way back to the shower and Lena has to make due with just a peek of her perfect little butt as she flops backwards onto the bed. 

She knows it’s too soon to strip off her own pjs, slip into the shower with Kara for a wake up call, but the thought does more than cross her mind. She settles for sitting up again and reaching for the coffee Kara brought her. A happy inhalation of the fresh brew and a few long drags help her re-center and prepare herself for the day ahead. 

She’s excited to help Charlie make a cloud in a jar today. She knows from doing a little rummaging around previously that they have the necessary supplies to do it. It was one of her favorite experiments with a tutor she only had for a brief time as Lionel and Lillian thought her to be a little too free spirited and lacking in academic discipline to be an appropriate teacher for the Luthor family. 

Speaking of Charlie, there’s noise coming from the monitor on Kara’s nightstand indicating she’s either waking up or dreaming. She listens for a moment until she detects Charlie whimpering and distressed about something. She throws the covers back and steals one of Kara’s hair ties, pulling her hair up in a messy bun as she goes to investigate. 

Her concern grows tenfold when she sees that Charlie’s awake and upset and immediately clings to her when she picks her up. 

“What is it, my darling girl? Did you have a bad dream?” She can feel how clammy Charlie feels in her damp pajamas as she hugs her tight. 

“No. There’s a storm coming,” Charlie cries into her shoulder. 

Lena’s not much for foreboding feelings, but the sentence feels a little ominous to her. She ignores the way it tries to settle in her bones and focuses on her girl. “How about we get you changed into some more snuggly pajamas and we go wait for mama in her bed? Does that sound like a plan?”

“A good plan,” Charlie agrees, making the task of changing her clothes nearly impossible by clinging the entire time. Unfortunately, fresh pajamas don’t help and Charlie is back to crying when Kara finds her girls huddled up on the bed when she emerges from the en suite. 

Lena can tell she’s surprised to find Charlie there as she quickly reaches for a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt she was originally going to bypass in favor of joining Lena in just a cute lacy bra she hasn’t had an occasion to wear in forever and boyshorts. 

“What’s going on here? Hmm?” Kara crawls into bed beside them, kissing each of them on the cheek in turn as if they’ve all been together for years and not days. 

Charlie repeats what she told Lena about a storm and Kara nods, knowing exactly what’s happening. 

“I thought so. My back hurts a little this morning,” Kara confesses, adding to Lena’s confusion and concern. If Kara’s actually voicing pain, she knows it’s hurting more than a little.

“Charlie is basically a barometer. Always knows when we’re going to get hit with a storm a few hours before it happens,” she explains. “We’re both sensitive to atmospheric changes here, especially ones that block out the sun. Well.. I’m sensitive, _she_ is like a calibrated instrument,” Kara amends. 

“Does it hurt? Are you both in pain?” Lena worries as Charlie burrows into her, seeking comfort. She can’t get close enough, it seems. It hurts Lena’s heart beyond measure. 

“It doesn’t hurt her,” Kara promises. “It just feels heavy. And she’s not used to anything having any effect on her, so I think it scares her more than anything.” 

“I don’t like it,” Charlie succinctly confirms. 

“What do we do?” Lena fretted, trying to be calm for Charlie and Kara, but feeling rather helpless. 

“Exactly what you’re already doing. We usually just cuddle in bed and snack and watch tv till it’s over.” Kara watched Lena with Charlie. Noticed how her daughter, who completely abandoned her Auntie and her Grammy Eliza on storm days in the past and only wanted to be comforted by her mama, was still latched on to Lena as if the relationship she had with her surpassed attachment and went straight to bonding.

There’s a brief moment of jealousy that her little girl isn’t reaching for her, but that’s all it is. A fleeting moment. When it settles, she just feels grateful and happy that Charlie has Lena to rely on, too. 

“I should probably go secure some of our outside projects if it’s going to get bad,” Kara mentions, loathe to leave the bed when it’s so nice to be one side of a Charlie sandwich. 

“How bad are we talking?” Lena wonders. 

“The last one we had was a good category 3 hurricane,” Kara reports. 

Lena’s eyes widen. “That would indicate there’s an ocean fairly near?”

Kara nods. “About fifty miles west. We’d definitely be getting hit harder if we lived closer. Most of the energy is gone by the time it reaches us.”

“Kara. Are we-“ She doesn’t want to scare Charlie, but this sounds pretty serious. 

“We’re perfectly safe,” she quickly assures her. “Remember when you noticed the house was reinforced? We can easily withstand a category 5 hurricane. It’s built for severe and extreme conditions.”

“I would very much like to see what a beach looks like on this planet,” Lena announces after long moments of basking in the act of them all being together. 

Kara’s eyes brighten at the idea. “We would love to show you! We’ll try to go later this week,” she promises. 

They cuddle closely together for a little longer before Kara pulls away, anxious to be done and back inside. 

“I’ll only be a few minutes and then maybe I can whip something up for breakfast, instead of snacks?” 

Charlie turns and wraps her arms tightly around Kara’s neck and doesn’t budge when Kara tries to pull her away but does let her feelings be known with a resounding no and a demand for her to stay there. 

Kara smiles good naturedly, tickling Charlie’s sides until their little bean is giggling and wiggling to escape her mama’s fingers. “Don’t you want some pancakes and eggs for breakfast? We can do Mickey shaped ones with chocolate chips?” Kara can see she’s making some headway. 

Lena whispers into Charlie’s ear and she happily relays the message “Bacon!” 

“Okay, alright,” Kara laughs, “bacon, too. You want to stay here with your Lena? She’ll give you big hugs while I’m gone,” she negotiates. 

Charlie peeks up at _her_ Lena to make sure she’s on board. “You’ll stay here?”

Lena nods her head. “I promise,” she vows.

Kara takes advantage of the window of opportunity and gives Lena a quick wink as she gets off the bed and pulls a hooded raincoat from her closet. She rounds the bed on Lena’s side and leans over them, prying Charlie away from Lena when she hears her daughter winding up to start crying again when she leaves. 

“I will be right back and Lena’s going to be with you the whole time and then we’re going to all be together, okay?” She leans in closer to give Charlie an Eskimo kiss, aware of Lena keenly observing. “You want in on this?” Kara smiles brightly, rising slightly from Charlie to reach Lena. 

“Yes please.” Lena’s double dimples have made a rare appearance and Kara moves quickly so as not to waste them. 

Kara brushes her nose softly against Lena’s, feeling all kinds of fluttery and happy things happening in her brain and throughout her body. 

“Be careful, Supergirl,” Lena requests when Kara draws back. She can see the carefully concealed pain Kara’s in and it’s making her rather nauseous but knows Kara is determined to get things taken care of as quickly as possible.

“I promise,” she repeats Lena’s vow to Charlie. They lean towards each other again, closing the space between them for an all too brief kiss in front of curious eyes and then Kara is on her feet and on her mission. 

Lena entertains Charlie with the story of how she met Kara and Uncle Kal, telling her how Kara’s smile was so big and so bright and made her feel so nice, like the sun breaking through the clouds on a rainy day and how there was only one other person she knew that had the same smile.

“Who?” Inquisitive eyes waited impatiently for the answer.

“You.” Lena punctuated her identification with a boop to the nose. “Can I see it?”

Charlie hammed up her smile, squinching up her little nose and showing lots of teeth and getting attacked by loud kisses for her efforts. 

There’s a loud crack of lightning outside that makes both of them jump in surprise. Their hearts are still hammering along when the sound of motors humming at opposite ends of the house piques Lena’s interest. 

Large storm proof doors slide down to cover the windows and lights pop on automatically around the home to keep it from getting dark inside. 

She gets up to investigate and Charlie quickly jumps into her arms when she opens them and she gives her a reassuring squeeze, reminding her that Kara’s fine and she’ll be back inside soon. Before the doors block out any and all views Lena can see the dramatic dark clouds overhead and the lighting that’s making everything outside look like it’s been captured in extra high definition. 

Kara and Charlie weren't kidding. This was going to be a monster of a storm. 

Only a small percentage of Lena is concerned about the weather. The overwhelming majority of her is more curious about the phenomenon and scale on a planet this size. She makes a mental note to ask Kara if any of the monitoring they have installed around the homestead would allow watching the storm outside progressing. 

“Let’s see if we can get breakfast started.” It’s a fine idea in theory, but in practice she’s managed little more than pouring herself and Kara a second cup of coffee and setting out a couple of pans on the stove and a few necessary ingredients nearby. She might have also engaged in a brief game of stinky feet, but she can’t be blamed for loving Charlie’s smiles and Charlie’s breathless giggles. 

Kara’s soaked to the bone when she comes through the door, her raincoat left hanging and dripping in the garage and apparently no match for the whipping wind and buckets of rain hitting her from all sides. 

“Oh my god,” Lena can’t help but exclaim. 

“Yeah. It’s wet out there,” Kara confirms, her teeth chattering just a bit and it’s so _human_ that it stuns Lena. 

Charlie on her hip, Lena ushers Kara back into her bedroom and towards the freshly vacated shower for another one to help warm her up. Kara snags her hand just as she’s ready to leave. 

“Hey, wait. Come here,” she pulls Lena closer and she should have known by the glint in Kara’s eye that she was up to something. She was not prepared for the _something_ to be Kara’s cold and wet face pressed against her neck. 

Lena shrieks, laughs and tries to shove her away all at once but Kara holds tight and pounces on Charlie next and gets the same reaction. 

Kara really doesn’t want to get them both cold and wet, but she wants to let go even less. As if reading her mind, Lena wraps an arm loosely around her neck and kisses her cheek sweetly. “Get warmed up and then come find us,” she instructs, neither of them making any move to separate. Instead, Lena slips her hand under the hem of Kara’s clingy shirt and tries to warm the cool flesh on her back. 

She’s making it difficult for Kara to break away and she knows it. The longer they stand there politely groping each other, the longer Kara stays cold and it’s more likely her legs and back will bother her. Lena allows it for another minute before withdrawing her hand, drawing a disappointed groan when she pushes Kara towards the shower cabinet. 

When Kara re-emerges from her shower and goes to find Charlie and Lena she discovers the fireplace crackling melodically and heated air circulating through the living area. Kara stands in front of it for a few minutes, lulled by the dancing flames and the inviting heat. She makes a couple of turns, letting the heat seep into her back through the thin undershirt and thick hoodie she’s wearing first before letting the same heat soak into her chest and hands held out in front of her.

Adequately warmed she continues her search, finding Lena in front of the stove. Spatula in one hand and a clingy preschooler residing on the opposite hip. 

She slips in behind them easily and Lena sinks into her embrace, letting out a content hum at the residual fireplace heat radiating from Kara. It feels nice to be in her arms and against her chest anyway, but the added bonus of heat on a chilly day makes it even more glorious. 

“That’s much better.”

“Mmhmm,” Kara agrees, loving how soft and pliant Lena is in her arms and around her in general lately. There’s a lingering shadow that this is how things could have been all along that she tries not to dwell on. They’ve got Charlie. And they’ve finally taken steps towards each other, too.

“How are things going here?” She knows Charlie is a pleasant distraction, but also a formidable one. “Do you want me to take over?”

Before Lena can answer, Charlie reaches into the hot skillet and plucks a perfectly browned mouse eared pancake out and offers it to Kara, giving Lena a mild heart attack in the process. “Charlie!” She wants to say more. To scold her for reaching into a hot pan and putting herself in danger. But she can’t. Because Charlie is Kryptonian and not bound by the same rules of safety as humans. 

“She’s okay,” Kara tells her gently before addressing her curious-what-all-the-fuss-is-about child. “Charlie. What did we say about playing around the stove?”

“It’s dangerous. Hot,” Charlie answers, not understanding why her Lena looks so unhappy. She wants to help. Maybe she should get a pancake for her, too.

She bends over in Lena’s hold to do just that when Lena quickly turns her away from the stove and this time it’s Kara’s voice that gets raised. “Charlie, no!”

It’s .. a lot to reconcile and something they’ve never really discussed. Kara sees her distress and takes Charlie with a soft “here, let me take her,” spoken to Lena. She goes only so far away as the counter next to the stove, hovering in the air until she’s high enough to sit down on it, instead of jumping. 

It doesn’t hurt to use her powers here, but it’s not without effort as it is on Earth. Something else Lena notices, but hasn’t asked about _yet_. She assumes it’s because she’s not able to absorb as much yellow sun and therefore less superpowered. She also wonders if this is the reason Kara has a scar and lingering effects of the spinal injury. 

“Mmm, thank you,” Kara tells Charlie after she pulls one of Mickey’s ears off and offers it to her. Kara pulls the other ear off for Lena, giving her a reassuring wink in response to the raised eyebrow at the offered treat. Lena leans closer and opens her mouth for Kara, her expression turning slightly critical as she chews. 

A second later she’s adding a dash of salt and a tad more vanilla to the pancake batter before dipping a spoon in and tasting it. Apparently happy with the results, she adds more batter to the pan and softly drags her fingers along the inside of Kara’s wrist before linking their fingers together when Kara reaches for her. 

“Did you get everything squared away?” Lena wonders, keeping an eye on both the pancakes and the potatoes and bacon in the oven. 

“I did. I usually have to worry about what this one is getting into,” she nods at the troublemaker in her arms. “Thanks for keeping her occupied and giving her lots of hugs.”

Lena gives them both a wide and inviting smile. “Pretty sure I had the easy job of the two of us.”

The day jumps off one set of rails and finds a shared track after breakfast and the transition isn’t necessarily an easy one.

Kara and Charlie are both lethargic as the storm rages outside. It’s still early in the day and they’re prepared and protected in their tortoise shell (as Kara lovingly refers to their home), and Kara proposes that Lena might like to see all the media she has of Charlie since birth. 

Lena responds enthusiastically, excited to watch and be included in Charlie growing up, even if it’s just through a screen. It’s obvious to Kara how excited Lena is as she wiggles to get settled on the couch beside her where they’ve camped out under a pile of blankets and surrounded by half a dozen pillows. 

Kara’s media collection isn’t linear and jumps around, but Lena doesn’t care. She’s transfixed and Charlie is amused at the pictures of herself and happy to point out everyone photographed or recorded from Alex to ‘Barney’ and Nia, Alura to Eliza, J’onn to Lois, Kal and their boys Jon and Jason to a rather rough looking gentleman with a shaved head that looks more likely to be fresh out of prison than hoisting a very enamoured looking Charlie in his tree trunk sized arms. Lena recognizes him as Heatwave before Charlie waves excitedly at the screen as if he could see her. “That’s Mick!” 

“Charlie adores him. Jon was the same way when he was an infant,” Kara helpfully provides after shrugging at Lena’s raised eyebrows. “He’s like a baby whisperer.” Lena has questions. So many questions. 

They move on and Lena gets to watch Charlie take her first wobbly steps from the same couch they’re currently cuddled up on to Kara kneeling with arms wide open in the center of the room. 

Charlie makes it about half way before plopping down on her diapered butt, the sound making Lena grin and cry at the same time. Little Charlie completes her quest to Kara by scooting along the carpet quite quickly before getting scooped up for hugs and kisses and danced around the room. 

“She was this close,” Kara holds her fingers a smidge apart, “to being nicknamed ‘Scooter’.”

“That was amazing!” Lena proclaims, hugging a beaming Charlie to her chest. She tells her how proud she is of her and Charlie, who has clung to either (sometimes both at the same time) of them this morning, slips off the couch and runs through the living room, down the hall, back into the living room and into the kitchen and then stops right in front of Lena, looking proud at her demonstration of how fast she is now.

“You ran so fast I didn’t even see you!” Lena praises her excited daughter, holding her hand up for a high five, which gets enthusiastically smacked. She idly wonders how long it’ll be before Charlie actually is too fast to see. 

For now, that seems to be all the gas Charlie’s got in the tank as she crawls back up on the couch between her moms. Head on Lena’s lap, feet on Kara’s. 

Kara aims the remote and the show resumes. 

There’s plenty of feel good pictures and clips and Lena feels herself getting misty eyed more than once seeing Kara and Charlie’s life together over the last few years while she’s been exiled and aimless and utterly alone while in the den of wolves. 

Kara seems to be coming to the same realization when she tugs her sleeve, inviting her closer and Lena closes the distance until she’s resting more on Kara than the couch and an arm gets wrapped around her. Charlie gets the added benefit of being a part of a sandwich again and is pretty content. 

“You’re here now,” Kara reminds her. “Pretty soon there’s going to be tons of pictures and video of you popping up, too.” 

Lena fights to swallow past the lump in her throat just to be able to nod. She _is_ here now. But among the list of things currently freaking Lena out, the living situation is only temporary. 

She can’t (as much as she would like to) abandon her life without at least tying things up. There’s no guarantee that Kara expects that of her or wants her here full time. 

Charlie doesn’t even know who she is to her - and that’s the biggest and most glaring item on the list of things on Lena’s mind. Not to mention the fresh shift in hers and Kara’s relationship. She wouldn’t know how to label it even if she weren’t so deathly afraid to do so. 

“I like the sound of that,” Lena voices a long moment later after thinking far too much. She absolutely means it. Even if she’s not sure how feasible it is. Her eyes close and her lips automatically curl up at the feel of Kara’s lips against her temple. Kara keeps surprising her with frequent bouts of affection and constant attention. She always imagined Kara would be this way, but didn’t anticipate loving and craving it so much. 

Another dozen or so pictures go by. There’s a fairly recent picture of Alex and Charlie flexing for the camera, both of them gritting their teeth and giving the most intimidating looks that have both Lena and Kara chuckling when Charlie identifies their expressions as “mean mugging”, but the next photo puts an abrupt end to the good times. 

Kara’s neck is in a tall and rigid collar as she lies in a DEO hospital bed hours after giving birth. She looks beyond exhausted. Alex is holding a tiny swaddled bundle in her arms, up high enough for Kara to see since she can’t move her head and Kara’s managed a slight smile as she gazes at her newborn daughter. 

So many details bombard Lena she’s not sure what to focus on first. She takes in Kara’s forehead pinched tightly, her jaw clenched in pain and she’s pale. So pale, her normally vibrant skin looks ashen and waxy, but what eviscerates Lena is Kara not being able to hold Charlie and the hardware physically holding her body together. 

A brace mid-chest is bolted to another brace around Kara’s hips and Lena counts four external pins piercing Kara’s flesh to hold her spine in place and a wide swath of bandaging around her middle. 

“That one is tough to see,” Kara admits, using the remote to skip to the next picture, but it’s too late. Lena will never forget seeing the damage done to Kara that she might as well as condoned by not doing anything to stop it. 

“Don’t do that,” Kara tells her gently, already guessing what Lena’s thinking and doing to herself. “You couldn’t know. He knew you would have stopped him if you had any idea what he was up to,” Kara reminds her, not even saying his name in front of Charlie, or Lena for that matter. Never again. 

Lena struggles to find any kind of solace in Kara's words. Doesn’t want to, if she’s being honest. It was easier to continue believing she deserved to be unloved and punished for her actions than believe or hope she was worthy of Kara’s forgiveness and Charlie’s love. 

She feels Kara gripping her jaw and turning her head towards her, forcing Lena to face her. “Stop it,” she tells her firmly, but with so much kindness Lena can’t help closing her eyes. “Look at me,” she requests and Lena reluctantly complies. “I’m okay. I’m even better than okay,” she amends. “I’m happy. I’m so happy with Charlie _and you_.”

“How can you say that after everything that’s happened?” Lena shakes her head in disbelief. 

“Very easily,” Kara tells her simply. “I’ve hated and blamed and been miserable over this for a long time. Almost as long as I’ve been waiting to be able to love you again and feeling stupid about it. You hurt me like no one ever has. You did terrible things,” Kara doesn’t sugarcoat it, knowing that above all, Lena needs some tough _love_ if she’s going to take what she’s saying to heart. 

She’s still grasping Lena’s chin and she begins to stroke Lena’s lip with her thumb as she goes on. “If I believed that you were still that person, I wouldn’t be sitting here with our daughter between us telling you I love you and I’m glad you’re here.”

Lena swipes furiously at her cheeks, damp thanks to her traitorous eyes. “You should not be trying to make me feel better about this,” she tells Kara. She’s _A_ ngry. Angry at herself. Angry at Kara for being so _good_ and understanding. So very **A** ngry at Lex she’s actually shaking. 

She shot him once and felt comfortably numb about it. Now she feels white hot rage that it didn’t stick and that she didn’t correct that mistake. For the first time, in a very long time, she feels… homicidal. And all the trappings of guilt that come with it. 

However. 

Kara just told her she loved her. Love **s** her. 

She takes a second to steel her nerves and focus on what’s right in front of her and not messing it up. She lets Kara brush her thumb over her cheek before reaching up to hold Kara's hand between her own two. 

“I love you, too,” she tells Kara with all the gratitude in her heart. “I love you and I love Charlie so much that it makes my heart feel like it’s overflowing. But I hate him. And I feel like a hypocrite for having both emotions here,” she places her hand over her own heart. “As long as I have that hate, how can I ever be worth-“

“Nope.” Kara shakes her head, succinctly ending Lena’s self-destructing thoughts. “You and I are completely justified in our hate for him and passing up our feelings for each other is another win for him.” She lowers her head down to catch Lena’s fallen gaze. “Don’t we deserve to be happy? Doesn’t Charlie deserve to have both our love? I refuse to let him take anything else from us. Especially this. Especially _us_ ,” Kara preaches adamantly and Lena is condemned to drop all defenses around her heart and let Kara and Charlie fully in. 

Lena can’t help but bury her face against Kara’s neck, eyes suspiciously glassy as she tries not to get too much snot on Kara or her hoodie. 

“You’re really good at hope speeches.” Her voice is muffled against skin and soft cotton, but Kara hears her well enough to smile as she rests her head against Lena’s. 

“It’s kinda my thing,” she boasts.

Charlie squirms around until she’s kneeling on Kara’s legs and facing both women. There’s such a look of curiosity on her face when she pats Lena’s shoulder to get her to stop hiding her face that it makes Lena’s stomach somersault in anticipation for whatever Charlie’s going to say.

She points to Kara first, sure in her identification. “Mama.”

Somersault doesn’t even come close to what Lena’s heart and stomach are doing when Kara gives Charlie a full blown grin, knowing, as they all do now, where this is going. “Yep, kiddo. I’m your Mama.”

Her little finger changes direction, aimed at Lena now. “Mama?” Less certain, but still piecing together enough of what was said to know that her Lena really was _her_ Lena. 

Lena looks to Kara for how to proceed. She wants more than anything for Charlie to know and to mother her openly and fully. 

“Yeyu,” Kara confirms in Kryptonian, knowing both Lena and Charlie understand the word. 

Lena’s heart pounds furiously in her chest as she waits for Charlie’s next move. She doesn’t know what she’ll do if Charlie rejects her. 

A crinkle not unsimilar to the one Kara gets when she’s thinking too hard appears between Charlie’s eyebrows as she glances between her parents. 

“Mama isn’t going anywhere,” Lena is quick to assure her, not wanting Charlie to be scared that she was losing or trading one parent for the other. Kara wasn’t being replaced and it was important for Charlie to know that. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to be here with you both.”

“Both?” Charlie repeats, obviously relieved by this news.

“Both,” Kara and Lena simultaneously confirm. 

Green eyes stare them down for another moment before Charlie merely turns around and sits down on Kara’s lap. She turns slightly to reach back for Lena’s arm and pulls it across her little body, using the inside of Lena’s elbow as a chin and head rest. 

Kara can’t stop smiling. Every time Lena tears her gaze away from Charlie, Kara’s smile is the only thing she sees. Lena doesn’t think she’s ever known the meaning or the weight of the word ‘home’ as she does now. It doesn’t settle in her bones immediately. It dances under her skin and slides along her spine the same way a hug from Kara from behind does. 

Kara hasn’t stopped smiling and Lena can’t stop loving it. She might try to send Kara dirty looks to get her to quit distracting her from the movie they switched over to and that she hasn't been paying attention to, but all her mean scowls turn into goofy grins and it’s utterly and completely unannoying and beguiling. 

Charlie leaves them for a short potty break and Kara wastes no time tilting Lena’s head back and kissing her breathless. Whenever Lena tries to kiss her back though, Kara’s smiling too widely for it to be effective. 

“You’re making it very difficult to kiss you,” Lena lodges her complaint over kisses to the corner of Kara’s mouth.

“Try harder,” Kara advises, never once opening her eyes or bothering to tame her grin. Lena accepts her challenge and grabs a fist full of Kara’s sweats, hoping to pull Kara around to straddle her after biting Kara’s lip then soothing it with her own and wipes the smile right off her face. Kara hears the quick stomps of their little girl and has to pull back before they’re discovered. 

“All clean!” Charlie announces, holding her little hands out for inspection. After getting double approval, she clasps her hands behind her back, swaying back and forth as Lena has seen Kara do many, many times before. “Can I have some popped corn?” 

She requests so sweetly that Lena cannot deny that little face. “Of course you can!” Lena gets off the couch even as Kara is reaching for Charlie to help her get back on it. Lena’s head turns quickly when she hears Kara gasp when she twists and sets off a mild spasm. 

Kara hides behind a smile that doesn’t come close to reaching her eyes. “I’m fine,” she fibs. “Just surprised me.”

Lena doesn’t buy it for a second. She doesn’t dismiss it, but she also doesn’t press Kara about it. She heads to the kitchen to make popcorn, pushing a hand into Kara’s hair and scratching her scalp for a moment as she walks past her. 

It’s not until Charlie is napping on the couch after devouring an entire bowl of popcorn on her own that Lena makes her move. She grabs Kara’s hand and pulls her off the couch and doesn’t let go, dragging Kara behind her and into her bedroom. 

Once they’re over the threshold, she turns on Kara and kisses her the way she’s been wanting to since she first woke up. 

Kara responds with equal fervor, her hands quickly burying themselves in Lena’s luscious waves before dropping down to grasp Lena’s curvy backside. After some mutual noises of approval, Lena turns them and walks Kara further into her room until the back of her knees hit the mattress, kissing and devouring each other along the way. Time stands still for a while as they continue kissing and touching and just being close. 

It’s impossible to ignore that they don’t know how long Charlie will nap. Could be an hour, could be three. They’re both conscious of this but it’s Lena that backs off first, but she doesn’t go far. Kara’s gone back to smiley mode and Lena responds in kind before placing her hands on Kara’s chest and pushing hard enough that Kara gets the idea and drops onto the bed with an exaggerated bounce. 

When Lena doesn’t immediately follow, Kara stretches up to pull Lena down for a kiss and reminds Lena what they’re really there for when she again gasps at a shooting pain. Lena lowers herself down to eliminate the need for Kara to stretch and kisses her much more tamely than she’s sure Kara has in mind. 

Kara. Who is so very distracting with her dangerously bright blue eyes that keep beckoning Lena closer and kiss swollen lips that she keeps running her tongue over as if she’s wanting to memorize the taste of Lena. 

Very distracting. 

Lena manages to discreetly clear her throat before issuing her command. 

“Take off your shirt and lie back.”

Kara’s eyes widen for a second before her hands fall to the hem of her hoodie. Without a word, and without a doubt one of the sexiest disrobes Lena’s ever witnessed, Kara pulls both hoodie and undershirt off in one fluid motion, dropping them over the side of the bed before laying back on the bed, propped up on her elbows. 

“Your turn,” Kara challenges, her eyes already making Lena feel more naked and desired than she’s ever felt before. 

She shakes off the shiver of desire but has to touch her own lips to prevent herself from kissing Kara. “You’re adorable. But this is about giving you a massage,” she clarified, snorting at Kara’s pout. 

“Why can’t we do both?” The damn grin has returned as Kara plots to convince her. “Seems only fair. I took mine off,” she points out before batting her damn eyelashes. 

Lena can feel the flush of her cheeks rising from her toes. Never one to back down, she raises an imperious brow and strips her own shirt off, tossing it in the general direction as Kara’s discarded items. She flashes a toothy grin before holding a finger up to tell Kara she’d be right back. She makes a beeline for the linen cabinet, returning with a stack of fluffy towels. 

“So we don’t get oil on the bed,” Lena explains as she places one towel flat on the bed for Kara to lay on. She twirls her finger in the air to direct Kara onto her stomach before folding two more towels to place on either side of Kara to help keep her from getting cold and a final towel gets rolled up and tucked under Kara’s forehead as a pillow. 

“Are you warm enough?” Lena's voice is soft and calming and Kara finds herself relaxing in spite of all the tension in her body and the feeling of being completely exposed in front of Lena with a thick scar going across half her lower back. Kara responds with a “mmhmm” as she settles more comfortably on the bed. 

She hears a whispered “be right back” as Lena visits her own room to retrieve a bottle of magnesium oil she never travels without. Prone to bruising easily with her fair complexion, she swore by the oil and all the benefits she learned that came with using it. 

Kara can hear Lena’s quick paces suddenly slow as she approaches the bed and sees Kara has removed her bra as well. 

“Thought it would make things easier,” she volunteers and Lena can hear the uncertainty in those few words. 

Kara only flinches a little when Lena touches her bare shoulder. “Kara? We don’t have to do this if you’re not comfortable. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that sooner. I hate seeing you in pain that _I know you’re in_ ,” she stresses before Kara can deny it. “I happen to give decent massages and just wanted to help,” Lena winds down her quick speech. “Touching you like this is an added bonus, though,” she concedes, making Kara shiver when she drags her nails lightly over Kara’s skin as she moves her hair out of the way. 

“No, it’s okay,” Kara assures, seeming less tense already now that Lena’s made it clear she can say no or ask Lena to stop and be secure in the knowledge that she’ll respect Kara’s wishes. “It just feels scary not to have my cape and for you to see my weakness. If that makes sense?” Kara rambles that last bit and then promptly shuts her mouth. 

“It does make sense. But I want you to know that weakness is the furthest thing that comes to mind when I think about you. You’ve always been the strongest person I know. And not just because you’re a Super.”

Lena moves to straddle Kara’s thighs, checking in with Kara before she begins. “Is this okay?”

“It’s nice,” Kara assures her. “Not as nice as it would be if I was allowed to turn over, though.” 

Lena can hear the mischief in Kara’s voice as she lightly smacks her shoulder. “I meant am I hurting your back or legs, _darling_!”

Kara pretends to be indignant when she makes a huffy noise, but she’s relaxed and soft when she gives Lena a genuine answer. “You’re not hurting me. Feels nice.”

“Okay,” Lena acknowledges, equally soft and relaxed. She squeezes some oil in her hands and rubs them together a few times to warm and coat them before she begins rubbing and kneading Kara’s neck and shoulders. “Tell me at any time you need me to stop, or to rub harder or softer,” she requests. 

“Feels perfect just like this,” Kara answers quietly, feeling herself slowly melt into Lena’s capable hands. 

“Why hasn’t this healed?” Lena’s voice is calm and soothing, but Kara can hear the concern in it as well. 

“We’re not sure,” Kara answers honestly. “It _did_ begin to heal at the time of the attack, but it left behind scar tissue which wouldn’t normally happen, but my body became so depleted I lost my powers for a while and interrupted the process. They think when they came back and I began to heal again, my cells didn’t recognize the scar tissue as damage so I didn’t heal properly.”

It was as good of a theory as any, Lena supposed, doing her best to focus on Kara and supporting her needs rather than sinking into how devastating she found the situation. “Does it bother you more here being further away from the sun?” Her thumbs press deliciously into the tissue on either side of Kara’s spine as she works her way down and back up again. She’ll focus on Kara’s lower back soon, but she wants all of her muscles relaxed before she does. 

“For sure. I barely notice it there. I’m reminded of it plenty here.” Kara pauses to let out a long appreciative sigh, expelling more tension from her body under Lena’s care. “We don’t absorb the energy here as efficiently as we do on Earth. I still have powers, but it’s not instinctual and automatic. I think that’s why I like it here. I feel more like _me_ , and not like some enhanced being and all the responsibilities that come along with those abilities.”

Kara emits a long string of praise under Lena’s hands, this time in Kryptonese and Lena only catches a word or two that sound familiar but she gets the gist of what’s being said. A language once feared to be dead sounded delightfully alive coming from Kara’s apparently dirty mouth and Lena couldn’t be more proud to have a hand or two in that. 

Lena has more questions, but her goal is to make Kara feel good, not interrogate her to satisfy her own curiosity. 

They’re quiet for a long time after that save for some soft questions about Lena’s technique or requests for her to rub harder or knead slower. 

“Where did you learn to do this?” Kara wonders, hovering in the ether between awake and sleep. She’s not even sure she verbalized her question until Lena begins speaking. 

“When I was training for the London Olympics, there was a physiotherapist for our team with the most amazing hands,” she explains.

There’s so much to unpack from that one sentence that it takes Kara a moment to process before she can respond. “You never told me you went to the Olympics!?”

Lena tsks at all her work to help Kara relax going out the window as the body beneath her hums with new excitement. Poor planning on her part. 

“It’s not all that exciting and I didn’t go, but if you can relax and be quiet, I’ll tell you the story.”

Kara laughs softly and takes a deep breath, letting the excitement bleed away. “Please proceed,” she requests. 

“After I won the women’s championship for epée, in college, I was invited to train with and earn a spot on the team preparing for the summer games. Before I made the team, Mother forced me to quit. The physiotherapist was one of the reasons why.”

“She didn’t want him tarnishing the Luthor name?” Kara ventures sympathetically. 

“Her.”

“Oh.”

Lena feels Kara’s spine growing more rigid and it makes her roll her eyes fondly. She leans over and lifts the hair covering the nape of Kara’s neck before sinking her teeth in just below the base of her skull. She knows she’s been successful in distracting Kara from being jealous, but may have done too good of a job.

Kara takes a shuddered breath and Lena has a struggle on her hands to keep Kara from flipping them over. “Shhhh,” she hovers over Kara’s ear, running her hands over Kara’s shoulders and down her arms to try to keep her calm. “Calm down. We’re meant to be relaxing, not fucking right now,” she reminds them both.

Kara’s breathing slows, but not quite back to normal and she curses again in Kryptonese. “Well when we _are_ meant to be fucking, I’m gonna need you to do that again,” Kara grouches. 

Lena can’t help the chuckle that escapes as she gets closer to Kara’s ear again. She doesn’t tease Kara too much this time and just whispers one word. “Noted.”

She sits back up and resumes working on each group of muscles in Kara’s back. When she reaches the area where Kara’s scar is, she checks in once more. She’s touched the area many times already as she’s been methodically working, but she wants to concentrate on it now. “Is it okay if I touch you here? I want to focus on your lumbosacral area.”

“It’s okay,” Kara tells her, trusting Lena completely. She hadn’t realized how tense her back muscles had become until Lena laid her hands on her and made her open back up. She gives an unexpected snort when she makes the connection that Lena has done the same thing to her heart. 

“What’s funny?” Lena wonders, doing something so wonderful with the heel of her hands that Kara moans involuntarily at how good it feels. She doesn’t forget to answer, just saves it for another time and Lena doesn’t ask again, just letting Kara enjoy what she’s doing. 

She spends more time concentrating on one area before easing off and moving to the other side. By the time she’s done there, she moves into the last stages of her massage and she knows Kara’s asleep, but she finishes anyway. 

She presses a kiss to her shoulder before covering up with the towels to keep her warm before carefully easing herself away. Kara doesn’t stir once. She picks their shirts and Kara’s bra off the floor and leaves everything but her own shirt within easy reach for Kara when she wakes up. After tidying up and a quick dressing, she checks on Charlie. 

She grabs the camera and takes a few pictures of Stew curled around Charlie’s head, seemingly taking over for watching over her while Lena and Kara were in the other room. 

Over soft kitty snores and the roar of the fireplace she can hear the wind gusting strongly outside along the rain pelting their steel sanctuary. 

She makes herself some tea and finds a good book and settles in next to Charlie and Stew, not wanting her to wake up without herself or Kara nearby. Half a cup of tea and several pages later, Lena succumbs to the slow paced day and drifts off. 

Later, when Kara wakes up and is able to stretch pleasantly and virtually pain free, she gets re-dressed and goes in search of her girls. 

The storm is still raging outside, but inside, there is so much warmth.

She finds all three of her girls on the couch. An open book on one of Lena’s legs and Charlie’s head on the other. Stew takes up the space at the small of Charlie’s back and doesn’t even raise her head when she hears Kara taking a few photos of them. 

She can’t wait to transfer them to the collection.


	8. The Days We Had

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone that’s interested, the wonderfully talented shelteredturtle created [THIS](https://sheltereredturtle.tumblr.com/post/621951121248960512/winter-song-by-cursedestlin-commission-for-anon) amazing art inspired by the Eskimo kisses in the last chapter. It’s SO fantastic, my friends! Please give it a look and some love!
> 
> Okay.. remember when I said Lena’s prescriptions weren’t going to be a big deal? ilied. 😬

Lena stood at the kitchen sink, filling her glass with water in preparation of taking her daily meds. It was a testament to how far she’s come that she’s willing to expose herself to Kara like this. She’s been open about taking them for more than a week and she knows Kara’s noticed. Of course she has. But thus far she’s respected Lena’s privacy and Lena loves her for that, but it’s also something she’d rather not have hanging over their heads. 

She wants things with Kara. She wants long term loving and parenting things alongside her. She wants her mental health _healthy_ and to stop worrying that it’s something she should hide or be ashamed of. Kara has to know all of this about her because she needs to decide if it’s something she can live with. Or not.

“It’s okay to ask,” she tells her, looking over her shoulder to see Kara look both surprised and relieved and hopeful all at the same time. 

Her alien comes closer, a hand casually brushing along the side of her neck before coming to rest just under the knot of her ponytail. Kara knows how Lena all but melts with a little pressure and the feeling of Kara playing with and lightly tugging her hair there. “Are you sure?”

Lena nods her head before unconsciously straightening her spine, steeling herself. 

“Is that a lot of pills to take?” Kara doesn’t have any concept of what’s a little or what’s a lot. Medication in general doesn’t have an effect on her unless she’s solar flared, and even then, it’s usually administered by injection. 

“It feels like a lot some days,” Lena admits, feeling a surge of anxiety that’s not going away. Kara reacts to her physical cues of stress and takes Lena into her arms and squeezes just hard enough for Lena to relax again. She rests her chin on Lena’s shoulder, peering over it and pointing to a small round pill, hoping it’s size meant it was the least scary of the seven pills in front of them. 

“What’s this one do?” Her tone is light and airy, trying to bolster Lena’s confidence without calling attention to it. It works. 

“That one is for high blood pressure because this one,” she points to a large oval tablet, “raises cholesterol and blood pressure.”

“If they cancel each other out why do you have to take them?”

Lena points to the oval tablet again. “Because that’s just a happy side effect. It’s main function is an antipsychotic to treat schizophrenia.” Lena pauses for a moment to swallow down the two pills they’ve just talked about. She notes with satisfaction that her nervous and shaking hands are barely noticeable when she points to another tablet and then a capsule. “This is for anxiety. This is for depression.” 

Those too disappear down Lena’s throat. 

“This one is to prevent my bones from thinning any further, this one is to keep my blood sugar steady and the last one is just a multivitamin.” 

Once all the pills are consumed everything seems to stop. All she can hear is Kara breathing beside her. It’s steady and peaceful and for a few seconds it’s comforting. But Kara doesn’t say anything for a few more seconds and it feels like an eternity of damnation. She nearly weeps with relief when Kara speaks. 

“Can I hug you?”

Kara’s arms are already loosely around her, but Lena knows what she means. She turns into Kara’s embrace and sinks into the bottomless well of hope, help and compassion for just her. 

There’s a steady stream of praise and comfort coming from Kara. Not just whispered words. It’s a multitude of kisses in her hair, her cheeks, her temple and her forehead and it’s the very best therapy money can’t buy. 

Kara takes a breath deep enough for the two of them and grasps Lena’s upper arms when she takes a step back. “Thank you for trusting me with this. I know that asking for help and getting it is huge and I can’t even imagine how hard it must have been. I’m so proud of you. I don’t know much about schizophrenia and what I do know about anxiety and depression doesn’t seem like enough. Let me change that so I can be the ally and support you deserve. What do you want me to know about your experience with them?”

Lena has thought about this very moment many times. Thought about what to say if she were given the chance that wouldn’t seem like she was trying to excuse the things she’d done. Thought about what to include and what wasn’t important. In the end, it was all important, though. She was going to take this opportunity, and she had to trust that she would be okay regardless of Kara’s reaction.

“I want you to know that I was in a bad place for a very long time. I felt myself making moral compromises back when he was sick and reached out to me for a cure while he was in prison, and I kept falling from there.” It made sense to Kara that Lena’s catalyst was influenced by the person that was most responsible for the abuse she faced.

“I didn’t know that there was anything better because I was delusional and I was passionately wrong about so many things. Things that destroyed what I had with you and made it so easy to be used as a pawn. I will never excuse what I did and I don’t want you to either. I _am_ better. I’ve had to prove to myself first that I’m not that person anymore and I never will be again. No matter what happens.”

Kara nods her head in understanding, looking at Lena with care and concern. “I have questions,” she admits, but doesn’t let her go. Doesn’t want Lena to doubt that she’s with her, but needs closure on two major things. 

“Ask them.” Lena knows what those questions are. Knows that no matter how finished Kara wants to be with everything that happened, there are a couple of things she’ll never fully get over because they’re the same things Lena isn’t over.

“You thought I slept with him.” It’s not a question. It’s not an accusation. It’s an assumption that hurt them both. 

“He smelled like you,” Lena answers sadly and with no small amount of shame. “We were all celebrating taking down Leviathan and I saw Alex pouring something blue into your drink all night. We were all drinking. It was the first time I’d ever seen him that drunk. It was the only time I’ve seen you drunk. I’m sure now it was all an act on his part and that he was just making the most out of an opportunity that presented itself, but it seemed believable and reasonable at the time. You kept looking at him -“

“Because the more drunk Alex got me, the more I wanted to rip his throat out for what he did to you, not tear his clothes off,” Kara interrupts abruptly, tension rolling off her momentarily before she squared her shoulders with the aid of a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. “I’m sorry. Go on,” she encourages with a nod of the head and a small smile meant to reassure Lena.

Lena understands better than anyone how the emotions of that night are still vivid and intense. Especially for Kara. She continues for both their sake. To let it see the light of day before they buried it for good. 

“He showed up at my apartment a few hours later looking bewildered and confused as if he couldn’t believe what had just happened. All pretend now, I know. But he smelled like you. Like he’d been _close_ to you. And I didn’t know how to react any differently to that.” Lena is clearly struggling to explain her frame of mind as she continues. 

“When you used to hug me before everything happened, I could smell you on my clothes and on my skin and I loved it. I loved the reminder that I was carrying a little bit of Kara Danvers around with me.” Lena took advantage of Kara still holding her, eliminating the small distance between them and so thankful Kara’s arms came up without hesitation to hold her. She breathes in the fresh scent of fabric softener, deodorant and Kara’s skin. The laundry scent is different, the deodorant not the same either, but Kara’s skin? That’s the scent her memory confirms is no less intoxicating and addicting now as it was then. She fills her lungs with it one more time before drawing back. 

“He told a story that I’m not going to repeat and it seemed believable enough and I was so hurt and betrayed by my own feelings for you and jealous. So jealous that I didn’t question it because I couldn’t bear to hear the details. I was fueled by that for a long time,” Lena admits, her voice giving out. She put a hand out to stop Kara when Kara moved to hold her again but she couldn’t be comforted. Not until Kara knew everything. 

“He played the wounded one night stand card. He never pretended he had feelings for you. Just adamant and excited when news spread of your pregnancy that the baby was his. And of course you weren’t going to let a Luthor near you or Charlie with a ten foot pole, so he shifted into the role of a victim, wanting to be a father and help raise her and you were unfairly going to keep the baby from him and accuse him of rape when he’d convinced me it was just two consenting enemy adults that were too drunk to realize the consequences of what they were doing.”

She grabs a paper towel and mops at her eyes and nose as a deflection for the pain she sees in Kara’s eyes. She has to see this through. 

“He knew that I was sick almost from the moment he woke up on Earth Prime.”

Kara feels her stomach twist and heart race to the floor. Finding out that Lex knew Lena wasn’t in her right mind breaks her heart and enraged her. He knew and used it. Chewed his sister up and spat her out to do his bidding.

“He had three independent professional assessments, all saying the same thing. That I was delusional. That I was exhibiting signs of schizophrenia and susceptible to manipulation. He was counting on me to believe and defend the lies he told me, including testifying against you,” Kara can hear the pain in her voice even as the memory of Lena taking the stand against her still aches, but not the way it used to. She used to mourn and rage against Lena’s betrayal. Now she rages and mourns _for_ Lena. 

“I told you I cracked the code on his journals? That was only because after my visit to the gynecologist, I was paranoid he was playing me the entire time.” The irony is not lost on Kara that the very illness Lex used Lena for is the thing that helped prove his betrayal. 

“What I found was almost everything was detailed in black and white.” Lena shrugs, remembering how helpless and hopeless she felt at the time. “That’s how I found out I was crazy.”

“Lena,” Kara utters in despair as she crushes Lena against her chest, knocking the wind out of her for a second. 

“No! You are brave and smart and so good, Lena. You are!” Kara fiercely insists at Lena’s denial. “The way you love our daughter? The way you love me? The Luthor’s were never worthy of you. Me and Charlie know what we’ve got and we’re not letting you go. You are not crazy. You were abused and discarded and used for so long,” Kara lowers her head in disgust and anger at herself for not seeing it. When she raises her head again, it’s with determination and a steel in her words that won’t be broken. “Never again. I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again,” Kara vows, her body forming a protective barrier between Lena and the world when Lena sinks into her space.

Kara doesn’t have any more questions for Lena. Knows more than she needs to know. She made the right choice in trusting Lena now and she hates that she gave up on her then. Just as Lena was hurt and betrayed, Kara was, too. One mastermind had almost succeeded in permanently destroying them all. 

_Almost._

Lena is a little shy but more needy of Kara’s presence and touch throughout the day. Kara is quick to provide it, but it’s not casual affection she radiates. It’s intense, thoughtful and every move is made to heal and protect and she doesn’t know how to turn it off and wouldn’t if she could. 

The feeling is mutual as Lena spots Kara through one of the windows, pulling around a couple of trees downed from the storm behind her like they’re twigs and not mature sixty foot giants. Kara was sad to discover them during their walk after the storm, but already had plans to use a couple of them to replenish the wood pile. 

Lena watches Kara use her laser vision to cut the trees into manageable lengths for the fireplace. It’s quick and efficient and in no time she stacks a few logs on top of each other. Supergirl leaps into the air and slams down fist first and turns the stack into splintered kindling. 

It’s an impressive display of power and Lena feels a little heated for it. But that’s nothing compared to what she does next. 

There’s a perfectly good axe and chainsaw leaned up against a large stump, but Kara didn’t touch the chainsaw, and it seemed like she wasn’t going to bother with the axe for splitting the wood either. No. That would just be in her way. 

The same hands that pick Charlie up and toss her effortlessly in the air and catch her softly are smashing log after log. 

The same fingers that touch Lena with so much tenderness and love are burying themselves in the middle of solid wood and ripping it into chunks and making Captain America’s movie trick pale in comparison to the real thing. 

Lena is more than a little excited by this, unabashedly watching with her eyes wide and her jaw loosened to the point of gaping. 

Log after log meets the same demise and soon enough, Kara’s standing in the middle of enough firewood to last an Alaskan winter. It’s not until Kara grabs another log and pauses instead of ripping it apart that Lena realizes there’s a problem. 

Kara hugs the sizable log to her chest, her shoulders rising and falling rapidly as she grits her teeth and tries not to cry. 

Lena abandons her post and rushes to the nearest door, slowing down only when she’s spotted by Kara who guiltily tosses the log aside. 

“I’m okay,” she lies as Lena approaches. “I’m good, I promise,” she tries again, betrayed by the fat splash of a tear hitting her flannelled chest. 

Lena doesn’t say anything at first. Merely takes Kara’s hands in hers and turns them palm up so she can inspect the damage. Her hands are a canvas of abrasion. Bloodied and scraped and looking like she used the chainsaw as a nail file. Lena watches as they begin to heal before her eyes, her concern still in place even when the hands in hers return to perfect flesh once more. 

“I’m okay,” Kara tried again, this time not even remotely succeeding in sounding confident. 

Lena gives her a look that tells her she’s not buying it as she kisses each newly healed palm in turn. “It’s okay if you’re not. I reopened a lot of old wounds this morning. Let me be there for you the same way you are for me.”

Kara folds her fingers around Lena’s hands, drawing them to her chest for safe keeping. “I’m not crying for me, I’m crying for you,” Kara explains. “I’m ov-“ she shakes her head. She’s not over it. She tries again. “I’ve accepted what happened to me. I’ve made peace that I can’t change it and that it brought me the greatest adventure and happiness I’ll ever know. What I _haven’t_ accepted yet is what he did to you and I’m so hurt and **angry** that I don’t quite know what to do with all that that doesn’t involve calling down some fifth dimensional friends to resurrect him so I can put my hands on him.”

“You don’t mean that,” Lena reasons with her.

“I do,” Kara insists. 

“You don’t. Because as satisfying as it sounds, it just means he’s won and succeeded in taking away the values that make up who you are. And who I’m trying to be.”

Kara knows this, but hearing it come from Lena makes the difference between ignoring reason and accepting the comfort Lena was offering. Some of the anger bleeds out of Kara, her shoulders slowly relaxing. 

“We’ve both worked too hard independently to overcome what’s happened and look at how far we’ve come. Together, we’re going to go even further. A Super and a Luthor,” Lena steps closer, resting her forehead against Kara’s. 

“No. Lena and Kara,” Kara corrects, closing her eyes and smiling when Lena pulls back just to kiss her forehead and then her lips.

There’s banging on a window that lets them know they have an audience. “And Charlie,” Lena amends, her shoulders shaking silently as she laughs at their daughter making a ruckus to get their attention. 

“I’ll go,” Lena gestured vaguely towards the house with her thumb, knowing Kara still needs a little time. 

“I’ll be in soon,” Kara whispers, cupping the back of Lena’s neck to draw her in for a kiss that Lena is all too happy to return. 

“I want a kiss, too!!” Charlie’s muted complaint has them both chuckling and looking at their precocious girl. Lena holds her finger up to tell her she’ll be right there in just a second. She steals a glance at Kara, relieved to see her looking much calmer than she found her. She snakes an arm around her waist and whispers in Kara’s ear that she loves her and pecks her cheek before heading inside. She doesn’t have to turn around to know that Kara’s watching her the whole time, or that she’s still smiling, but she glances over her shoulder anyway. 

The smile has faded when she finds Lena folding laundry and Charlie “helping” her a while later, but when she wordlessly pulls Lena into her arms and holds her there, Lena knows she’s going to be okay. Breathing in the strong smell of wood and tree sap and hard work and Kara’s skin? She knows they’re all going to be okay. 

Lena manages to get Charlie to bed early that night while Kara gathers and organizes empty bins in the back of the trailer for the exchange the next day.

It’s been a tough day and they’ve both been contemplative and a little quiet as they muddle through things, yet abundant in their support for each other.

Nonetheless, it felt good to Kara to finish the day with a little more physical activity even if it wasn’t taxing on her to help clear out the remaining residual negativity. She’s feeling better by the time she heads to her room and stops in her doorway when she sees her bed is missing someone. 

Kara backtracks a few steps and taps quietly on Lena’s door. There’s a soft answer to come in and Kara does so, closing the door behind her and crouches beside the bed where Lena is propped up on pillows and has been staring at the same set of pages for the last hour. 

She gives Kara a curious smile, reflexively reaching out and running the back of her fingers along Kara’s cheek. “What’s up?”

Kara cocks her head quizzically. “You tell me. Do you need some time to yourself tonight? It’s okay if you do,” Kara promises. “But I was really looking forward to holding you,” she admits. 

Lena puts the book aside and immediately regrets it since now she has nothing to do with her hands but fidget. “I didn’t want to assume,” Lena begins, cut off by Kara’s scoff.

They’ve been sharing Kara’s bed since the night Lena walked in to watch movies with her. Why Lena was worried she wouldn’t still be welcome now is beyond Kara.

“Assume, Lena. Or ask me,” Kara lightly scolds. “You’re a part of this relationship, too. Communicate your needs. They’re important to me. I don’t want to be alone after a day like today, but I understand if it’s too much for you. If you genuinely would rather be by yourself tonight, I’ll kiss you goodnight and go. But I don't think that’s what you want, is it?”

Lena is grateful that Kara finds her so transparent these days. Especially this day. “No. I want you. I _always_ want you,” she tells her truthfully.

Kara can’t help smiling as she bends down and presses her lips to Lena’s. “Thank Rao. Just keep talking to me, okay?” 

“Can’t. Someone keeps kissing me,” Lena mumbles with lips still pressed against hers even as she’s pulling Kara down and across her lap to sit. 

Puffs of air brush against Lena’s lips as Kara chuckles. “Want me to stop?” 

“No.”

They trade kisses for a while and Lena's hands fall to the hem of Kara’s shirt and it takes only a second before Kara leans back slightly and tugs it over her head, letting it get lost in the sheets and blankets. She likes this new height advantage she has over Lena while sitting in her lap. Likes that she can control the kisses and their pace. Keeps them sweet and shallow until nails rake down her back and then it’s a dance for control. 

It doesn’t just go from zero to sixty. It _starts_ at sixty and rockets from there. Lena’s shirt follows Kara’s and Kara is beyond delighted that there’s no bra to contend with. Her hands mold to the breasts she’s becoming increasingly familiar with since Lena started sleeping in her bed. While they hadn’t gotten around to the sex yet, they certainly hadn’t been shy, left any room for Jesus or slept with their hands folded primly on top of the covers, either. 

Lena surges forward and advances on Kara, laying her back on the bed and crawling over her. Her hands fall to the button and zipper on Kara’s jeans and she muddles her way through distracting kisses until she’s got them loose enough to pull off. “Up,” she encourages, and Kara’s hips raise off the bed and they start a new pile of discarded clothing on the floor. 

She palms the flesh of Kara’s backside, posessively kneading and rubbing and Kara keeps arching into her and neither of them have any doubts about what they’re going to do because it’s about fucking time they were together this way. Ten years past when they should have gotten together, in fact.

“No one has ever loved me the way you do,” Lena tells Kara later, in awe of what’s happened between them. Not just tonight with the physical acts of love and worshipping each other’s bodies, but how Kara takes care of her heart now, too. 

“I can’t believe I’m the one that’s lucky enough to do it,” Kara tells her earnestly, trying and failing to keep her eyes open as Lena draws her hand up and down her back, soft and steady like the heartbeat under her ear. 

“Took us long enough,” Lena smiles at Kara’s inelegant snort of what she thinks is agreement. She maybe pushed Kara hard the last round. 

Worth it.

Lena sits up as much as she can with Kara lying on her to grab at the sheets, pulling them up and over their rapidly cooling bare skin. 

Kara’s only response is a drawn out “Mmmmm,” that ends in some croaky sounds when she runs out of steam. 

“Did I wear you out?” Lena tries and fails to stifle a yawn. She didn’t know what time it was but the pleasant ache in long unused muscles told her they’d been going at it for quite a while. She knew they needed to get at least a little sleep for the long drive ahead of them in the morning but Kara’s soft grip on her breast is tightening again and so is everything else and she doesn’t think they’ll be sleeping anytime soon. 

She loves being right. 

Hours later they’re both bleary eyed and soft smiles. They try to keep their hands off each other as they make enough coffee for two full thermoses plus their regular morning intake. 

Lena is fairly certain that the most sleep they got was when Kara was slumped against her while she was sitting on the counter and they were waiting for the coffee to brew. 

Again. Worth it. 

Once they woke Charlie, her excitement helped energize them. In just thirty days they’d experienced some heartbreaking news, some wonderful developments and an addition to their family unit. Today they were taking a day trip and the normal mundane supply exchange became an event. 

For Lena, it would be her first time experiencing anything outside of the homestead she’d fallen in love with and she was anxious to get on the road. 

For Kara and Charlie, it was their chance to show off the unique planet they were inhabiting, and the fact that they got to do so for someone they were both wildly enamoured with? That made it all the more exciting. 

Kara places their heavy jackets and some last minute items in the cargo area, the keys for the homestead (including their vehicle) hanging between her teeth when she feels Lena sliding a hand in her back pocket for a friendly squeeze. 

“Keys, please?” Lena held her other hand under Kara’s chin, catching them as Kara released them from her bite and grinned when she was rewarded with a kiss on the cheek. She thought nothing of it until she realized Lena was getting behind the wheel and quickly finished what she was doing to jog over to the open drivers door. She leaned expectantly against it and peered at Lena.

“Whatcha doin’?” 

“Driving?” Lena watched Kara’s brows raise in question. “What?”

“I didn’t know you knew how.”

Lena gave The Look. The same look that had caused Morgan Edge’s testicles to shrivel all the way up to his nostrils. The fact that she did it with mirrored aviator sunglasses on made it strangely and incredibly arousing. 

“Yes you did. I’m the one that drove us to L.A. for a JT concert, remember?”

Kara remembers alright. She blinks twice, her mouth gaping like a fish momentarily before answering. “Uhh. I remember ripping the front spoiler off your very pretty Mercedes,” she recollects smugly. 

Thanks to Kara’s experience in journalism, she has no problem assigning _glowering_ as the word best describing Lena’s current expression. 

“Those curbs were designed too low for European automobiles and you know it! That was not my fault,” Lena hissed. 

“And then you backed slash rammed into a pole in a parking lot,” Kara went on, unphased. “There were three camera angles to look at on the screen in front of you and lots of flashing red warnings.”

“My heel slipped!”

“You weren’t wearing heels!”

Lena was a terrible driver. It was a fact. Just not one that anyone dared to point out, usually. 

“Are you getting in or not?” It was a bluff and they were both perfectly aware of that. It wasn’t like she was going to leave Kara behind when she was the only one that had actually driven on this planet. Plus, their kid was in the car. 

“Good thing there’s no curbs on this planet and we’re already swapping vehicles out,” Kara muttered loud enough for Lena to hear, making a show of double checking that Charlie’s car seat was firmly anchored and buckled properly before making an even bigger show checking if Lena’s seat belt was fastened and in the optimal position, which mostly translated into Kara blatantly fondling Lena’s chest while she moved the seat belt around a few times. When she was finished, she tapped her lips, indicating what she wanted. 

Lena’s cool CEO scowl was firmly in place when she leaned closer, but her lips were warm and tasted a bit like the mango lip balm she appropriated from Kara’s jacket pocket that very morning. “Thief,” Kara accused affectionately, pressing in for another kiss and another after that when Lena snagged the neck of her shirt and pulled her back in. Sated for the moment, she climbed into the backseat beside Charlie since the front passenger door was inoperable. Kara sealed the broken window with plastic, but that was the extent of the repairs she could make. 

“You've pulled a trailer before, right?” Kara wondered when they pulled out of the garage with a lurch that pitched everyone against their seat restraints instead of gentle and smooth acceleration. 

“It can’t be that hard to figure out, Kara,” was the testy response she received. Mom and daughter exchanged “uh-oh” expressions before settling in for the long ride. 

“Just follow the heading on the screen?” Lena called out the moment just before they bottomed out in a particularly low dip in the “road” thanks to the recent storm and the trailer bounced mercilessly. 

“Yes. ..Please try not to hit anything, babe.” She caught Lena’s eye in the rear view mirror, smiling and making what Alex would grouchily describe as “heart shaped eyes”. 

“Precious cargo,” Lena said quietly, knowing both occupants in the backseat would hear her. 

It was good that there was no other traffic and the driving surface was pretty much flat as Lena spent far too long gazing back and returning the aforementioned heart shaped eyes, evident in spite of her sunglasses. 

Driving gave Lena’s thoughts time to drift and reminisce the last few days.

In the aftermath of the storm (measured as a category 4 with their equipment when it reached them) the relationship between them had evolved into something intimate and familial. 

They took a walk around the homestead in the evening after the storm passed, taking note of what was damaged and what needed cleaned up or repaired the next day. Charlie walked between them most of the time, little arms outstretched and her hands secure with each of her mom’s, the middle link of their chain. They didn’t let her venture too far away by herself, but when she did run ahead, Lena and Kara quickly gravitated to each other’s side. Sometimes holding hands, other times linking arms. But always connected. 

After everything major was cleaned up and back in order two days ago, they spent the afternoon in the sunny yard, watching and sometimes participating in Charlie splashing and playing in giant mud puddles. 

She made quite the sight. Mud smeared across her bare legs, her shorts, her shirtless torso, her cheeks.. chunks of mud in her hair. Bath time was an adventure even after they hosed her down before going indoors. 

The mothers stood shoulder to shoulder, observing and waiting to see what Charlie’s next move would be in front of a VW Bug sized puddle. 

Charlie stood in a recognizable stance that Lena’s witnessed Supergirl take several times. Fists clenched and held against her hips, an old towel tied around her shoulders as a makeshift cape unfurled with the breeze, she eyes the mud appraisingly if not critically. 

“See if you can jump over it!” Kara challenges, holding the camera steady and aimed at their mud magnet. 

“Go around it to the smaller ones,” Lena counters. Ever practical. 

“Lame!” Kara whispers loud enough for the mic to pick up, giggling when Lena’s shoulder crashed against hers. 

Charlie does neither. She breaks into a familiar grin that’s an exact copy of Kara’s before proclaiming “oh, for heaven's sake!” 

Kara snorts and Lena gasps as Charlie jumps, kicks her legs out in front of her and lands butt first in the deepest part of the puddle with a flat sounding whump, triumphant in all her mud covered glory. 

“Where did she even hear that?” Lena wonders, laughing and doubling over at their daughters antics. 

“I have no idea!” Kara wipes a stray tear away that’s accumulated from laughing so hard. 

Lena can’t contain her grin at that fresh memory and at the one they’re currently making. Kara’s reading aloud to Charlie, her cadence smooth as she conveyed the excitement in the story. She follows along, laughing at Kara’s voices and at the same parts as Charlie and Kara, asking questions about this and that and just .. a part of and included in the activity instead of watching from the outside. 

Kara’s boots came off almost as soon as they pulled out of the garage and she managed to fit her leg between the driver seat and the center console, a foot pressed against Lena’s thigh. It’s oddly endearing that Kara can’t even go for a car ride without finding some way to touch her and she would be terribly sad if Kara’s foot went away, truth be told. 

A couple hours and many miles later finds Kara and Charlie both napping as early morning sunlight streamed through the back window and Lena regretting the now empty thermos that used to hold coffee. She supposed the nice thing about a planet with no roadway was that she didn’t have to wait for an off ramp or exit. She merely needed to slow to a gradual stop. Kara would have praised the care and improvement in her braking skills had she been awake. Truth be told, her full bladder had more say over the gentle braking than any acquired skill or finesse. 

Kara and Charlie both slept through her energetic exodus from the vehicle and when she returned a few minutes later she resolved to find a few minutes with Kara before waking Charlie. 

Opening the car door beside Kara, she reached in to smooth golden hair behind her ear hoping that would do the trick. 

Seconds later, enviously long lashes flutter open and Kara turns her head and blinks sleepily at her. Lena’s entire being warms when Kara takes a literal gasp of delight at seeing her standing there. She’s about to say something when Lena shakes her head and presses an index finger to her lips. 

Kara catches on quickly and moves silently to the edge of the seat and then out the door and follows behind Lena when she takes her hand and leads them away from the car. Once they’re far enough away to make a little noise, they stop. There’s a sparse canopy of trees overhead and the air smells of something familiar like pine, but not quite. 

“Hi! Everything okay?” Kara questions, warmed by Lena’s affectionate gaze. 

“It’s fine. I just wanted a moment with you,” Lena smiles shyly, her cheeks pinking nicely. 

“I see.” Kara radiated happiness, opening her arms in clear invitation and swiftly wraps Lena up when she steps into them. Lena noses along Kara’s throat, then her jaw, a sigh of relief escaping when Kara finds her lips for a kiss. 

Kara might not be able to endure a car ride without touching her, but Lena can’t go more than two hours without kissing her. 

“Wish we could have stayed in bed,” Kara tells her, hugging her tightly after their kiss. 

“Me too,” Lena agrees, a shiver passing through her body at the cooler temperature. 

“Cold? The temp is gonna drop quite a bit more the closer we get to the portal.” Kara rubs Lena’s arms to warm her when she snuggles against her. 

“I’ll grab my jacket in a minute.” Lena tips her head back and gives Kara a hopeful look. She’s needing another hit of Kara before they pile back in the car. 

Kara happily complies and they very nearly get carried away when Kara backs Lena up against a sturdy looking tree and slides her hands up Lena’s rib cage to lace covered breasts.

There’s zero protest but they both know they can’t go any further and it leaves them both a little breathless and a lot frustrated. 

Kara makes an exaggerated pouty face that has Lena smiling and restraining herself from kissing it away. Later, she promises herself.

“Want me to drive for a bit?” Kara offers, swinging their hands between them as they make their way back. 

“Depends. How’s your back feeling?” Lena wonders seriously, keeping an eye on Kara as she answers. 

“Pretty good,” Kara answers honestly. Who knew having her foot up and pressed against Lena had the additional benefit of taking most of the pressure off her lower back. “But I’m still going to need a massage later,” she quickly added, not wanting to lose out on Lena’s hands on her. 

“Of course,” Lena nodded, failing at keeping her smile in check. She nods towards the adorable head of wavy curls she can see peeking out from her car seat. “Should we wake her up and let her run around?”

“Definitely.” She lets Lena do the honors while she retrieves their jackets and some snacks from the back. 

“Charlie? Wake up, babygirl,” Lena calls out to their daughter, lightly scratching Charlie’s tummy when she stretches in her chair before her eyes focus on Lena. 

“Are we there yet?” Charlie’s little hands move to help Lena get her unbuckled from her seat and then she’s getting a big squeeze and kiss once she’s free. 

“Not yet. Maybe another hour,” Lena tells her, taking Charlie’s jacket from Kara’s outstretched hand and helping Charlie get into it. Once she’s zipped up, Charlie and Kara go find the little girls room while Lena organizes the snacks Kara left out. 

It’s obvious Kara and Charlie have a routine worked out when they return from the walk and Charlie eyes the hot cocoa Lena poured for her. “You forgot mushmellows.”

“It’s tradition,” Kara explains, finding them and putting some in each cup, including Lena’s. 

“Well, now I know,” Lena smiles, happy to be in the know. “Any other traditions I should know about?”

Kara and Charlie look to each other, trying to remember if there’s anything else special about their routine that Lena needed to be advised on. 

“Baby Shark?” Charlie suggests and Lena slightly recoils. Kara tries not to laugh outright. 

“You’re right! It _is_ almost Baby Shark time!”

“Is it?” Lena wonders hesitantly, her teeth not quite clenched, but touching as she replies.

“Hey. If I can survive it, you can too,” Kara promises and it’s not at all encouraging. 

It’s not that Lena hates the song, per se. It's horribly catchy and it was even cute the first hundred times. It’s just that she’s heard, danced and sang to it no less than one thousand times in the last thirty days and it’s beginning to feel a little more threatening than non nocere, honestly. 

Everyone survives the rest of the journey to the portal and after they remove their personal belongings from the vehicle and are bundled up, Kara scoops them up and flies them a safe distance away to wait for the exchange to happen. 

Kara digs a pair of high powered binoculars out of a bag and Lena’s face lights up with delight. She can get a better look at what’s going to happen. 

Right on time (according to Kara) the portal begins to glow a shimmery blue and a few seconds later a vehicle emerges with their monthly supplies pulled behind it in another trailer. It pulls even with the abandoned vehicle and the driver gets out, jumps into their old suv and drives back through the portal. The portal doesn’t even flicker, just goes silent when the blue disappears. 

The entire thing took less than sixty seconds and Lena has to admit that the whole thing went so smoothly it was rather anticlimactic. 

“That’s it?”

“Well, yeah. What were you expecting?” Kara wondered, gathering up their belongings in preparation of flying them back. 

Lena shrugged, unsure herself. “I don’t know. Just something.. more?”

“Like the ol’ razzle dazzle?” Kara smirked, pretending to be wounded when Lena scowled impressively. She picks up Charlie and hands her off to Lena. “Ready to go home?” She holds her arms out and Lena holds Charlie tightly against her chest as she takes a step forward and Kara whisks her off her feet and pushes off the ground gently and heads towards the portal. 

It does not escape Lena’s attention that Kara casually references home as a place where Lena is desired and welcomed. But she thinks, with Charlie in her arms, and Kara holding them both, that she already is home.


	9. Loving, Leaving

“Mama!” Charlie’s voice carried through the monitoring system, in search of one parent. 

“What?” The reply is muted from several rooms away. 

“Mamaaa!!” 

Kara appeared at the edge of the room, a pair of tiny jeans in the process of folding in her hands. “Gracious, child! What?”

Lena watches the entire exchange wordlessly from her spot on the floor where they’re surrounded by Charlie’s new mega pack of dinosaurs, a Supergirl action figure and half a dozen tie fighters and x-wings. It’s unclear what the leather recliner in the corner did to upset the battle hardened pilots and warriors of Charlie’s Glam Jam, but they’re definitely kicking its ass. 

“Come playyyy!”

“I will!” Kara promises. “Can I finish folding your wardrobe first?”

“No.”

Kara looks slightly affronted as she looks to Lena for support. 

“You heard the lady,” Lena offers with the quirk of her brow. 

Outnumbered, Kara tosses the jeans on the couch and drops onto the thick rug beside them. “Fine. But don’t be thinking you both can just push me around anytime you like,” she warns, claiming the tie fighter with the glittery custom orange paint job. 

“That’s mine,” Charlie plucks it out of Kara’s hand and replaces it with a drab and dirty white x-wing. 

“Oh, sorry,” Kara apologizes, shooting Lena a dark look when she has to press her lips firmly together to keep from smiling widely at their bossy daughter making sure Kara knows who’s in charge. 

“You were saying?” Lena slyly taunts.

“Pew-pew, pew!” Kara shoots down Lena’s fighter, much to Charlie’s amusement and Lena’s dismay. “That’s what you get when .. you.. cross with the horns..?” Even Charlie looks unsure about that one.

Lena looks all too happy to inform her, “You are far too pure for trash talk, my love.” 

“So? I’m good at other things,” Kara fumbles along, not really caring about anything other than the schoolgirl crushing she was doing since Lena called her _my love_.

“Yes, you are.” There’s a dangerous glint in Lena’s eye that tells Kara she’s perfectly aware of the term of endearment. Perfectly aware and proud. 

It’s that look that gets Lena pinned on top of the washer as Kara pushes her headlong into a second orgasm in less time than it takes to bake a potato in the microwave. 

There’s a smug “who’s your daddy?” quip on the tip of Kara’s tongue that Lena only just prevents her from saying. “Do not.” Her expression says it anyway. 

Kara helps her sit up and lets her cool down against her, fingers idly playing against her skin and in her hair. 

“Do you think we have too much sex?” Kara ventures out of the blue. 

Lena draws back still out of breath, still in a euphoric haze. “What?” There’s a slight panic gripping her. What is Kara really saying? That it’s not working out for her? That she doesn’t like being with Lena.. like _this_?

“We do it a lot.” That was a fair statement. Since the sex barrier had been sucsessfully breached just days ago, they were stealing moments and chasing orgasms several times a day and most of the night.

“We do,” Lena acknowledged, suddenly feeling exposed and self conscious about her current state of undress. She tugs her underwear and jeans back into place and puts some distance between them and falls back into old habits. “I apologize. Perhaps I pressured us into something you’re uncomfortable with.”

Kara’s neck muscles strain in protest. “What? No! No, Lena. That’s not..” She shakes her head to get her words back in order. “I love being with you like this. Rao. I really do. I want you _all the time_. Kal tried to tell me how much better it is here, but I had no idea.”

Lena blanches at the mention of Kal-El and Kara discussing their private lives. She gets it. She does. They’re both alien and are mostly indestructible and that’s certain to have an impact on ones sex life. It’s just not something about the Man of Steel she ever pictured herself hearing about. 

“Maybe you should start over and tell me what’s on your mind and then we can circle around to you and Kal comparing notes,” Lena suggests, trying to stem an imminent freak out. 

Her hands grip Kara’s shoulders when she moves to get down and Kara automatically lifts her and deposits her beside her. She contemplated moving them to a room where the air wasn’t heavy with the energy of what they were just doing, but this room also has a baby monitor in it and they can hear Charlie happily entertaining herself and Stew, so they stay put. 

“It actually has to do with what Kal said. This planet is the best of both worlds,” Kara begins. “On Earth, sex with humans is dangerous and requires so much self restraint and control so we don’t hurt our partner that it takes a lot of the intimacy away from it because we _can’t_ let go and just be with them. I don’t know about Kal, but sex on Earth for me was never all that great.”

Lena nods in growing comprehension and deep sadness. Kara was so lovable and thrived under Lena’s touch. To know that she simply went without meaningful, or even casual sexual companionship for so long? It must have been unbearably lonely for her at times. She makes a point of holding one of Kara’s hands in hers, aimlessly tracing each finger and each line of her palm just to keep them connected. 

“So if you weren’t with a partner with equal or greater abilities, it was just something for their benefit. Physically and emotionally.”

“Exactly,” Kara admits frankly. “And that’s okay, but it’s also-“ She makes a face that illustrates she doesn’t know how to phrase the next bit politely. 

“It’s really nice to come,” Lena pulls the bandaid off for her. She can do that now because she knows Kara’s more than enjoying herself with her and understands her question better now. All five of her senses can testify that Kara is not feeling left out sexually with her. The way Kara all but chases her down for kisses and touches broadcasts her hunger and desire for Lena.

“Yes,” she breathes out, relieved to be understood. The way she looks at Lena, pupils blown, pulse visibly thrumming just under her jaw on the oh so kissable side of her throat and openly desperate for her has Lena standing a little taller, smiling a little brighter. 

“On Argo, we don’t have any powers. And while *I* haven’t done anything on my home planet, Kal has. Even so, I think I still fully understand what he was trying to say.” Lena smiles at how shy Kara is getting. She resists the urge to coo and comfort her, but only just. 

“I can feel you here,” Kara reveals softly, as if it’s a confession. To illustrate this point she pulls her hand away only to let her fingertips glide under the hem of Lena’s shirt, grazing the soft skin along Lena’s sides and she can _feel_ the rise of goosebumps with the pads of her fingers and it makes her feel so wonderfully alive and full she can hardly contain it. 

“I can feel and touch and hear and taste and be with you every step of the way and still have my powers but not be overwhelmingly scared I’m going to lose control and hurt you, or worse. It’s everything. But it’s only everything because it’s with you,” she asserts, hoping Lena is understanding what she’s so badly trying to say.

The wave of mutual emotions has Lena looking to be at a loss for words, so Kara takes it upon herself to make her feelings clear. The first brush of her lips is tender as it is teasing for more, coaxing Lena along into something much deeper than just a kiss. 

“You and Charlie. You’re everything to me,” Lena noses along Kara’s jaw, her teeth finding and sinking into the pulse point, unwilling and unable to break their emotional connection until she has the courage to pose Kara’s earlier question back at her. “Do _you_ think we have too much sex?”

Kara quickly shakes her head. “I don’t. But I want you all the time,” she repeats, her voice slightly shaky, but strong once more. “I’ve never felt like this and I feel like a bad mom for all the wicked, wicked things I want to do with Charlie’s other mother.”

That certainly has Lena’s attention. “Like what?” She can’t help it if her voice is seductive and sweet and makes Kara groan in obvious horny discomfort. “Parents are allowed to have sex, honey. And we’re really good at it,” she states confidently. 

“The sex, or the parenting?” Kara cheekily wonders.

“Both,” Lena gives her an exasperated and playful kiss. “Charlie is not neglected and has our attention and love whenever she wants it. You’re not a bad parent. You don’t know how to be a bad parent,” she assures her. 

“We have the unique situation of no outside interference. No family dropping by. No villain planning to take over the city. No articles to hurry and complete. No press conferences to survive with another assaination attempt.” Kara frowns and growls from somewhere deep in her chest, unamused by that last example. Lena patiently takes Kara’s right hand in hers and directs it to her chest, letting Kara feel the heartbeat under her fingers. “It’s just us. We should take advantage of that more often, I think.”

Kara regards her solemnly for a moment even as her hand drops down and slides right to cup Lena’s breast. “So what you’re saying is we don’t have enough sex.”

Lena’s eyes sparkle with mischief and intent. “Yes. That is exactly what I’m saying.” The words have barely left her mouth when Kara descends upon her, stealing her breath and caressing her heart in one devastating kiss. 

Kara might not be experienced with long term romantic relationships, but she’s navigating remarkably well while Lena struggles with the knowledge that she’s not the best with relationships in general. 

She can admit she’s prickly at best. Cold and distant at worst. Particularly since she knows that Kara is it for her. Even if things don’t work out, which will gut her, she knows she will survive even as she knows she will always want her. 

Maybe it’s simply _because_ Kara’s who she wants for all time that she spends so much time exploring and touching, both mesmerized and memorizing the dips and planes of Kara’s body. Night after glorious night after Charlie is safely tucked in bed, Kara allows Lena access to more than just her heart. 

She worried that with her past, with _their_ past especially, that she would unconsciously or defensively push Kara away. 

Thus far, it’s been the exact opposite. She draws near and pulls Kara closer both physically and emotionally with a fervent desire to be with her and beside her and it’s scary and reassuring at the same time and unlike anything she’s ever known which is why Kara’s question had thrown her to begin with.

Luckily, she also discovered some natural abilities early on. 

For instance, it was pure and instant instinct to know that slipping her hand inside Kara’s shirt and slowly dragging her fingertips just above Kara’s belly button reduces Supergirl to a squirming mess of wanton lust in less than ten seconds and that it invariably leads to being pressed against the nearest solid surface while Kara ravages her mouth and neck and seeks to grind against her thigh. 

She’s also learned that Kara very much appreciates being surprise pounced upon and kissed. Kara giggles sometimes and breathily sighs other times and kisses her and accepts kisses with eyes closed and happiness painted across her features.

She’s so deliciously smitten she almost can’t stand it. She confessed to Kara that night, tangled in sheets and each other that she hopes they’ll be like this always. That their passion isn’t just because of the relative newness and novelty of the situation they find themselves in. 

“It took us nearly ten years to reach the point where we can reach out and freely touch and kiss each other. I don’t think I’ll ever get over being able to do that. And the more I know about you, the closer I want to be. We worked hard for each other. Something tells me we’re not going to give that up easily or grow tired of being together.”

That’s not to say everything was always smooth sailing, starting with a kerfuffle little more than a week later. 

Charlie is working on perfecting the newest chord Alex showed her one dark evening after a quiet dinner. Lena raises her head from her book every few minutes to watch her daughter, her child size rocking chair pitching back and forth when Charlie shifts her weight and strums again. 

It's a treat more adorable than anything she’s ever seen when Charlie hums the note as she plays it, just to make sure the pitch is close. Lena doesn’t know where she picked up that trick, but it makes her heart grow every time she notices it. 

She thinks Kara might be asleep. At least, the lump stretched across her legs and the butt pointing upwards hasn’t moved for a while. There’s an occasional low groan in response to Lena’s hand under her shirt and the kneading/rubbing of her lower back, but that’s no guarantee she’s awake. 

It’s been overcast, windy and cool the last few days, thwarting any plans they had to travel. Lena discovers that during monsoon season, the longer the sun stays hidden, the worse Kara seems to feel. She won’t directly admit it, of course, but Lena can see it in the way she holds herself when she stands. It’s in her voice when she responds to her or Charlie and the friendliest and most outgoing soul she knows is no longer starting conversations on her own. Lena’s sure Kara doesn’t even notice the way she’s more careful when she sits or the way she hesitates before getting on the floor to interact with Charlie. Lena is positive the way she seeks out comfort in her arms and in her kisses that she’s in significant pain without the restorative aid of the sun. Even Charlie is getting a little moody lately without getting some form of sunshine. 

Lena resolves to see if she can come up with a home setup similar to the sun bed kept at the DEO. She puts her book aside and lets her hands continue to work on Kara’s back as she mentally considers everything from which room would be the best candidate (she knows just the spot in the garage), how much additional wattage they would need to plan for, how many additional batteries they would need to set up for the generators, how many lamps they would need to be beneficial and a host of other factors and ideas plot a course in her head. 

She’s confident Alex will agree to supply what she asks for and is more than a little surprised the most organized person she knows (besides herself) hasn’t already prepared a contingency plan for this exact situation and that it hasn’t come up before. 

It saddens Lena that she’s not sure she’ll be the one setting it up once it arrives. She has to go back. Sooner, rather than later. They’ve avoided discussing it because the idea of separating, or even talking about separating is too much to contemplate. 

Her thoughts are interrupted by the now familiar chime and notification of incoming communication. She glances briefly at Kara stretched across her lap and considers not answering. She’s sure Alex at the very least has figured out that she and Kara are together and if Alex knows, it’s likely that Eliza knows as well. 

Alura is another ballgame altogether and isn’t outright hostile towards Lena when she communicates with her daughter and grandchild, but she’s definitely not too polite to hide how she feels about Lena, either. 

They’re not labeling it. They're together and it’s real for them, Charlie included. They’re not hiding it, but they also haven’t addressed it with anyone, either. She tries to rouse Kara, but she doesn’t budge except to somehow find a way to smoosh Lena more. 

Charlie has stopped playing guitar and is looking at Lena expectantly, waiting for her to connect the call. Lena gives her an indulgent smile. She hopes it’s not Alura and her expression does not convey the nervousness she feels and accepts the link. 

Eliza’s smiling face fills the screen and Charlie greets her enthusiastically. “Hi Grammy, I have a new note! I’ll play for you!” Lena tries to discreetly jostle Kara awake to no avail. 

She watches Eliza’s expression carefully as Kara’s earth mother takes in the scene before her. If she’s shocked or upset about Kara passed out on Lena’s lap, she’s doing a good job of hiding it. 

Lena wonders if Eliza will simply choose to end the call when she’s done chatting with Charlie, but she’s quick to greet Lena with a warm smile. “Looks like Kara found a way to feel better when the sun is hiding. Have her legs been bothering her? The forecast looks pretty bleak for the next week, unfortunately.” 

Lena noticed the same thing and nods her head. “Her back, too. But she doesn’t want us to worry,” she responds and it’s obvious to Eliza that she is doing just that. 

Eliza shakes her head at her daughter's stubbornness. “I wish she’d just set up the lights in the garage and not worry so much about the power consumption. Maybe you can convince her,” she adds, hopeful. 

Lena can’t believe what she’s hearing. “The what in the where?” If Kara’s been sitting here suffering when she has the means to do something about it, Lena was going to scream.

Eliza realizes too late that she’s stepped in it but decides to forge ahead, consequences be damned. “There’s a fold up cot, some stands and full spectrum lamps to simulate sunlight packed in some hardside cases stored in the garage.”

“I’ve seen the cot,” Lena mentions aloud, knowing right where that is. 

“Everything else should be right there around it,” Eliza confirms. 

“I’ll do my best to have it assembled by morning,” Lena pledges, glad that Eliza said something and a little irked that Kara hadn’t. “I think it’ll do them both good,” she mentions, glancing at Charlie. “I’m sure I can rig the diesel powered emergency generator to get them up and running for now. Just until I figure out how much consumption we're actually looking at and then we can assess the need for another power source, or add another bank of batteries to what we have already.”

“I think that’s an excellent plan,” Eliza compliments, not missing Lena’s use of the word “we”. 

She watches Lena’s attention shift to Charlie when she climbs up next to her, wiggling into the space between the couch and her parents, tugging on Lena’s sleeve before cuddling against her. 

“Is it time for bed, little one?” She gets a tired nod in reply and smiles as she curls her arm around Charlie, drawing her closer. 

“Looks like you’ve got your hands full,” Eliza smiles at the intimacy of the moment she’s witnessing. Kara, unburdened and trusting in Lena to take care of not just her heart, but Charlie’s too, and Lena, willing and more than worthy to do so and giving her own heart completely. “I’m glad you’re there, Lena.”

The admission and acceptance takes Lena by surprise, emotion rising faster than she can control it. “Thank you, Eliza. That means a lot to me. I’m very glad to be here.”

“Give Kara my love and give Charlie an extra big squeeze for me, please.”

“I certainly will,” Lena smiles genuinely. “Thank you for telling me about the lights,” is what Lena’s words say, but her heart is grateful for Eliza’s trust and with the knowing look in Eliza’s eyes, it’s clear her message has been received. 

“Goodnight, Lena. Goodnight, precious granddaughter Charlie,” she blows Charlie a kiss which Charlie pretends to catch and eat like a dinosaur before blowing a kiss in return. 

“Night night, Grammy.”

It takes a couple tries of both calling to and shaking her to get Kara awake enough to sit up so she can get Charlie situated for bed and the effort it takes Kara to simply wake up and move worries Lena immensely. 

By the time she’s taken care of bathtime and a story, Kara has moved from the couch to the bedroom and it’s a toss up which one is sleeping harder when Lena checks on her before heading to the garage. She pushes up her sleeves when she finds what she’s looking for and gets to work. 

Kara’s not sure what pulled her from sleep until she registers the fact she’s alone in bed. ”Babe?” She calls for Lena even as she reaches out to feel the sheets beside her she knows will be cool and turns on the bedside light to look around when it becomes more obvious that Lena hasn’t come to bed at all. A quick glance at the clock confirms early morning hours and Kara sits at the edge of the bed for a few moments to let the bulk of her muscles spasming subside before she drags herself to her feet to seek out Lena’s company. 

She detects the aroma of coffee from the hallway and heads towards the kitchen after confirming Lena isn’t with Charlie or in her old room. The coffee pot only has a mug worth left in it but it’s still hot. There’s not many places Lena can be, but until Kara finds her the knot of apprehension lodged firmly in her chest isn’t going anywhere. 

The knot loosens when she opens the door to the garage and the lights are on. It slips away entirely when she finds Lena assembling a floor stand on the workbench. She’s deep into the task, not even picking up on Kara’s presence yet and she takes the opportunity to simply watch. 

Lena’s capable hands slide a bracket into place and she holds it with one hand before plucking a bolt from the bench and deftly lines it up and begins threading it before reaching for a power driver and snugging it down. She rotated the stand and picked up another bracket, duplicating her actions while Kara got a look at what Lena’s project was. 

She lets out a disappointed sigh when she realizes what Lena’s doing, one that Lena seems to hear or sense over the motorized tool in her hand and has her pausing to look over her shoulder and spotting her. Her immediate reaction to smile at seeing sleep tousled, gorgeous Kara quickly fades at her grumpy expression. 

Lena puts her tools down and approaches Kara, brushing her slightly dirty hands on her pants. “Are you okay?”

“You should have talked to me before you did this,” Kara’s tone is nearly accusing and Lena has to stop herself from taking a reflexive step back. 

“You’re upset,” Lena correctly diagnosed and scrambled to right things. “I was trying to come up with a light configuration to help you feel better and Eliza mentioned the necessary equipment was already here and I couldn’t _not_ do this for you. I know you’re in pain and not feeling well and Eliza said you were worried about power consumption, but I’m going to wire them to the backup generator-“

“Stop.”

“- so you don’t have to worry ab-“

“Stop!” Kara repeated, actual heat behind the word.

Lena does take a step back this time as her mouth clamps shut and she tries to mentally prepare herself for whatever barrage Kara is preparing. 

“I’m fine,” Kara all but hisses. “You have no right to go behind my back and do this,” she seethes and the more calm Lena appears to be, the louder Kara’s breathing becomes. 

Lena suddenly feels like she’s on a dance floor, trying to keep up with a song and routine that everyone else knows, but is new to her. “I don’t understand.”

“No, you _don’t_ understand,” Kara repeats. “You don’t understand that this is my decision to make and I already made it!”

An icy realization washes over Lena. It didn’t matter to Kara what her intentions were. It mattered that a choice was taken away. “God, Kara. I’m so sorry. You’re right. I should have talked to you instead of assuming I knew best.”

She takes a careful step towards Kara. Kara, whose eyes are full to the brim with pain and anger that’s dangerously close to overflowing when she takes another and then one more step that brings her into Kara’s orbit and she can’t help her upper body tilting closer to Lena but won’t reach out for her, fists clenched at her sides. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Lena tells her again, wrapping her arms around Kara as carefully as she can, letting Kara have time to push her away or step back or even tell her to stop. She does neither of those things. She lets Lena nudge forward and press against her and lets out a ragged breath she didn’t know she was holding. “It’s okay. You’re safe. I’ve got you,” Lena promises, her hand going to the middle of Kara’s back when she finally leans into her and drops her chin onto Lena’s shoulder. 

Lena’s so warm and soft and fits against her so well it’s hard to remember why she was angry with her when she’s the one doing the heavy lifting and keeping Kara on her feet literally and figuratively. Kara admits to herself that she’s not thinking clearly. That she’s lashing out because she’s in pain and exhausted no matter how many hours she sleeps. The more Lena whispers assurances and love to her, the worse she feels. 

Lena keeps assuring her that she’s got her. That it’s going to be okay. That she’ll never take away her choices again and Kara believes her. Knows that that wasn’t what was happening here at all, but she can’t communicate anything beyond her need for Lena to hold her. 

“Please just listen for a few seconds and if you still feel the same, I won’t bring it up again, okay?” She waits for Kara’s nod before she continues. “These lamps don’t make you weak because you use them. They don’t mean that you’re not strong. They’re no different than the oxygen concentrator you set up for me, Alex and Eliza. They’re no different than the meds I take or the therapist I talk to. They’re just tools to help us get better. I love you. I love you so much and there is nothing I won’t do for you and Charlie. To see you suffering when this could help you.. hurts.”

Kara lets out a pained cry at this, her arms finally wrapping around Lena’s waist and holding on as tightly as her diminished strength will allow. 

“Please? Please let me do this for you?” Lena begs, her heart all but shattering as Kara shakes and clings to her. 

“Okay,” Kara agrees, sinking further into Lena’s comfort as she gently rocks her on her feet. Later, when she’s supplied her starved cells with the energy they need, she’ll be able to put into words why she was against using the lights and how much Lena’s argument changed her perception. But for now she’ll soak up all the love and care Lena’s showing her. 

“Let’s get you back to bed and I’ll come and get you as soon as everything is up and running,” Lena suggests once Kara’s calmed down. 

There’s an instant recoil to the idea and Kara’s arms flex jerkily around her. “Can I just stay here with you?”

“Of course you can,” Lena soothes, understanding that Kara wants to be near her right now. 

She sets Kara up with the shop stool to sit on and drags it as close as she can get to her workspace without Kara being in the way. The progress is slow going after that. Not that she minds. How could she when the reason she has to frequently pause is because Kara will snag her shirt, or belt loop, or hand and pull her in for hugs and kisses?

Dawn is just beginning to break when the last bulb is snapped into place and the cot is opened up under intense spectrum lighting for Kara to lie down on. 

“Get comfortable. I’m gonna go get Charlie. She needs this, too,” Lena leans over Kara once she’s in a good spot and kisses her twice. 

Kara holds on to Lena’s wrists, preventing her from leaving. “Don’t go yet.” She can feel the warmth spread over her like a thick and cozy blanket and she wants to bask and share in it for just a moment with Lena. It feels good. So good she can’t believe she ever fought against it. 

Lena agrees of course and sits on the edge of the cot and holds one of Kara’s hands while her other hand cards through her hair. 

“Do you miss the bangs?” Lena is curious with silky strands between her fingers when the memory of Kara’s new hairdo and suit from many moons ago suddenly crops up. 

Kara cocks her head slightly as she thinks for a moment. “No. Do you?” Her eyes close and her lips curl slightly before she lets out a content hum under Lena’s continued ministrations.

Lena purses her lips somewhat ruefully. “No, I do not. They were cute. But you, Kara, are beautiful. I love how soft and sexy you look when your hair falls around your face. The bangs didn’t do you justice.” She watches Kara puff with pride at the compliment and how she happily wiggles her toes and feet. She can practically see the color returning to Kara’s cheeks just in the few minutes they’ve been sitting there. 

“How do the lights make you feel?”

Kara’s eyes open and she trains them on Lena. “Safe. Warm. Happy,” she quietly lists the top three emotions she feels in that moment. “Same way I feel when I’m holding you and Charlie.” Lena gives her a fond smile, continuing to run her fingers through Kara’s hair. 

“I feel it in my toes first. Then my fingers. Like touching a live wire that’s not strong enough to shock you, just hums with electricity. Then it spreads throughout my body and it feels like I’m weightless. Floating. Quiet awareness. Tethered to the heat, but nothing else.”

“Sounds beautiful.”

“It is,” Kara confirms. She rises up and pulls at the front of Lena’s shirt, her intent clear when Lena meets her in a deep kiss. Lena crawls over her, pressing Kara back into the padded surface of the cot to keep her from having to stretch and strain too much. 

She hovers over Kara to avoid resting her weight on her, both to keep pressure off her back and to keep them from taking things further than the already intimate exchange. She puts the breaks on when Kara pushes her hands down the back of Lena’s jeans, palming warm flesh and trying to pull Lena’s hips to hers. 

Kara looks dazed and dopey when Lena pulls away, her head dropping back on a soft pillow with a whisper. Her tongue darts out to moisten her bottom lip before she bites down on it momentarily. “We’re gonna need a bigger cot,” she mentions pointedly. 

Lena laughs lightly at the suggestion, but she has to decline. “Oh no, darling. This little lamb is already roasting under these lamps, I’m afraid.”

“I volunteer as tribute to rub SPF100 all over your body,” Kara bravely (lecherously) offers.

“Mm. Thank you for your sacrifice,” Lena wryly responds. 

“That’s just the kind of selfless hero I am, Miss.” Kara smiles so smugly that Lena has to roll her eyes. Someone’s feeling better, even if it’s just marginally. 

“Besides, I never said the lights had to be on.” There’s some eyebrow waggling that has Lena burying her face against Kara’s neck as she laughs. 

“You’re ridiculous is what you are. Now, do you need anything before I go get Charlie,” she offers? “Some sleep pants or a T-shirt?” She runs an appreciative pass over Kara’s sleepwear consisting of sleep shorts and tank top. “Pillow for your legs,” she suggests when she stands and Kara raises a knee to relieve some of the pressure that hasn't gone away yet. 

“Another pillow sounds good,” she agrees. She keeps hold of Lena’s hand, preventing her from leaving for a third time. Lena looks back to find that Kara’s expression has turned serious once more. “I was a jerk earlier,” she begins, only to be cut off by Lena’s head shake. 

“You weren’t a jerk. You’re in pain that most humans wouldn’t even be able to function at. That’s what we should have started communicating about instead of you taking that burden on yourself and me thinking I could fix it without talking to you first. Not talking is always going to put us at odds, Kara.”

“Pain is a strange concept for me to gauge after not feeling it for so long. I’m never sure if my pain is measurable to what humans experience or if it’s minor in comparison,” Kara admits. 

“Pain isn’t a competition, honey. If something is noticeably impacting the way you move or think, it’s time to talk about it, because it’s not minor.” Lena wants to discuss it more. But having the discussion when Kara’s still struggling doesn’t seem like an appropriate time. Tomorrow, when she’s feeling better and thinking clearly, they’ll have a chat. For now, she just wants Kara to rest comfortably. She gives Kara’s hand a final squeeze before retrieving a spare pillow from the laundry room and helps tuck it under Kara’s knees before she goes for Charlie. 

She returns a couple minutes later with their slumbering daughter held against her chest. Kara watches her approach, a soft smile on her lips and warmth that has nothing to do with the lamps she’s under blossoming in her chest. Charlie is laid down in the curl of Kara’s arm and she rouses briefly to complain about it being too bright before burying her face against Kara and going right back to sleep. 

Seeing her world before her Lena wishes she could join in, narrow cot and hot lights be damned. Instead she leans over, kissing them each tenderly. 

“Zhao,” Kara whispers, maintaining eye contact with Lena so she knows her aim is true.

“I love you, too.”

* * *

Thanks to the delivery of supplies a couple of weeks earlier and Lena’s request for some personal items, Lena is excited to slip into one of her favorite blouses. She loves stealing Kara’s sweaters and Kara’s undershirts and Kara’s flannels and Kara’s.. she likes wearing her clothes. _Kara_ likes her wearing her clothes. 

Still. The tailored blouse she selects for the day is simple enough. It’s white and a silky blend that miraculously doesn’t wrinkle easily. It’s tapered around the chest and flares out ever so slightly at the waist so she can wear it tucked in, or leave it out and still look more than presentable and if she does say so herself, it looks amazing with her dark washed jeans. 

Amazing enough that Kara looks nearly stunned when she sees her standing in the kitchen and reaching for a mug. 

“Wow,” she whispers as she wraps Lena up in an embrace from behind. Kara swallows and tries again, moving aside some soft waves to graze Lena’s neck with her lips and teeth. “You take my breath away.” 

Amazing enough that she has to discreetly clear her throat during breakfast a few times to keep Charlie from noticing where Kara’s eyes keep landing. The blouse fits well enough. She hadn’t had any trouble buttoning it. There is however, a little more strain on the third and fourth button than usual. Maybe less bacon for breakfast every day, she decides. 

Then again, maybe not. 

Based on how many conversations Lena recalls “straight” Kara had with her chest in the past, it’s unsurprising that Kara is a breast girl. Lena’s breast’s in particular. Kara even designated them as her Emotional Support Tiddies despite Lena’s denial it’s an official election. 

She can’t count the number of times Kara’s hands have slid up or down her shirt to cup a breast or two and drag a thumb across a nipple. She’d be offended if she weren’t so _affected_ by it. 

She doesn’t want to go so far as to say Kara’s obsessed, because she also spends a healthy amount of time appreciating other aspects of her being, but she’s obsessed. She calls Kara out over it (them) while they’re devouring a pint of ice cream between them on the couch one fine evening while Charlie is playing in her room.

Kara turns the spoon over in her mouth, sucking the last of the cream from it, all the while staring thoughtfully at Lena’s chest as she merely shrugs and says, “I just think they’re neat. Besides, don’t think I haven’t seen you ogling my abs or aren't aware of how much time you spend kissing them on your way downtown.”

Lena looks positively scandalized. “I do no such thing!” It’s absolutely something she does. 

Kara looks entirely too smug for Lena’s liking as she blatantly raises the hem of her shirt up to her chin and purposely clenches her abominable muscles. “Oh, really? What do you suppose would happen if I let some ice cream melt on these right now?”

Lena’s eyes dart between the abs, the ice cream and Kara’s expression. Was she bluffing? Was this a trick? What flavor? Scratch that last one. Doesn’t matter. 

Kara is three seconds from being wrestled to the ground when the ill timed chime ruins their fun. Kara pats her own belly and promises “later.” It’s unclear if she was talking to Lena or herself but her shirt gets lowered and smoothed back into place before she connects the call. 

Alex’s worried expression fills the screen six seconds later but she’s pleasant enough while she greets them. 

“What’s up, Alex?” Kara doesn’t beat around the bush. 

“I have some news for Lena. It’s personal, Kara,” she hints that she may want to give Lena some privacy. 

Lena is not amused and terribly curious. “She’s staying, Alex. What’s going on?”

Alex assumed as much. She’s quick to fill them in. “The Republic Of Cadmus has been very active the last few weeks. More active openly than they have been in the last two years we’ve been tracking them. The terrorist organization is looking for you, Lena. It’s pretty hard not to jump to the conclusion that they’re directly tied to your mother. We haven’t been able to prove that connection no matter how hard we try..”

Lena picks up the thought for her a few seconds later. “But it’s in her wheelhouse and she knows how to cover her trail.”

Six weeks ago when an ‘anonymous source’ (also suspected to be Cadmus) released to the media that Lena was missing, another three lettered government agency had been forced to announce that due to severe and credible threat to life, Lena Luthor was in protective custody until such time they deemed the threat neutralized.

This wasn’t exactly misinformation. Lena and her security team navigated assasination attempts regularly and the agency (at the behest/encouragement of the DEO) had merely made an announcement. Since that time, several cyber attacks had attempted to access where Lena was being held and two federal judges suggested Lena and tax paying citizens would be better served by housing Lena in solitary confinement in a super max facility rather than stowed away in a safe house somewhere.

While the judges were a surprise, the hacking was anticipated by Brainy and Alex who had left a masterful trail of subterfuge for the hackers to follow. They were waging a time wasting war the likes of which Cadmus had never seen and the federal judges were under heavy scrutiny. 

Growing tired of no results, Cadmus was trying a new approach which is what Alex was about to unveil for them. 

“There’s a pretty significant lawsuit being filed against you, the surviving Luthor sibling, by Eve Teschmacher. She is suing for damages in the amount of seven hundred million dollars and alleging mind control, coercion and abuse. She also details a period of months she was imprisoned by you and used for medical experimentation including artificial intelligence merged into her consciousness without her permission.”

“That never happened on Earth Prime!” Kara objected. 

“But it did happen,” Alex points out. “Either Eve had her Earth-38 memories restored, or Cadmus has knowledge and access to information via another source, again, probably Lillian. Either way, they’re using it to draw you out. They know whether they can prove it or not, you have to respond to the allegations.”

“Then she should definitely stay right here,” Kara argues. 

Thus far, Lena has let Kara do the talking for her while she wraps her head around this new threat to her existence with Kara and Charlie. Part of her felt bad for Eve. Leviathan manipulated Eve for years and controlled her every move. Then Lex came along and dug his claws into her and ruined her life further and now Cadmus seemed to be picking up where they left off. She did unspeakable things to Eve herself. She wasn’t without blame in any of this either. Regardless of what version of Earth had survived, Lena’s memory of what she did was intact.

“Has a date been set?”

Alex nods more to herself when she answers. “There’s a pre-trial date for the fifth of next month.”

“Have my lawyers been made aware of this?”

“Yes. They’re very anxious to talk to you, as you can imagine. They’re even leaning on some very influential people to try to find out where you are,” Alex answers, and it’s clear the whole situation has blown up in a lot of stressful ways for her. 

“I think I’d better get in touch with them so we can begin preparing for the pre-trial,” Lena voices to Kara’s immediate objection. 

“This is a trap. They’re trying to lure you out on purpose,” she states the obvious. 

“Be that as it may, the allegations aren’t false. I can’t avoid them and staying here just makes me look guilty and like I don’t care about violating her rights. I will not do that to Charlie. I don’t want her to have a Luthor as a parent,” she answers determinedly, praying that Kara understands why she has to do this. 

“Eve’s in prison for murdering not just Jeremiah, but an entire list of moms, dads and siblings for Leviathan. No,” Kara answered resolutely. “Absolutely not. You’re not sacrificing yourself to prove you are not Lillian and Lionel. We already know you’re not.”

“I won’t be sacrificing myself. I have a very capable team at my disposal who will protect me while I face my actions with another very capable team of legal experts,” Lena argues, equally stubborn. 

“I can assign additional protection if that’s your choice, Lena,” Alex offers, surprisingly graciously. 

“She won’t need additional protection because she’s not doing it,” Kara answered for Lena. 

Alex makes the very wise decision to remain silent in the stalemate she can see brewing before her. She’d rather not witness it, but she really does need an answer so she can get the ball rolling either way.

Lena is surprisingly calm when she responds to Kara. “I have to do this,” she keeps talking even though Kara’s head is already shaking. “I am not above the law and being held accountable has always been inevitable. I have no plans of just rolling over and becoming a sitting duck for Cadmus to take advantage of. If it was just a matter of her wanting money, I’d give it to her. I’d give her ten times what she’s asking for. They’re attempting to destroy everything I’ve worked for since then. Professionally and personally. I can’t walk away from that. I won’t walk away from that.” 

She pleads without words with Kara to understand why she’s making this decision. She needs Kara’s support even if she doesn’t like it.

There’s a drop in Kara’s shoulders that are a sign she’s given up arguing about it. The folded arms over her chest and hard line of her jaw means that it’s just for now. Lena takes what she can get. 

“Alex, please get word to Pete Jacobson that I want to explore both making a counter offer and sending word that I’ll see them in court. I want to see what kind of offers get thrown on the table. I’ll also need to add him to the list of approved contacts after you’ve deemed it secure for me to email him. And, Alex? Thanks for doing this. You could have left me to the wolves to deal with all of this with no time or hung me out to dry and not said anything at all.”

Alex notes her instructions and request and then looks mildly surprised at Lena’s last remark. 

There may never be a declaration that all is well between them, but they’ve come a long way since the day she decided to send Lena through the portal. She gives Lena a nod of acknowledgement and even a slight smile even as Kara excused herself from the room before they disconnect for the evening. Alex watches with a careful expression before offering Lena a sincere “good luck” before the screen goes dark and Lena debates going after her angry Kryptonian or giving her time to process and seeing if she’ll come back on her own. 

In the end, it’s a newly made pot of coffee after Charlie’s tucked in bed and a heaping pile of freshly baked cookies that lures Kara into the kitchen and to the table where Lena is composing a lengthy email to her most trusted lawyer to send once she gets Alex’s approval. 

Lena puts her tablet down immediately and gives Kara her full attention, not wasting a moment before diving in. 

“We need to see what all the options are and the reality of each choice. Whatever decision is made, I want it to be what you and I decide. Together.” Lena exhales shakily. Just saying the words - just putting that much of herself out there and showing exactly how deep she’s in with Kara and Charlie wasn’t nearly as terrifying as she worked herself up to thinking it would be. Not terrifying at all now that she sees Kara looking at her with utter devotion and not even a hint of hesitancy. 

“If.. that’s something you’re open to,” she finishes lamely, ducking her head down and closing her eyes even as Kara’s chair scoots noisily against the floor when she pushes back from the table, stands and takes two steps towards Lena before she’s pulled out of her chair and into Kara’s arms. 

“El Mayarah.”

In the light of a new day they’ll discuss everything. While the night still belongs to them, they’ll vow with kisses and caresses that they’re in this together. 

Kara tells her with kisses pressed to the warm skin of Lena’s back that she’s proud of her and that she’s scared she’s going to lose her. 

Lena tells Kara with every arch of her body that she only wants to do right by her and Charlie. Her own kisses admit to Kara that she’s not proud of who she was, but she will fight tooth and nail to keep who she is and what she has now. 

The next two weeks fly by much too quickly and Eve’s lawyers refuse any and all attempts to settle out of court. The judge has denied all motions for continuance and requests for Lena to appear via video conferencing in spite of her current protected custody status. It’s shady and Lena’s lawyers are fighting it and fighting for a new judge and a new venue, but it’s all happening too quickly and the court date is going to reach them before any resolution can. 

Kara and Lena do their best not to let a shadow fall over the time they have left. Charlie might not understand what’s going on, but she’s so intuitive and sensitive to both her mothers that she spends more time in Lena’s arms than she does on the ground walking, running and playing. 

Kara stopped calling on her to stay. Knew it wasn’t fair to. Knew that Lena wanted to be there with her and Charlie and would do everything in her power and then some to come back to them. 

Instead she listened and contributed to the discussions Lena had with Pete. She fortified them both for their time apart with little kisses and long luxurious touches. 

Bolstered their spirit with endless hugs that either of them were hesitant to break away from so they often just found themselves standing in the middle of random rooms with their arms wrapped around each other and their eyes closed to memorize the moment and to prevent tears from spoiling it. Because it wasn’t goodbye. It was “see you later.” “Be back soon.” “You won’t even know I’m gone.” That last one was a lie, of course. But meant with good intentions. Charlie often got to be in the middle of the hugs, appreciating the big hug sandwiches that seemed to make everyone feel better. Lena didn’t even want to think about what it was going to feel like leaving them for a few weeks, possibly longer, but she had to. 

Everything came to a head the night before Lena was leaving. Kara lay between Lena’s legs with her head on Lena’s chest, sweaty and sated for the moment and letting Lena regain her breath between desperate rounds. 

“What if we came with you tomorrow?” Kara didn’t need super hearing to know that Lena’s heart skipped before thundering forward. 

“Kara?”

“What if Supergirl sat behind you in court,” Kara imagined. 

“Not sure if that’s the kind of public message we want to send,” Lena ventured carefully. “The Republic of Cadmus will be out in force as it is. We agree that the whole point is to draw me out so they can capture or kill me. How do we keep Charlie safe from that?”

Kara sighed deeply, unhappy about the whole thing. Charlie’s safety was the reason they hadn’t even considered discussing this sooner. “Charlie will be safe with one of her grandmothers or Kal and Lois if it comes to that. The bottom line is that I’m not letting you go back without my protection, or to face it alone. What’s the point of being together if we’re going to hide it? I’m going to be there for you and that’s it. End of discussion,” Kara firmly decides. 

“You’re being reckless, my love,” Lena points out gently, if not hypocritically. 

“No. You leaving is reckless. Me going with you is insurance that you come home in one piece.”

She can feel the shift in Lena’s energy. Can tell whatever rebuttal or refusal she was thinking of making was wavering. She moves in for the proverbial kill. 

“I can have me, Charlie and Stew packed in less than five minutes. I can have all our projects and the garden outside prepped for our absence in twenty minutes, tops. I can have the house locked down and secured in less than five. There’s literally nothing for you to do but surrender and let me spend the rest of the night rewarding you for my good idea,” she finishes with bravado.

There’s a long pause and just when Kara thinks she’s going to have to try again, Lena speaks. 

“I would very much like to take you on a date in National City. Or Paris. Or Rome! And take you and Alex on a pub crawl through Dublin, and Charlie to Disneyland!” Lena’s imagination goes into overdrive and Kara can hear the excitement bubbling into her voice that she’s sure Lena is trying to hide. 

“Pick me up at seven and don’t be late,” Kara warns, traveling the short distance from Lena’s chest to meet her eye to eye at her insistence. 

Soft light from a lamp on the dresser plays across Lena’s face and for the first time in two weeks Kara can see a mixture of hope, optimism and excitement. Most of all she sees love. Love for her. Love for Charlie. Love for their life there and she knows she’s reflecting it back because Kara feels the same way. 

“We’re really doing this?” Lena checks to be sure this isn’t a dream. 

“You want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down,” Kara recites, sappy and so in love she has no hope of containing it. 

Lena shakes her head. “I already have the sun.” It’s contagious. “Now why don’t you kiss me instead of talking me to death?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos for anyone that caught the reference to _It’s A Wonderful Life_!


	10. ‘Cause You’re Not Where You Belong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Earth, third rock from the Sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inside My Arms

“Is it your first time driving, Agent Ross?” Alex testily called out as the vehicle and the trailer behind it came to an abrupt stop inside the waterside warehouse. 

“Sorry, Director,” The sheepish agent looked adequately embarrassed for his poor driving skills as he stepped out of the vehicle and awaited further instructions. 

Alex waved him and the other three agents standing around away. “Get outta here. Go get some lunch and then empty this out.”

The small squad dispersed and then it was just Alex in the concrete building that smelled like fish even though it had never been used to store or process them. Perks of being by the water, she supposed. She waited another minute after hearing a door opening and shutting to make sure she was alone before reaching for the latch on the trailer. 

She was expecting to find just Lena, perhaps looking a bit miffed about the jerky ride. She was instead shocked when Charlie came barreling for her, making a small leap out of the trailer and into her arms which almost didn’t come up in time. 

“Jeez! I thought Lena was driving there for a second,” Kara greets, earning a scowl from the accused before she grins and laughs at how happy she is to see her sister. 

“Charlie?! What are you guys doing here?” Alex looks pleasantly bewildered. It was easy to smile as she hugged Charlie fiercely tight before she spun around and around and moved out of the way so Kara and Lena could get out. She doesn’t miss how Kara hops out first and quickly turns and lifts Lena up only for the CEO to shyly proclaim that she can get down by herself. Nor does she miss Kara gallantly setting her down and responding equally quietly for Lena to just say “thank you” as she takes Lena’s hand and pulls her along the short distance to Alex, throwing her arms around her sister and not giving Lena much choice about joining in. Not that Lena or Alex really mind so much either. 

“Mom will flip! She’s going to be so excited to see you guys. I was already supposed to tell you to call her when you got settled,” she directed at Lena. 

“Really?” It slipped out before Lena had a chance to stop it. 

“Yes, really,” Alex responded, sounding only mildly annoyed as they all broke apart, Alex hanging on to Charlie. “How did you get so big? Where is the little sprout I left four months ago?” 

“Tablespoon of Miracle Grow and a shot of whisky every day,” is Kara’s terrible recipe for Charlie’s growth. 

“Oh god, here come the dad jokes,” Alex inadvertently shares a headshake and eyeroll with Lena. 

“Hey!” Kara looks mildly offended but still curls her arm around Lena when she settles against her side briefly. 

“You could have given me a little warning you were all coming,” Alex scolds as Kara starts transferring their personal items including an increasingly loudly protesting cat to Alex’s DEO assigned fleet vehicle. 

“I know, Stew. I know, buddy,” Kara consoles the kitty who seems happy to have her complaints lodged. She settles into a loaf at the back of the carrier and watches from the blacked out Suburban as luggage gets stacked around her. 

“It was a last minute decision,” Lena apologizes. “I didn’t want to involve them -“

“But we don’t leave family behind,” Kara steps in, finished packing the car. Securing Charlie’s car seat is next. “Right, Alex?”

Kara’s not challenging Alex, but she’s also setting the ground rules of how she expects Lena to be treated and Alex receives the message, loud and clear. Alex has reservations and outright anger over what happened, but it’s been filtered through a new lens these last couple of months and she’s hesitatingly looking forward to seeing Lena around more. 

“Of course,” Alex readily agrees. “I have a feeling you and Sprout aren’t going to be staying with me this time,” she shrewdly deducts. There’s a shared look between Kara and Lena. They hadn’t considered any other option. Lena looks a little exasperated that Kara’s glance is questioning. 

“We’re not separating, Alex. If your security sweeps confirmed it’s safe, we’ll be fine in my building.” Lena gets an excited gleam in her eye and pokes Charlie’s side softly. “How would you like to help decorate your room here?”

Charlie immediately begins spitballing ideas with Alex’s help ranging from a princess castle to a jungle, a pirate ship, the Millennium Falcon, dinosaurs, a UFO, teddy bears, a good luck dragon and legos. Which is to say Lena now has plenty of ideas and the bank account to match. 

“One thousand,” Kara states firmly. Lena looks at her in confusion. “That’s how much you can spend on decorating her room.”

“You’re giving me a spending limit?” Lena needs to clarify and Alex thinks now is as good a time as any to back away and get Charlie buckled into her chair. 

Kara thinks she can smile her way out of Lena’s CEO stare. She’s not entirely wrong. “Remember when you filled my entire office with flowers? To the point where I had to squeeze past them to get to my desk or the door?”

Lena’s expression falls slightly. “You didn’t like them?” There’s a hurt tone in her voice that has Kara immediately stepping into Lena’s space and wrapping her arms around her waist. 

“I loved them,” Kara assures her with soft sincerity and a boop to the tip of Lena’s nose with her own. “But I would have loved them even if there was just one. Because they were from you. You don’t have to spend a bunch of money on a room for Charlie for her to be totally happy. That’s all I’m saying.”

“I just want her to be comfortable and think of this place, of Earth, as her home, too,” Lena reasons. 

Kara smiles indulgently, her heart growing inside her chest. Lena has voiced her concerns about being a mother several times. Fear that she either didn’t have natural instincts, or that she wouldn’t know how to demonstrate them since she never experienced them herself that she can remember. Kara will happily point to this moment and a hundred more just like it that prove Lena’s fears are unfounded. 

“She will. Because you’re here and so am I. Our home is wherever we are. Together.”

Alex chooses that moment, the moment the space between them begins to disappear, to lay on the horn. She’s not the least bit sorry. “Get in, losers!”

Kara has half a mind to clap next to her sister's annoying face, but she doesn’t. She just sees Lena to her door before jogging around and taking the passenger seat up front. 

A large industrial door slowly rises as the vehicle approaches it and Alex smirks as the other occupants of the car cry out and complain about how bright the daylight spilling in is while she slips a pair of dark sunglasses on. 

“It’s like we’re driving right into the sun!” Kara whines, holding her hands up to shield her eyes until they adjust. 

“I did not realize how dark our little planet is,” Lena agreed, using one hand to shield Charlie’s eyes and one for herself. Sunglasses seem like a good idea until they are all adjusted again. 

“Aren’t you forgetting something, Kara?” Alex turns to her sister, foot firmly resting on the brake. 

Kara looks a little clueless until she has her lightbulb moment. “Oh yeah!” She reaches into her pocket and withdraws a familiar prop but one that hasn’t been used in a while. 

She unfolds the arms of her trusty glasses, slipping them on and making a slight face as she gets used to something resting on her nose again. 

Kara doesn’t need superhearing when Lena gasps rather loudly, having not seen Kara in glasses in quite some time. The effect it has on her is not unpleasant, if Kara’s reading her signals correctly. She looks over her shoulder to find Lena smiling wondrously at her, both dimples out in full force. Kara returns it and can’t help biting at her bottom lip. Lena has to lower her head and break eye contact before doing anything completely embarrassing like climbing into the front seat to straddle Kara. 

Meanwhile, Alex doesn’t think she’s ever seen anyone look at her sister the way Lena does. It’s going to take some getting used to, this Lena who openly adores both her sister and her niece. She had prepared a graphic version of the shovel talk to deliver today. But she doesn’t think she’ll ever get the chance, or that it’s even necessary. Especially when her sister keeps looking over her shoulder to confirm that Lena’s still there, as if she can’t believe they’re back in National City. Together, no less. She’s never seen Kara shine like this before. Not with Mon-El, not when she had a huge thing for James all those years ago, and not for the guy she embarrassingly pushed her sister towards when there was nothing there other than them both being attractive. 

She shouldn’t be surprised about her sister and Lena. Not when she’d been there at the beginning. Not when she saw Kara self destruct in her own ways when Lena learned she was Supergirl. Not even when Kara refused to believe Lena was so far gone from the friend she once knew and then the heartbreak when the evidence was too overwhelming to deny any longer. None of their overreactions indicated their relationship was casual. For either of them. 

She’s.. happy for them. But still cautious. And perhaps more than a little resentful, if she’s being honest, but she’s not sure exactly why just yet. 

Meanwhile, there’s an immediate improvement to how Lena, Kara and Charlie feel as they slip into mid-morning traffic. Lena feels like a giant weight has been lifted from her shoulders as each breath is effortless and easy in a way she had no idea she was taking for granted before. 

She’s not sure if it’s her imagination or her body readjusting to the gravitational pull, but everything seems to be moving at hyper speed around her, even when they’re not in motion at a stoplight. She can see it’s not just in her head. Charlie and Kara are equally disoriented. 

They’re also visibly shaking with unadulterated daylight soaking into them and Lena’s a little fearful of what that might translate into for their home while they’re here. Repairs and replacements could be made. She didn’t care about that. She just wanted them to be comfortable. 

Alex picks up on the excess energy as well and suggests a trip to the DEO where Charlie and Kara can let off some quickly built up steam. To sweeten the pot, she adds that J’onn and Brainy were on site today and Nia could absolutely be persuaded to drop by for a visit. 

If she’s being honest with herself, Lena’s left feeling a little like the third wheel in this situation and more than a little standoffish at the thought of being thrown together with people who made their feelings clear about their support of Kara and their intense hatred for Luthors. She didn’t blame them. How could she when their hate was so well earned? She knew she would have to face them very soon, but she’d rather not do it just now. 

“Actually, Alex, I really prefer that Lena, Charlie and me have some time together to get used to everything. It’s all very overwhelming and there’s a lot of stimuli bombarding us right now,” Kara speaks up and Lena could (and will soon) kiss her for it even as she grows concerned. Especially when Kara grips the armrest and it crumbles in her hand. 

“Tartar sauce.” Leave it to Kara Danvers to curse in fluent Sponge Bob. She looks guiltily at Alex, but her sister waves it off without a second thought. 

Lena makes an observation she keeps to herself. For now. The Kara Danvers persona gets slipped into with the glasses and presents as a lot more naive and “golly gee” sounding than the Kara Zor-El who was confidently and explicitly detailing exactly what she was going to do to Lena while buried three fingers deep inside her and moving with piston-like precision a mere eight hours earlier. She’s looking forward to relearning this facet.

Alex exudes nothing but calm when she nods her head at Kara’s request. She expertly maneuvers them through heavy traffic with her emergency lights now clearing the way, correctly sensing the urgency to get Kara somewhere she can cope with being overly stimulated. 

“It’s okay, Kara. We can do the DEO thing and get caught up another time. I’ll get you to Lena’s and you can settle in, okay?”

She glances in the rear view mirror at Lena and can see the anxiousness building in spite of the collected and composed expression schooling her features. 

“It’s really important that you be very careful touching Kara and Charlie right now. They both need to relearn their strength and none of us want anything to happen to you,” Alex says conversationally, as if they’re discussing the weather and not trying to prevent Lena from being accidentally crushed to death by an enthusiastic hug from either Kryptonian. 

Lena thought she had prepared herself for this possibility in the short time she had after making the decision for them all to come, but receiving a warning from Alex was certainly adding another layer of realism to it. “I will keep that in mind. Thank you,” she responds, equally casual. 

“Just looking out for you,” Alex responds automatically, surprising herself just as much as Lena and Kara. 

At some point during their stay, Alex and Lena will attempt to mend things. It will hurt. It won’t be pretty. But the other two occupants in the car with them make the effort more than worth it. 

Lena resides in a building Kara’s never seen or visited her at. It’s relatively new even to Lena, having moved into the large living space only weeks after learning and accepting Charlie’s true parentage. 

It’s a sprawling four bedroom apartment taking up the entire top floor of a recently renovated and converted industrial building built in the late 1930’s, complete with tall arched windows, high ceilings, direct rooftop access and its own private elevator with security measures customized by Lena personally.

It’s surprisingly warm and inviting with exposed brick and rich earth tones blending a certain amount of farmhouse chic flare, especially in the massive kitchen/dining area with a sprinkling of original to the building Art Deco aesthetics. It is vastly different from the cool white and sterile starkness of her old penthouse and clearly meant to be lived in and shared. 

Alex had been the one to gather up some of Lena’s requested belongings to send along to her and even she had looked around the place more than a little awe stricken and conflicted about it feeling so.. homey and unLuthor-like. 

Admittedly, there was a great deal of thought and more than a fair amount of optimism and hope that went into the possibilities of more than just one bedroom ever being occupied when Lena was searching for the perfect place to call home. 

For now, the master suite was being used and one of the remaining three bedrooms was serving as a home office. The other two rooms stood semi furnished with dressers and beds, but otherwise undecorated and awaiting occupancy she wasn’t sure they’d ever have. Kara and Charlie weren’t the only ones buzzing with excitement. 

Once they pull into the parking garage and Lena tells her which floor is theirs, Kara insists on doing her own security sweep, from both the outside and inside. There’s a look on her face that Lena can’t pinpoint when Kara lands less than ten minutes later and she wants to ask her about it, but it gets swallowed up in the melee of unloading the car. With Kara’s strength, it takes almost no time to get everything into the elevator and then they’re on their way, Alex included. 

While Kara was doing her security sweep, Lena turned to the sister. “I do hope you’ll consider spending the afternoon with Kara and Charlie. I know they’re both excited to see you. It’ll be good for Kara especially if you’re there while she’s adjusting. Having her big sister around will be familiar and comforting, I imagine.”

“You’re sure? I don’t want to intrude. Kara made it sound like this needed to be a family thing,” Alex voices, somewhat uncomfortably and resentful that Kara wasn’t including her as part of her family. 

“You’re Kara’s sister. Of course she wants you here. She’s just being protective of me. I’m uncomfortable putting Kara in a situation where she feels she has to choose between us. Or any of her friends and family, for that matter. 

I accept that collectively, you don’t trust me, my motives or my intentions. I have given you every reason not to. I understand that not everyone will be as forgiving or inclined to listen as Kara. I don’t expect any of you to be. I will not become a wedge between any of you. Please know I also will not let you come between us.”

Alex regards Lena warily, but also with respect. This was not the woman that was clueless about Kara’s identity, but still too afraid to make a move to pursue her romantically. Nor was this the woman hellbent on destruction and making Supergirl pay for her betrayal and caught up in Lex’s web of deceit. 

She caught glimpses of this new Lena two months ago when the truth came out. She saw her in passing while she and Kara and Charlie were getting to know each other, but she was seeing all of her now in the confident but battle scarred woman before her. 

Hands resting almost intimidatingly on her hips, Alex nods her head. “Understood. I’d love to spend the rest of the day with them.”

Oblivious to the tension happening beside her opened car door, Charlie happily kicks her heels against the base of her chair and claws ineffectively at the reinforced restraints keeping her buckled in. “Mommy! I want out, please. Can you help me?” She smiles so sweetly as her little hands reach for Lena. Lena gets closer but stays just out of reach though it’s clear she’s aching to free Charlie and shower the little girl with her usual ton of affection. 

“Just as soon as Mama gets back, sweetheart. Then we’re all going to explore our home here and you can run and play and find your favorite places to read,” Lena promises and this sounds like a pretty good deal except for one thing. 

“Can we have the pizza?”

“That’s a very good idea!” Lena futilely searches herself for her phone. Standing in her own parking garage made it seem like second nature that she would have it. 

Alex refrains from commenting but unlocks her own phone and hands it over. “Thank you!” Lena gladly accepts it and less than a minute later she’s ordering six large pizzas, drinks and a salad for herself from one restaurant before she rings another to place an order for three family sized portions of potstickers and another half dozen random dishes, all for delivery, each promised a king's ransom to have them at her door as soon as possible. She hands the phone back to Alex with gratitude and a sense of accomplishment. 

“Nicely done,” Alex compliments. 

Lena gives her a tentative smile, tucking her hair behind her ear self consciously as her head dips momentarily. 

They’re saved from any further awkwardness with Kara’s return and she’s wildly happy to hear that Alex is sticking around for a bit _and_ that there’s a massive amount of ready-to-eat food on its way. 

Lena feels the heat of Kara’s gaze the entire time they’re in the elevator. Charlie is in Kara’s arms, happily conversing with Alex. But Kara? She’s not looking away. And neither is Lena.

When the elevator doors slide open, they pile out of the lift and Lena opens the door to Stew’s carrier. A gray blur rockets out and across the apartment, disappearing down a hallway. 

Kara and Charlie take off at a much more sedate pace and Lena can’t help but follow from a safe distance, intently watching as they begin to explore and wander around each area. 

The frisson between them as Kara spots little decorations and touches that she knows are displays of the Lena she’s so intimate with swells with each discovery and reaches a tipping point that Alex gives the final push to. 

She opened Charlie’s bag of toys and selected an armful of her nieces favorites and found the family unit standing near the doorway to what would likely become Charlie’s room. It’s the larger of the two left to choose from and has a ton of natural light pouring in and a small loft area over the walk-in closet that they were already envisioning becoming a play spot or reading nook. 

“Ladybug? Do you want to play while your mommies work out whatever weird energy is pouring off them that’s making me afraid to be in a room with them?” Alex asks brightly, squeezing through the doorway between Kara and Lena, plopping down on the plush carpeting in Charlie’s room and opening her arms to deposit all the toys she carried in. 

Kara and Lena share a slightly guilty look between them before Kara checks in with Alex. She doesn’t want to just drop her daughter off on Alex and pull Lena away, but she also wants to do exactly that. “Are you sure?”

Alex waves her concern off. “Yeah, yeah. I’ve got this. She doesn’t have nearly the strength you had when you first got here and I know how to handle her. Go,” she shoo’s her sister and Lena away and engages with Charlie as soon as Kara sets her down. 

Lena reflexively reaches for Kara’s hand before retracting it. Kara’s apologetic expression has her readily assuring her it’s okay. She clasps her hands in front of her instead and leads Kara away, back across the apartment towards the double doors leading into the bedroom for some privacy. 

Kara follows dutifully, pausing only for a second to tap against the glazed glass of one of the doors. “Bulletproof?” She knows it is. Just as she also knows the walls to this room are reinforced and that there’s a small arsenal behind a panel in the walk-in closet. She’s just making polite conversation. 

Lena can’t take any more buildup. She answers with a curt nod before she addresses the thing between them. “What is it? Do you not like it here? We can look for a house if you’d prefer. I promise I won’t be too upset if you’d rather stay with Al-“

“That’s not it,” Kara interrupts, not unkindly. She just needs to stop Lena from thinking the worst case scenario here. “You made a home, baby. That’s a big deal. Whether things worked out with Charlie or between us, you made yourself a home,” she reiterates, her entire body wanting Lena close and in her arms but she genuinely knew she had little to no control over her powers that haven’t even fully returned yet and wouldn’t risk it. “Did you do all this for Charlie?”

Lena looks stunned momentarily and then just wonderfully shy and proud of her accomplishment recognized by Kara. “I.. well, yes. For myself, too. And for you. I tried.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Kara praises. She’d give anything to reach out and touch Lena’s face. To brush and kiss away the emotion she can see is threatening to escape. “I want to hold you so much,” she chokes out, her hands curling and clenching with want and frustration. 

Lena wants that, too. Wants it so much that she’s willing to be bold and perhaps a little reckless. “What if I held you? You don’t have to hold me back. You just have to let me,” she suggested. 

Kara looks torn. On the one hand, yes. Rao. That sounded amazing. On the other hand, she was afraid to risk it. Maybe they should just wait until she could respond. 

“Please?”

Maybe not. 

“How do we -“ Kara raises her arms up high enough to touch her head while Lena’s nostrils flare in slight amusement as she steps into Kara’s space. 

This is different. Lena can feel the difference right away as she wraps her arms around Kara’s torso and leans into her. Kara’s still warm. But it’s like hugging a steel I-beam with hair without Kara’s body conforming to hers or her arms going around her. Still. The always comforting smell was there. It was Kara. 

“Maybe if I -“ Kara wiggles a bit, arms still up and careful not to touch Lena. She looks ridiculous and sweet and so smitten and sad she can’t hug Lena back. 

“Put your arms down, honey,” Lena instructs from the depths of Kara’s cotton button up. There’s a hesitation that has Lena talking again. “You don’t have to put them around me, just let them hang down at your sides.”

“Okay,” Kara agrees softly, lowering her arms slowly. She swallows uncomfortably. It was hard to feel Lena before, but it’s easier now with her arms lowered and more natural but it’s nothing like she’s used to feeling and she’s incredibly offended. “I’m still in here. I promise. I know it’s different and we have to get used to it, but I’m still here.”

“I know.” They stay motionless together until there’s an attention-grabbing buzzer informing them of the arrival of food. Lena reluctantly drops her arms but quickly rises up on her toes to kiss Kara. It’s over quickly and Supergirl manages a startled response. 

“Warn a lady next time,” she complains, hot on Lena’s trail.

“You would have said no,” Lena points out, glancing cheekily over her shoulder on her way out of the room. 

An hour later Kara moans loudly from her spot on the floor. There’s an empty pizza box open beside her and a smudge of sauce on her cheek that’s just out of the reach of her tongue. She’s unabashedly spread eagle, moments away from a food coma and full. So full. 

Lena nudges her side with the tip of her socked toe. She’s on the floor too, with her back brushing against the couch and Charlie cuddled up in her lap and playing with Lena’s soft strands of hair, undoubtedly getting all manner of pizza in it, but she doesn't mind. She just kept rocking her little girl. It was her super power. Charlie couldn’t keep her eyes open for long when Lena held and rocked her.

Charlie was adapting quicker than Kara and since she wasn’t anywhere near her full potential for her super powers, Lena was happy, albeit cautious, to be able to hold Charlie once Alex gave her a quick strength test. Charlie wasn’t able to crush the solid plastic dinosaur (not one of her favorites!) with either hand and that was a good indication it was safe for them to resume contact again. 

No matter how brief the break had been, it was still too long. She instantly noticed a difference in Charlie’s mass, but it wasn’t as drastic as the change in Kara. 

“You could have stopped after the first two pizzas,” Lena chides, earning a grunt. “Or the third entree,” another groan.

“Let’s not forget the dozen and a half potstickers that bravely gave their lives before that,” Alex throws in, also laid out and happy, but taking up a couch. 

“Whose side are you guys on?” Kara grumbles, trusting herself to rest her hand on Lena’s foot. She just avoided flexing or gripping it in any way. 

“Yours,” came the chorused response from the women on either side of her. “Jinx.” Again simultaneously. 

Kara smiles sleepily, perfectly content in the moment. “That was the best pizza I’ve ever had,” she compliments lazily, no regrets for the slight misery she was in. Her metabolism would process it pretty quickly. 

“It was Charlie’s idea,” Lena pushes her nose into Charlie’s dark locks, leaving a kiss there as the little body in her arms has gone completely slack. 

Kara goes to thank her daughter but holds her tongue when she sees she’s asleep. “Do you want some help with her?” She offers, but she’s already pretty sure of the answer. 

Lena shakes her head, the rocking doesn’t stop. “We’re fine.”

Eventually Charlie does get laid out on one of the couches, Stew finally venturing out from whatever hiding spot she found and happy to break in the new furniture by leaving cat fur everywhere. No matter. She was perfectly content to curl up with Charlie and leave the adults unsupervised. 

‘Reunion’ wasn’t the word they’d use to describe the tense discussion between Lena and her team of lawyers but they were certainly relieved to see that Lena was in fact, back in National City via the video conference set up in her office. Kara sits beside her, a united front and a discreet hand resting above Lena’s knee under the table while Alex listens in as well, just off screen. 

About a half hour into their meeting Lena’s phone screen lights up momentarily from its spot on the desk in front of her and she manages to hide her surprise at the identity of the texter. It’s Alex. 

_Errand boy in the light blue tie. Cadmus. It’s being handled._

She could feel her anger rise. She could feel Kara tensing next to her too which meant she was also aware and she just hoped the hand now gripping her leg would ease off before she got carried away. 

_”Kara. Let go.”_ The squeezing immediately stopped with Alex’s slight whisper having its intended effect. The hand stayed where it was as Lena moved to cover it, her attention seemingly on the senior partner at her law firm discussing one of the points in the list of allegations against her and _she_ was the one now gripping tightly to Kara. 

If Cadmus had made their way into the most prestigious law office on the west coast, they could have breached access to her intellectual property and pending industrial patent holdings. She could lose hundreds of millions in earnings if her tech was stolen. That was a secondary concern. 

What scared her - what made her veins feel like ice was flowing instead of warm blood - was they now had visual confirmation of not just her, but also of Kara and the knowledge/assumption that if Kara was here, hers and Lex’s (their martyred idol, it seems) child would be nearby. 

If Lillian really was the mastermind behind Cadmus, it was impossible to know if she had any idea that Lex was not Charlie’s father and if she did know, would she have shared that info with Cadmus? Do Cadmus know that Kara is Supergirl?

Fuck. This was bad. They had hoped Kara’s presence would be unknown until the actual court appearance. 

It was nearly impossible to appear completely calm for the six minutes it took for six DEO agents and J’onn to suddenly show up in the conference room on the other side of town and surround the Cadmus mole. Her lawyers all looked shocked at the appearance of a fully geared tactical unit, unsure why their employee was being detained while J’onn explained the situation as succinctly as possible. 

The agent for Cadmus began spewing propaganda, promising that his party would save America and the world from the aliens spreading like a plague and threatening the American way of life. Spittle flew from his mouth as he looked into the camera and swore “they” would bring Lena to her knees for betraying the ideals of Lex Luthor and traitorously turning her back on humans. 

His diatribe is nothing new. It was nothing original and nothing they ever wanted Charlie to be exposed to. As soon as the DEO cleared the room with their detainee in tow, Lena got right back to business, demanding a full security and risk assessment of their entire staff, promising to yank her multimillion dollar business away if her accounts had been breached in any way. The damage that Lena Luthor could do against their practice if they had failed to keep her information secure would be unrecoverable. Unfortunately her trust in their firm was gone and would be hard earned if they were ever able to gain it back. 

The meeting comes to a tenuous close not long after so the law firm can get started on their internal security measures. Kara is on her feet before the screen goes black. She paces restlessly, fingers flexing and fisting as her breathing becomes more labored. 

“I need -“ she was in a conundrum. She could feel it racing to build and burning inside her. Furious and ready to pounce. Frustrated but focused on protecting. _Angry_ and ready to burn it all down. 

Lena takes a chance and steps in front of her, bringing Kara up short. She rests her hands on Kara’s wrists, forcing her attention away from her anger momentarily. Her voice is calm and steady when she addresses her.

“Take the stairs to the roof. Go. Be safe and come home when you’re ready. We’ll be fine here,” she promises. 

Kara looks to Alex for confirmation. For the first time she’s noticing the bracelet she's wearing. At the very least, they’re both armed and well trained and very deadly. She knows her sister will do anything to protect Charlie. But did that protection extend to Lena if it came down to it? 

“I won’t let anything happen to them. There’s extra security in and around the building. We got this. Try not to break the sound barrier.”

She didn’t want to go. Didn’t want to leave Charlie, Lena and Alex unprotected but she was losing a battle with control and couldn’t trust herself to stay contained any longer. “I’ll be back as fast as I can,” she swears. It makes her heart ache when she can’t even kiss Lena or hug her goodbye. 

Lena nods encouragingly. “I know. It’s okay. Do what you need to.”

There’s an emotional dam ready to burst and Kara casts one last glance at her and Alex before she’s gone in a flash, loose paperwork on Lena’s desk flying through the air like confetti. 

In the aftermath stands two women. Not quite friends, but no longer enemies. Alex helps gather up Lena’s paperwork without comment. Lena reorganizes it and drops uncharacteristically heavily into her desk chair. “I think it’s time for me to reach out to Lillian.”

“And say what? ‘Oh hey, mom. I’m back in town with my girlfriend Supergirl and our kid. Wanna come over for dinner Sunday?’” Alex wonders sarcastically. 

“Don’t be ridiculous. It would just be drinks,” Lena responds, equally sarcastic.

Alex snorts in spite of herself. “Of course.”

“I want to know what she wants. What she’s hoping to accomplish with all of this. If she’s even a part of it,” Lena lists her goals. “Sometimes the best way to get answers is to just ask the questions.”

“Kara’s not gonna like it,” Alex warns, but even she can admit there’s validity in trying to find out. 

“I won’t do it if we can’t come to an agreement,” Lena simply states. “The whole point of her coming with me was that we do this together. All of it. I think if she can be the one to set the rules of safety for meeting her, she’ll agree that it’s a smart move.”

This is not the Lena Luthor who secretly went to the DA on James’ behalf when his role as The Guardian was jeopardized after doublecrossing her mother for a bargaining chip. Nor was it the woman who kept Sam as Reign’s identity concealed for as long as possible. (That reminded her, she needed to text Sam for Ruby’s playoff schedule.)

“Whatever you need from me. Just say the word,” Alex casts her vote of support and she can see that Lena wants to express her gratitude, but she doesn’t know how it will be received and just opts to remain silent. 

It’s after dark when Kara makes her way down from the roof and back inside. Lena, Charlie and Alex are camped out at the enormous kitchen table, each of them coloring in a different book and sharing a big box of crayons between them. 

She sees there’s an extra book for her and joins them. She’s hungry. Probably smells a little like smoke. One of her shoes is missing? Definitely long gone. 

She’s settled now. Her hands are no longer shaking. Her heat vision is tucked comfortably away and she can hold a crayon and press it to paper without going through the table. 

“Mama!” Charlie spots her first, patting the empty chair beside her. “Come color with us!”

Everybody gets a kiss on the top of the head before she sits down. 

“You good?” Alex checks in, not making any remark about her missing wardrobe, the smell of campfire or the smudge of soot under one eye. 

She nods and gives both Alex and Lena a relaxed and genuine smile. “I’m good.”

Lena pushes away from the table while Kara opens her book and looks for something to color. “What’s our theme tonight, ladies.”

“Dogs,” Charlie answers, showing her Mama the two finished pages and the one she’s currently working on; a pink poodle with purple eyes and a green tongue. 

A plate of steaming hot pasta with a stack of garlic bread on the side appears next to Kara’s coloring book. A tall glass of iced tea joins it and a bottle of beer gets placed in front of Alex. 

“I like the service here,” Alex grinned, sipping her fresh beer.

“The waitress is hot,” Kara agreed, digging into her noodles with great enthusiasm. 

Lena reclaims her chair and leans over to whisper into Charlie’s ear knowing full well Kara can hear her. 

“It’s not nice to opt to fry women,” Charlie dutifully and solemnly informs her Mama. 

Alex starts cackling even as Lena is trying not to laugh as she sounds the word out for Charlie. “Ub-ject-uh-fy. Objectify.”

“I promise not to fry any women,” Kara teases, tickling Charlie’s sides even as she practices her new word a few times before she’s pronouncing it perfectly and re-delivering her line.

“You’re right, Little One. Lena? Light of my life. Mother of my child. Fred to my Ernie. I’m sorry I said you were hot. I didn’t mean it.” 

Kara sounded very sincere, but the wink she followed it up with, just for Lena, indicates otherwise.

Alex's eyeroll is larger than Lena’s, but not by much. 

It’s getting to be bedtime for Charlie and Lena volunteers to make the hot cocoa while Kara is on bath duty. Alex starts to say her goodbyes for the evening when Kara intervenes after a quick wordless conversation with Lena. 

“Alex. Just stay. I’ve got pajamas and clothes for tomorrow you can wear and you _have to_ try some of Lena’s cocoa. I’m not even exaggerating when I say it’s the best on the planet,” she brags about her girl.

“Okay,” Alex readily accepts. Being with Kara and Charlie has unfortunately reminded her that she’s pretty lonely without her sister around. She’s had relationships while Kara’s been gone, but nothing that’s stuck. She doesn’t know if she’s just given up on finding “the one” after she and Kelly imploded because it just hurt too much to pick up the pieces and open her heart again, or if she was just seeing the wrong women. Either way, she’s very grateful to spend time with her family. 

“I’ll take care of bathtime if you want to help in the kitchen,” she volunteers, like any good wingwoman would do. 

“That would be great,” Kara admits, throwing her arms around her sister and confidently hugging her. 

“Too tight!” Alex complains and Kara pulls away quickly, alarmed and concerned, only to push Alex away when she realizes she’s just joking. “Too soon?”

“Ass,” she fondly labeled her sister.

They located Charlie’s bathsoap and shampoo and Kara pointed out which toys she preferred in the tub these days before Charlie found them, showing them which set of jammies she wanted for the night. 

Kara watches her daughter totter away with her sister, her little hand engulfed by Alex’s. She likes seeing them together. Wishes for her sister again that she had her own handful of kids to dote on. 

Once they’re on their way, she joins Lena in the kitchen where she’s gathering up her ingredients. She steps out of the way when Lena needs to get into the refrigerator and then again when she’s right in front of the pan Lena wants. “Sorry!”  
She gives Lena a puffy grin with her lips pressed together when she once again is blocking the stove. “I’m not doing it on purpose!”

Lena laughs as she adjusts the burner. “Sure you’re not.” Once she’s happy with the setting she moves away, folding her arms as she leans her hip against the counter behind her. Kara mimics her posture and pose, standing opposite her against the island facing each other. “You lost a shoe,” she observes. 

Kara guiltily looks down at her striped socks. She abandoned her surviving shoe a while ago. “Yeah. I think it’s probably somewhere around Nebraska?”

“The farmers will be delighted with their crop of Nike’s this season, I’m sure,” Lena teases before growing serious. “Are you okay? Is it alright for me to touch you now?”

Kara wants to say yes. Wants to cross the distance between them in an instant and hold Lena against her body and kiss her breathless. But she forces herself to wait while she checks in with how she’s really doing. 

There’s an internal pep talk going on. She can do this. She can keep from getting too excited or too turned on. She had to. Because the alternative of not touching Lena? There was no entertaining that thought. 

“C’mere,” Kara beckons, opening her arms in invitation. 

Lena doesn’t even waste time asking if she’s sure, just immediately walks into them and closes her eyes when arms wrap around her and Kara’s body gives way and fits like a missing puzzle piece against her curves. 

She can more than work with this. Now that she has had the pleasure of getting to know Kara intimately, she can feel where once hard muscle tone has turned solid. Kara was in excellent shape, even without the full benefits of being super powered. She marveled and lustily mapped out her body on several occasions, but there was some give to her before where now there’s just unyielding strength and power. 

Beyond that, beyond the physical changes, the core of her attraction remains untouched. She’s _always_ felt the kindness and warmth in Kara’s hugs. It’s not just her body. It’s Kara herself who radiates those things. She thinks it’s one of the reasons she fell in love with her so long ago. She missed it for years. She missed it today. 

For the last two months she’s grown to rely on her physical connection with Kara. Good times, bad times and everywhere in between, Kara’s touch has been a constant. After today? After long car rides, planet jumping, not being able to hug her baby for a while, disastrous meetings, threats to her safety _and_ missing Kara’s touch? It was a lot to process. 

Kara pulls away when she hears telltale sniffles. She gets visual confirmation that has her desperate to fix whatever is wrong. “Lena? What’s this? Why are you upset?” She uses her thumbs to brush tears away but Lena quickly shakes her head. Doesn’t want to talk. Just wants to be in Kara’s embrace and pushes herself back into Kara’s body. 

“Okay,” Kara agrees to not talking, just holding, and it’s definitely not a hardship. Physical touch is still muted for her. That would likely and unfortunately be the case while she was on Earth. But emotionally, Lena will always have a direct and intense connection with her. 

Lena pushes herself away after a few luxurious minutes and hurries over to the stove to stir her chocolate mixture and recover her composure. 

“This is why you’re better at making the hot cocoa. You don’t let it stick,” Kara safely admits, letting Lena take whatever time she needs to talk to her. 

Lena nods mutely, still not quite ready to talk. Kara is drawn to her, needing the physical connection as much as Lena does and hugs her from behind. Lena immediately relaxes into her and she drops her chin over the slightly shorter woman’s shoulder, content for a time to just watch the slow movement of Lena keeping the liquid moving to keep it from burning in the pan. 

She can’t help that she nuzzles against Lena’s throat. Or that she needs to kiss the soft skin there. They haven’t kissed since this morning, on another planet, and she thinks they’re long overdue to break this one in. 

Lena responds enthusiastically to the kisses, first tilting her head to give Kara better access, next shutting the burner off and moving the pan to an unused one. Kara’s hands roam freely over her body and it’s no surprise when they end up in their favorite place. 

Kara abandons her breasts fairly quickly and opts to turn Lena around so she can get to her lips and it’s not the frantic union of two separated lovers. 

It’s a confident exploitation of the others' likes and desires. Slow and comforting. Deep and personal. There’s a good chance the kitchen will be the first room baptized by their fire when Lena’s shirt goes over her head and gets tossed aside and then the buttons on Kara’s shirt pop open, but disappointingly don’t fly off. 

It takes Lena a hazy moment to realize that Kara’s buttons aren’t buttons at all, but snaps, cleverly installed for Supergirl emergencies. “That’s cheating!”

Kara chuckles, chasing Lena’s lips with her own before she responds. “Do you know how many shirts I ruined before Winn gave me the idea for this? So many, Lena!”

Shirt untucked and hanging wide open, Lena’s blouse tossed aside, they stand pressed against each other, more than content to reacquaint and catch up with each other this way. 

“How much can you feel? Is it as bad as you thought it was going to be?” Lena asks with concern. Kara didn’t act like she wasn’t able to feel her, but she would absolutely try to protect Lena’s feelings. 

Kara doesn’t even debate not telling Lena everything. That’s not the kind of relationship they have or want and withholding the truth, no matter what it is is a mistake they’ll never make again. “When you touch me, here or our little planet, I can always feel it here,” she points to her chest. 

“In your boob?” Lena lifts an eyebrow and tries not to giggle at her own burst of silliness.

“Lena!” Kara admonishes, secretly pleased that she and Charlie are the ones that get to see and hear Lena’s playful side come out so often. “I was trying to be soft,” she pouts, sticking her bottom lip out for maximum effectiveness. 

“I would have thought you’d feel it in _my_ boobs since your hands are always there. Not even sure why I bother with a bra some days,” she continues, unaffected by the lip.

Kara has the nerve to look offended, scandalized, and indignant even as her hands rise and cover the breasts in question.

Too late Kara hears Alex’s footsteps and she doesn’t react until her sister walks in on them. “Sweet Mary!” She rushes to avert her eyes.

“Alex! Jeez!” Kara uses super speed to grab Lena’s shirt as she stands in front of her to protect her modesty. 

“I’m sorry! I just thought you would want to know that security has Lillian stopped downstairs, but by all means, please carry on!”

Lena’s shocked face peeks out from behind Kara’s mighty shoulder. She was true to her word. She hadn’t reached out to Lillian. Hadn’t even had a chance to discuss it with Kara. 

“Let her up or turn her away? Do you want to talk to her in the lobby?” Alex questions. 

“She’s not coming up here,” Kara quickly responds. “Can’t you just arrest her?”

“I can’t do that. She hasn’t broken any laws that we can prove,” Alex points out. 

“When has that ever stopped the DEO before?” Kara raises her voice at her sister's sudden interest in due process. 

“Honey.” Blouse back in place, Lena lines Kara’s open shirt up and redresses her. “Let’s just think this through for a moment before we waste what could be a perfectly good opportunity to learn what she knows.”

Kara trusts Lena’s opinions and knows if she has a plan or idea, it’s going to be a good one. She softly thanks Lena for fixing her shirt and backs up a bit, taking a familiar Supergirl pose with her stance wide and her arms folded over her chest. All she’s missing is the suit. 

“What do you have in mind?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone that’s commented or left kudos. I have made some wonderful friends through this story and I’m grateful to you all for that. 💜💜💜


	11. They Say That Things Just Cannot Grow

It takes all of five minutes to convince Kara that they can use Lillian’s appearance as an opportunity and two more minutes to negotiate _just_ Supergirl and Vigilante as her own personal security and not ALL of the SuperFriends. 

Lena worries it’s too much too soon and will send Lillian scurrying. Kara doesn’t give a damn if Lillian flees as long as it means Lena is safe. 

J’onn landed another minute later, shared a crushing but quick hug with Kara and stayed with Charlie. 

The ride down in the elevator gave Lena more than enough time to formulate a strategy with her hand gripped firmly in Kara’s. They let go when they reached the lobby and Kara placed a quick kiss to her temple before the doors slid open. 

Lillian looked rather calm, sat on one of the richly appointed sofas and thumbing through a lobby magazine looking more like she was waiting for a salon appointment rather than being held up by security. 

She moved with practiced grace with their arrival, smoothing the sleeves of her shirt to chase away any wrinkles before standing. 

The Luthor matriarch paid no attention to the hooded and masked figure to Lena’s left, nor to the caped crusader on her right. Her smile stretched unnaturally, as if it were an expression those facial muscles had to work at remembering. Cool blue eyes pierced Lena as she waited for them to approach. 

“Mother,” Lena greeted stiffly. 

“Lena. I’m so relieved to see you. I’ve been worried sick,” Lillian offered, not unpleasantly, but not altogether genuinely, either. “I didn’t realize seeing you again would involve so many costumes. Perhaps next time I’ll bring my broom.”

“What do you want?” Lena cut to the chase, not interested in exchanging barbs. 

“I’m your mother. I wanted to see for myself that my daughter, who has been missing two full months, was unharmed and in good spirits. You are in good spirits, aren’t you, dear?”

Lena looked unimpressed with her explanation, watching her mother shrewdly without saying a word. 

The silence stretched. Lillian looked mildly inconvenienced when she had to do the work herself to keep the conversation going. 

“I came to help. To warn you that the lawsuit is a ruse to get you into the open.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Vigilante remarked darkly.

“If you want to help you need to tell me why it’s so important to have me exposed. Otherwise, you’re wasting my time,” Lena pointed out. 

Lillian glanced first at Supergirl and then at Vigilante, as if what she had to say in front them pained her. “I _was_ worried. You practically dropped off the face of the earth. It was almost another Kara Danvers situation.”

To her credit, Supergirl did not react. Reacting would mean incinerating Lex Luthor's Mother where she stood. It was Lena who reacted with her chin rising defiantly. 

“I was with Kara. You not being able to locate her or me was by design, Mother,” Lena cocked her head, so much like a rebellious teenager that Kara had to fight to keep from looking too proud. 

“Oh, Lena. Always so dramatic. I hate the way you say ‘Mother’ like another word should follow it,” Lillian says candidly. Her plastic smile gets used again. “How wonderful you and Kara were together all those weeks. It’s marvelous that you've spent time with my granddaughter.”

“You know that’s not true,” Lena takes aim and fires. “She’s of no relation to you. How long have you known she’s my daughter?”

Lillian appraised her step daughter critically, a more familiar sneer morphing her features. This was not the Lena she was expecting to be dealing with. It changes the game. 

“Longer than you,” she answered cryptically. “Who do you think re-encrypted Lex’s data so you could break the code?”

False. Lena dug into and verified the last time the files were saved and encrypted and it was the same day Lex died. She wouldn’t have believed the information she found, otherwise. 

“How long did you also know I was sick and couldn’t tell truth from lies?” Lena asked, a trace of bitterness finding its way into her tone. She wondered what else Lillian would lie about. 

Kara aches to give her some sort of physical reassurance that she’s not doing this on her own but doesn’t want to risk giving Lillian any leverage. Instead she allows her eyes to glow faintly. Just enough to get Lillian’s attention. 

“How long?” Lena presses, her body language growing more aggressive whether she intends it or not. 

“We’ve known since you were fifteen,” Lillian gloats. “You still don’t remember attacking your classmate and hospitalizing her, do you?” It’s clear by the look on Lena’s face that she does not know what Lillian’s talking about. “You spent a month in a mental institution strapped down to a mattress on a Thorazine drip. I paid the hospital bills and signed over Lionel’s estate in Ireland to her family so they wouldn’t tell anyone,” Lillian informs her haughtily. “I never liked that harlots den. Two birds, one insignificant stone.”

Lena remembers missing a chunk of a semester at that age. But not the way Lillian is telling it. “I had mono.” 

“You had a psychotic break,” Lillian corrects. 

She had to start a new school when she recovered as her old school wouldn’t allow her to make up the curriculum she missed, even though she was miles ahead of anyone her age and they claimed they didn’t have any openings to hold her back with another class of students. Or so she believed all these years..

Whatever Lena was hoping to learn by meeting with Lillian, this was not it. She scours her memory for any pieces or fragments that what Lillian was saying is true.

There’s nothing there. Not a scrap. Not a trace. 

“The scar above your right eye. You got that when the girl you attacked went for your eyes to get you to stop choking her.”

“That’s enough,” Kara takes a sharp step forward to block Lena from Lillian’s verbal assault even as Lena raises her fingers to touch the scar she never remembered getting. It’s Alex’s hand, solid on her shoulder that grounds her as Kara stays in Lillian’s face. 

She shakes her head even as she’s trying to tug on Kara’s cape to stop her from keeping Lillian from telling her everything. 

“I need to know. I need to know!” She repeats it louder, getting Kara’s attention. “What classmate was it? Why did I see a deed of sale for one point four million euro for the estate if you gave it away?” 

Kara abandons her staredown with Lillian to step aside just far enough for Lillian to answer if she was going to. It’s abundantly clear that Lillian is playing games with Lena.

“You saw what I allowed you to see.”

Kara abandons her staredown with Lillian to turn to Lena, grasping her shoulders and giving her no choice but to back up as she pushes her away from Lillian. She doesn’t stop until they’re far enough away that she can speak somewhat freely to her. 

“There's no answers here,” Kara tries to reason. “She’s only saying this now to get into your head again. Whether it’s true or not makes no difference in the steps that you took to get better. _You_ took those steps. _You_ made that choice. Without _them_. She doesn’t have any power over you anymore and as one of your abusers of course she’s trying to get it back. Please, Lena. I’m begging you. Please don’t give her that opening,” she pleads, not caring that everyone in the lobby can see Supergirl openly fighting for Lena’s soul.

“What if I did that?” Lena whispers, horrified and doubting. 

“What if you did?” Kara shrugs and steps closer, lowering her voice so it’s just Lena who clearly hears her. “I’m not lessening what happened _if_ it happened. I’m saying it doesn’t change who you are and how far you’ve come now. I love you. I love you for the strong, brave, kind and beautiful soul that has my heart and Charlie’s. **We** love you. Everything about you. Even if this is included.”

“Promise?”

“With everything I have.” Kara swears her oath to Lena, the grip on her shoulders transitioning to grasp her upper arms gently. 

Lena gives just the slightest nod of her head and Kara gives her the most proud and reassuring look she can. Without taking her hands off Lena, she looks over her shoulder at Alex and sees that her sister moved to stand directly in front of Lillian, effectively blocking her from seeing what was going on and also to get in her space and piss her off. 

Without being able to hear the soft murmur of Kara’s voice anymore, she chances a glance over her shoulder as well. She reads Kara’s expression perfectly and returns her attention to Lillian. 

“We’re done here. If you ever try that shit with Lena again, I will hunt you down and cut your heart out.”

Lillian smiles her most menacing smile, daring Alex to try. With a final glare of hate between them, Alex backs a few steps away, not taking her eyes off her until there’s a safe enough distance for her to turn her back. She knows Supergirl has her covered, but it was still a good practice. 

Alex joins them at the elevator and Lena uses her thumbprint to open the doors. She can see that Lena is putting on a very brave face and that Kara is trying not to look at Lillian. It doesn’t escape her notice that they’re standing as close together as possible without touching, as if touching would be the one thing to give away who they are to each other. It almost makes her smile. 

The doors slide open almost immediately and Kara does a thorough check with her enhanced vision to ensure the steel box they’re stepping in to hasn’t been tampered with in any way since they last used it. She gives Lena a gentle nudge to enter and Alex is right behind her. 

Supergirl pointedly takes a last look at Lillian and doesn’t hide her disgust for the woman that thought she had any right to call Lena her daughter. She heard what Alex said to her. Ordinarily that kind of thing would put her off. She didn’t think she’d lose any sleep if something were to happen to Lillian. 

She steps in the elevator and stands in front of Lena, filling her field of vision again and making an obvious declaration that Lena was under her protection. From Lillian, from Cadmus. From anything and anyone that posed a threat. The doors slide shut and they’re in relative safety and without prying eyes once more. 

Lena doesn’t make a sound, just sort of slumps towards Kara in a daze and is immediately scooped up in strong and familiar arms. Alex watches the same woman who fussed over Kara lifting her out of the back of the trailer earlier in the day, now finding solace in her sister’s embrace, her forehead fitting perfectly against the side of Kara’s neck as if she’d been carried like this more than once. 

Lena doesn’t seem concerned about looking weak in front of Alex. Her pride is beyond caring. She’s most surprised when Alex stops them from getting out when they arrive at their floor with a simple hand on her leg. 

There’s more kindness in Alex’s voice than Lena can remember directed at her in quite some time. 

“For what it’s worth, I think she was just fucking with you. Psychotic breaks don’t appear out of nowhere nor would the symptoms of schizophrenia disappear after one and fifteen is very young for a break to manifest. If you don’t remember sliding in or out of an episode as major as she’s describing, and didn’t take medication for it afterwards, I’m about a hundred percent positive it never happened. Okay?”

Lena gives what she hopes passed for a smile and nods. “Thanks, Alex,” Kara answers, not putting Lena down just because they’re home now. 

Alex touches her earring (another gift/upgrade from Brainy) and her suit dissolves and returns her to her normal clothes while Kara decides to change once she puts Lena down, which she wasn’t in a hurry to do. She hated that Lillian had shaken Lena’s confidence and ripped open what was healing nicely. She’d do anything to help regain that ground.

J’onn met them in the living room. They weren’t gone long, but Lena was anxious to check on Charlie. She whispers as much to Kara and they quietly dismiss themselves to leave Alex and J’onn to discuss the encounter.

“I take it it didn’t go well,” Kara hears J’onn observe in his trademark baritone. She blocks the rest of the debriefing out as she maneuvers the precious cargo in her arms smoothly through the entrance to Charlie’s room. 

She deposits Lena on the queen size bed beside their sleeping daughter and crawls over them both to lie on the opposite side. She activated her suit sensor and it dissolves immediately, leaving Kara in the checkered button down and skinny jeans she started what now felt like an extremely long day with.

Lena wasted no time curling protectively around her daughter, closing her eyes when Kara’s hand rested against the side of her face, endlessly smoothing the line of her brow with the pad of her thumb. She knows that this particular touch relaxes and comforts Lena more than words can. 

“I’m sorry I let her get to me like that,” Lena whispers between them. 

“Don’t be sorry. You did nothing wrong. She went right in for an immediate kill. None of us were expecting that to be the agenda,” Kara assures her. 

“Still. I didn’t know I would react like that.”

“Like what? You didn’t bend. You didn’t break. You didn’t back down. I’m gonna start calling _you_ the Girl of Steel.”

“I feel a little worse for wear,” Lena downplayed. She was still trying to distinguish if what she thought to be true, was real.

“How could you not? But you didn’t crumble. You demanded answers that she wasn’t going to give you because she couldn’t. Even if she finds some way to tamper with records now, we already know she’s full of it. Please don’t be so critical of yourself. You handled it well. You know how you _didn’t_ handle it though?”

Lena’s breath catches in her throat. She knew it. She knew she fucked up. Kara sees the distress she’s caused and quickly follows up.

“You didn’t handle it like a ‘Luthor’,” she begins. “You didn’t shut down. You didn’t turn into a snake. You didn’t even deny it or become defensive. You heard what was said and fired back with the right questions. That seems like a hell of a lot of personal growth to me,” Kara boasts. “If Lillian was testing the waters to see how easily you could be manipulated, she’s got her answer. You’re on solid ground even if you feel like you slipped.”

“Do you really think so?” Lena wondered with a small voice that made Kara want to carry Lena around on her shoulders and throw a damn parade for her.

“I know so,” she answers without hesitation, pushing herself up and leaning towards Lena to give her a kiss on the forehead and then the tip of her nose, drawing a small, but genuine smile. “Do you feel like checking in with Dr Keen? Just to give her a heads up that your stepmonster tried to mess with you?”

Lena appreciates that Kara has no qualms talking about her therapist. That she’s fully accepting of the therapeutic relationship between them and makes it as safe and comfortable to talk about mental health as it is about what they’re having for dinner.

“I’ll text her tonight or call her first thing in the morning,” she readily agrees. 

A shadow falls across the doorway, Alex’s shape partially filling in the space. “Kara? Hey, I hate to interrupt but J’onn’s got some questions I don’t have answers to,” she whispers, careful not to awaken Charlie. 

Lena can see Kara clearly wants to stay with her, but she’s okay. She’s stronger than she knew and she’ll be fine on her own with her girl sleeping soundly beside her. 

“It’s okay. You can go. I’m going to stay right here, though,” Lena answers for her. 

She doesn’t verbalize, but Lena reads the question in Kara’s eyes just the same as if she’d said it. “I’m sure. Go,” she encourages one more time. 

“Okay,” Kara answers quietly, sitting up and moving to the end of the bed. She smiles to herself and gently slips Lena’s shoes off for her, dropping them over the side of the bed, earning a grateful smile. “Proud of you,” she tells Lena once more, crawling partially back up the bed to drop a sweet kiss to Lena’s lips.

“Thank you,” Lena whispers, smiling when Kara nods and drops down and kisses her a little more thoroughly this time before she’s off the bed and out of the room.

* * *

She feels like she might be burning up. Her neck is sweaty. Her chest and back both blanketed in heat. Lena frowns before she’s even fully awake. Why is she so sticky hot?

She goes to take a swipe at what feels like a swimming pool's worth of moisture on her neck and is met with a mass of hair attached to the head of a drooling baby girl that feels roughly the size and weight of her daughter. Ah. That explains why this side is so warm. She can only deduce that the heat pressed against her back is Kara, making _her_ the middle of their sandwich. 

Kara must feel her jostling around enough to wake her. “S’wrong?” she mumbles. 

“You and Charlie are hot sleepers,” Lena answers honestly. 

“Sorry,” Kara leans back to roll away when Lena reaches behind her and hangs on to Kara’s shirt to prevent such a thing from happening. 

“Stay.”

“Y’sure?” Kara hesitated moving back into place. 

“Positive.”

Kara delays a moment more before Lena feels an icy gust behind her as Kara blows a frosty breath into the air. Seconds later little droplets of icy water rain down on her skin and it feels glorious if she’s being honest. It feels like it’s over too quickly and she’s about to ask Kara to do it again but Kara’s already sending another blast into the air before sending a less powerful breeze over Lena’s overheated skin and between both measures she’s feeling much cooler seconds later. 

“Better?”

“Yes, thank you,” Lena confirms, content and relaxing again into the solid body behind her. 

She remembers falling asleep with Charlie while Kara spoke with her sister and J’onn. Remembers waking up enough to say yes when Kara asked to carry her back to their bedroom. She recalls being unhelpful when Kara began trading out her clothes for pajamas and then crawling into bed behind her, but she clings to the memory of being pulled so close she was lying more on Kara than the mattress and returning Kara’s affections when she says she loves her and wishes her sweet dreams. 

What she sleeps through is Charlie waking up a few hours later in an unfamiliar room and wandering around until she found her parents. She pushed at Kara’s shoulder, waking her Mama almost immediately. Kara pulled the covers back, reached around to pluck Charlie off the floor and placed her in front of Lena whom she immediately snuggled into and was asleep just as quickly as Kara pulled the bedding back over them.

A couple of hours after Lena falls back to sleep, it’s Charlie’s turn to wake up, ready for the day to start and impatient the sun isn’t quite agreeing with her and neither are her sleeping parents. It doesn’t take long for her to wiggle out of Lena’s arms, slide off the edge of the very tall bed she can’t get up on by herself and go in search of entertainment. Or food. Both, if she’s lucky. 

Luck is on her side when she discovers her Alex saying some words she doesn’t know (but will save for later) in the kitchen in front of what looks to her like a small contraption from Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory. 

“I just want a damn cup of coffee,” Alex mutters, jamming a copper pot somewhere it’s not meant to be before saying a couple more words and giving up. Just as she does, she spots a still fancy, but much easier to navigate compact coffee maker on the opposite counter and lets out a cry of joy. “Hey, Sprout! What are you doing up so early?” She opens her arms and crouches down to accept Charlie’s good morning hug. 

She’s not sure why she’s awake either, except for feeling super charged and excited to start the day so she gives Alex a shrug of her tiny shoulders. 

“Are you hungry?” Alex already knows the answer. Charlie and Kara are always hungry on Earth. Their appetites could almost pass for ‘normal’ on their adopted planet, but storing more energy seems to equal consuming more energy and just Kara’s daily caloric intake easily triples.

Charlie knew she made the right decision to get up. She nods enthusiastically and Alex returns the nod as she turns around to search for both the coffee grounds and something for Charlie to eat. Luck is on her side when she finds everything she needs inside the industrial grade refrigerator. Coffee. Eggs, bread, milk, fruit. Lena requested for her housekeeper to stock the fridge for her before returning home not knowing she’d have two Kryptonian appetites with her. What would usually last Lena one week was suddenly just enough for approximately one meal. 

“How does French toast sound?”

Tiny fists raised in triumph when Charlie cheered for food and Alex didn’t bother trying to shush her. Kara would have a similar reaction soon enough. 

Lena ambles towards consciousness with Kara’s hand under her sleep shirt and spanned across her bare belly, her thumb sweeping to and fro over soft skin. It feels nice. But not as nice as Kara’s usual method of waking her. 

She can hear Alex and Charlie talking and smells breakfast cooking and knows she can’t really be disappointed that Kara’s hand isn’t a little lower but she hasn’t started a day without at least two orgasms and returning the favor for a good eighty percent of the last month and that trend was not one she wanted to give up. 

“I know, baby,” Kara’s whisper across her neck echoes her own thoughts and desires. 

Lena can’t help the frustrated whine building in her throat as she pushes Kara’s hand away and moves off the bed. Her body was reacting to touch and expecting to find a release it wasn’t going to achieve and she felt surprisingly petulant about that. 

_It’s just one morning_ she chides herself, perusing her choices for something to wear for the day from the cavernous walk-in closet. She’s tempted to dress to match her mood, but bypasses her more severe suits in favor of a silky blouse and tailored slacks that were formal enough to look presentable in front of what promised to be a long day of conferencing with her lawyers, but also casual enough to be comfortable moving around with Charlie. 

Her shower is longer than she normally allows and manages to wash away most of the previous afternoon and night and helps to reset her tone for the day. 

She joins the sisters and her daughter at the breakfast bar, pausing to give Charlie half a dozen kisses. She wipes some syrup from her chin and steals a sip of her orange juice along the way. 

The intention was just to have a cup of coffee before she starts making the rounds between lawyers, work updates, therapist sessions and what will always be the highlight of her days, Charlie and Kara. 

There’s a polite refusal on the tip of her tongue when Kara sets a full plate and mug of coffee down in front of her that she forgoes when Kara pointedly hands her a fork with a slight shake of the head warning her not to even try skipping a meal. Self care was always going to be essential for Lena’s stability since she’d neglected herself so often when she was at her lowest. Kara was good at taking care of her and reminding her that her needs were important. Lena mouths a thank you to Kara who just smiles brightly, if not preeningly for her. 

Alex doesn’t miss the interaction nor the way Lena’s head dips to keep herself from smiling too widely at Kara’s unwavering attention and affection. By the dopey grin on Kara’s face she can see it’s something she’s happy to do. 

Jealousy and cynicism crawls it’s way out of her heart and up her neck. She has to look away before she says anything hurtful. 

She opts for informing them she emptied out the fridge making breakfast and offers to have her agents do the grocery shopping but Lena says she’s already placed an order for pickup. Her housekeeper who has been thoroughly vetted by both the DEO and Lena’s security team was scheduled to pick it up by lunchtime because of course Lena is perfect and has already taken care of it. 

“Good,” her head bobs awkwardly. “Great. Glad you’ve got it under control. I’m needed at the DEO, so I guess call me if something comes up,” Alex says as neutrally as possible.

She knows she is unsuccessful in being nonchalant when Kara’s curious gaze finds her even as Lena looks away demurely. She excuses herself before a conversation can start and gathers her things from the guest room. 

“That was weird, right?” Kara quietly asks Lena. She knows she has trouble picking up social cues and subtleties, but Alex wasn’t exactly being discreet about her displeasure. At what, Kara didn’t know. 

“That’s my fault, I’m afraid,” Lena fills in the blanks. “Alex is used to being in charge and of taking care of you. I’m trespassing on her territory.” At Kara’s confused expression, she elaborates. “The groceries. You and Charlie being here with me instead of with her...”

Kara folds her arms across her chest, her brow furrowing deeply as she looks towards the guest room. The light chewing Kara’s doing on the inside of her cheek tells Lena she’s contemplating talking to Alex, but not sure how to approach it or what she would even say. She’s standing close enough to where Lena is sitting on a tall bar chair that Lena can reach out and touch her. She does so, touching the tip of her finger behind Kara’s ear before dragging it down the side of her neck to get her attention. 

Kara’s expression softens when her head turns to look at Lena. 

“Give her a chance to process. Change can feel like an attack when you’re not expecting it,” comes the sage advice. 

Kara lets it sink in before nodding in agreement. There's a playful quirk to her lips. “Hmm wise you are,” she delivers in her very best Yoda voice. 

Lena can’t stop the grin that erupts nor the fond shake of her head. “Lots and lots of therapy is finally paying off.”

She quickly schools her expression when she hears Alex’s footsteps drawing closer. The last thing she needs is Alex thinking she’s enjoying her discomfort. She knows the conversation isn’t over - just paused for now.

Kara’s smile remains in place and she directs it at her sister, opening her arms wide and hugging her tight when Alex consents to it. “Thank you for breakfast, and for being by my side not just last night, but always.” She doesn’t let her go. It takes a few long seconds before Alex gives up the rigidity in her shoulders and spine and hugs Kara in return. 

Lena turns her attention to Charlie, trying to give Kara and Alex a bit of privacy in what’s obviously a tender moment between them. They quietly chat about Stew and her new favorite perch to survey her kingdom from. Lena’s not even sure how Stew managed to figure out how to get to the small ledge above the tasteful cabinet housing the flatscreen on the wall, but she imagines it involves a lot of climbing and claws being sunk into surfaces that will require repair at some point. 

Alex breaks away, eyes suspiciously glassy when she ruffles Charlie’s hair and gives her a kiss on her way out. There’s even a quick clap on Lena’s shoulder that speaks louder than words that she’s trying. 

Kara and Lena exchange hopeful glances at each other. They knew Alex was going to be a hard road, but appreciate any forward momentum they can get.

* * *

A messenger delivers a laptop shortly after breakfast with a vpn for Lena to login to her law firm's server to review the access log to her account and the files associated with it. Kara was pretty impressed with the way Lena succinctly requested the access that she no doubt could easily gain without their permission and just prove that their systems could be infiltrated as easily as their staff. As if sensing that themselves, they compromised on having Lena do it from their own network and computer to maintain some semblance of competency. 

There was a lengthy non disclosure they made Lena sign strictly limiting her audit to her accounts only which was fine with Lena. She was only interested in _her_ account. 

Lena ignores her office in favor of camping out on the couch a few feet away from where Kara and Charlie are practicing printing letters and numbers in both English and Kryptonese. She’s vaguely aware that Kara took her picture with her phone and she eventually pauses to find out what she’s doing. 

Kara observes Lena’s fingers dancing masterfully over the keyboard much like a musician with an instrument. This is when she spots the glaring similarity between mother and daughter. 

Charlie looks every bit intense and focused on her task as Lena. From the slight squint of their eyes to the determined line of their mouth and the top lips that are turned down at the corners, right down to the same tilt of their head at the same angle. It’s bizarrely like watching four year old Lena and present age Lena meet in some trick of overlapping timelines. 

Kara immediately decides that the photos she just took of Lena and Charlie would not only be added to their family media album, but she was going to have them printed, framed and placed on Lena’s desk at work. And home. And her own desk at home. She signs in to a picture website that she’s used in the past and is completing her order a few minutes later when Lena catches her.

“Are you up to something?” Lena wonders, fingers poised over the keyboard, eyebrows quirked in suspicion. 

“What? Me? Nothing! I mean, no,” Kara answers quickly and oddly a bit squeakily. A little too quickly, confirming she was in fact up to something. Lena’s eyes narrow shrewdly.

“Kara.” 

“Lena.” 

“Charlie?” Charlie points to herself and looks at her moms like they might be a little nuts. Did they forget each other’s names? How sad. They’re not even that old. Adults are weird. Is that jam on Stew’s ear? 

“Charlie! Don’t lick the cat!” Kara sticks her fingers in her mouth to remove any fur that might be in there while Lena laughs quietly from her spot on the couch. 

“Strawberry!” Charlie confirms once her mouth is no longer full of fingers. 

“She is definitely your child,” Lena celebrates her good fortune of having two larger than life personalities guiding her heart. 

“Funny you should say that,” Kara gracelessly wobbles over on her knees with her phone in her hands. She flips it sideways and pulls up the last picture capturing the perfect moment with both Lena and Charlie engaged in mirroring behaviour. She smiles at what she immediately sees before she turns the phone around for Lena’s inspection. 

Lena cradles the device in her hands, examining the photo for several long heartbeats until Kara detects the wobble of a chin, the swelling of emotion in Lena’s eyes. 

Kara removes the computer from Lena’s lap without any protest and Lena leans towards her before she’s fully seated on the couch. She melts into her side even as she keeps looking between the phone and Charlie, who’s quietly gone back to working out how to make a mark similar to the kryptonian symbol in the book in front of her.

Throughout the years Lena naturally wondered if there were recognizable parts of her mother left in her. If someone who knew her mom once upon a time would be able to name a specific trait or look they attributed only to her.

More often than not, she sees Kara’s mannerisms in Charlie and her heart stretches every time to accommodate the latest addition in her capacity to love. It's in the way Charlie brushes her hair behind her ear. She sees it when she taps her toothbrush twice on the sink when she’s done rinsing it, just like Kara. The way she smacks her lips together in between satisfying sips of cocoa? Kara. She knows the little stomp she does when she’s frustrated is all Kara, too. 

She loves every moment she gets to experience those little reveals but it was different when she was holding tangible proof, plain as day, how much of herself was ingrained in Charlie. It was another puzzle piece simply fitting into a space she never dreamt she could possess or desire so fiercely.

Lena is an inventor. She loved making things. She loved the rush that came with an idea. She loved the drive that went into planning. She reveled in rolling up her sleeves and pouring herself into a creation her own two hands bring into existence. She didn’t think anything could match that sense of accomplishment. 

Until now. 

All of that pales when she considers who her DNA combined with Kara’s brought into existence. 

“Charlie?” Kara calls out softly to their daughter. She knows Lena is having a moment and wants to make it as sweet as possible. “Come up here, Little One.”

Charlie is quick to join them, her expression turning to concern when she sees her Mommy looking like she's upset. “Are you sad?” 

Lena shook her head. “I’m very happy.”

Charlie remained unconvinced. Her Mom smiling and crying at the same time is very confusing to her. She reaches out just as she’s seen her Mama do so often and touches the side of Lena’s face. Petting her much the same as she does with Stew.

Kara tugs the waistband on the dinosaur print leggings Charlie’s wearing to fix a twist in the elastic. “Do you remember what happened when we were filling your pool up outside and we forgot we left the water running?”

“We made mud.” Charlie remembers. Greatest day of her life. She got to slop around _and_ take a bath outside. 

“That's right. Because the pool couldn’t hold all the water,” Kara patiently explained. “Jeju’s heart can’t hold all the happy she feels right now, so she’s making mud. She’s okay, kiddo.”

This unsurprisingly makes sense to Charlie who decides to give Lena a hug for good measure. 

“That is the most Kara Danvers thing you’ve ever said,” Lena tells her over the top of Charlie’s head, squeezing her girl tight. 

“Please. I’ve said way more Kara Danvers things than that,” Kara scoffs, softly thumbing the corners of Lena’s eyes where excess mud has gathered.

* * *

_what do you think? Am I fit to be seen in public again?_

Kara left after lunch for a hair appointment. Her favorite hairdresser happily squeezed her in at the last minute because Kara wanted to look polished for court at Lena’s side and boy, should her hairdresser be proud. 

The accompanying selfie is of Kara sitting in a salon chair. She looks like she’s just given her hair a little flip as she stares into the camera (quite inappropriately, Lena feels) with a flirty smile and damnably kissable lips. 

New blonde highlights, a flattering trim and familiar curls have Lena saying some words that sound a lot like what Alex was saying in the kitchen in front of her espresso machine that morning, but anger is not what she’s feeling at the moment. 

**_You are aware we haven’t had sex in over 24 hours, right?_**

It’s ridiculous. They’ve gone days at a time without sex. They were perfectly capable of doing so - but the absence felt different here. More serious because of the new set of circumstances with Kara’s alien biology more pronounced here. 

_vaguely. I mean, it does sound familiar._

The little winking emoji she adds at the end is just criminally unnecessary if you ask Lena.

She watched the text bubble appear again before she can respond to the last one. 

_does this increase my chances of getting to scream your name, or no?_

Her phone nearly becomes airborne out of sheer horny. Kara certainly knows what buttons to push. Well. One button in particular that she’s quite skilled at pushing. 

**_Not helping!_**  
She can practically hear Kara giggling mischievously. 

Her phone chimes with different notification. The elevator is being used. Kara is the only person approved to use the lift without being detained or announced by security so it had better be Kara or whoever steps out of the lift is in for a very naked surprise. 

Lena begins disrobing on her way to the bedroom - mental checklist being ticked off as she goes. 

Daughter napping. Check.  
Review audit results with her lawyers at five. Ready.  
Dinner slow cooking away in three crockpots. Also check. 

There’s a quick swipe of the bottle of perfume on the dresser that gets spritzed against her naked chest for a little extra oomph before the sheets get drawn down and she glides onto the bed, stuffs a couple pillows under her head and waits for approximately one second before becoming impatient and rising to her knees in the middle of the luxurious mattress. 

Kara comes hopping through the doorway a few seconds later, jacket somewhere near the lift doors, sweater and shoes between there and the bedroom and one leg of her jeans tenaciously hanging on, inside out over her foot. 

She freezes when she sees Lena waiting for her and Lena has the satisfaction of watching Kara’s eyes dilate with want. 

Her knees were shoulder width apart and Lena, naked as the day she was born, waited with hands on her hips and her chest visibly rising and falling in rapid and excited succession. 

Like a Siren, she extends her arm, palm up, a slight point at Kara before she crooks her finger. 

As if Kara needs to be beckoned. 

As if she wasn’t already going to use her superspeed to get the rest of her clothes off and join Lena on the bed. 

In a blink of an eye the bedroom doors are shut, her jeans and all underwear are in a heap on the floor and she's centimeters away, mirroring Lena’s position, cupping her face possesively and crashing their lips together. 

Lena’s hands grab anywhere and everywhere, holding on for dear life and clinging to Kara until she can muster up a response. That doesn’t happen until many many breathless and blissful minutes later when she manages to block Kara from going for three. 

“Together,” she declares her terms, using Kara’s momentum against her when she pulls back from kissing Lena to nod her agreement. 

She’s smoothly rolled onto her back and their thighs slot together with practiced ease and Lena swiftly begins moving above her. 

They both naturally worried how compatible they would be sexually on Earth with Kara’s strength overpowering how much she would be able to feel.

It hasn’t been an issue thus far. Or it hasn’t slowed them down any, at least, because she definitely feels what Lena is doing to her - what they’re doing to each other. Even if she has to aid Lena’s movements by pulling her gorgeous body more firmly against her, hands heavy and encouraging on her backside. 

Lena doesn’t mind the extra work that goes into satisfying Kara. Not when one of the most powerful and beautiful beings in the Universe is writhing beneath her, praise and pleas falling from her lips in equal parts. She’s sweet. She's dirty. She’s lewd and poetic and Lena will never tire of hearing her name on Kara’s lips. 

Kara has to fight the urge and instinct to close her legs catastrophically around Lena’s to keep her right where she is as she hurtles towards completion. She instead forces herself to let them fall open and Rao almighty was that the right choice. 

She lets go of Lena’s shapely rump when she reaches maximum intensity and raises her arms above her head, grabbing onto and pulverizing the frame of the headboard. 

Seeing how she made Kara feel and watching her destroy solid hardwood throws Lena into a third and well earned climax. Her arms give out from exertion and bliss and she drops heavily onto Kara who is quick to wrap an arm around her and encourage her head to find its usual home under her chin. 

They’re both fucked out, out of breath and very pleased with their results. 

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“We answered _that_ question.”

“Yeah.”

Lena huffs out an amused breath, her mouth grazing against Kara’s neck when she speaks. “Is that all you’ve got right now, Miss Pulitzer Prize Winner?”

“Yeah.”

Quiet laughter is shared between them and then it’s silent until Kara’s whispering sleepily to her. 

“Knew it would be good here too, Lena. It’s you and me.”

Lena smiles widely and tilts her chin up just enough for her lips to make solid contact with Kara’s neck and presses her lips there. Her eyes close even though she knows she has to get up. Has to be awake for Charlie. Has to be ready to talk to her lawyers again. 

Her body and Kara’s hands, one at the nape of her neck, the other low and at the base of her spine have other ideas for her. _Fifteen minutes_ she strictly allows herself, setting an internal alarm that rarely ever fails.

* * *

Kara is finishing up the dishes while Charlie puts the final touches on her drawing from her spot on the floor near her Mama’s feet. Kara helped her draw a tail earlier on what they were calling her dino-dog, nearly complete with some spots and a spikey ball at the end of his tail. 

“Did you pick out a name for your new pet?” Kara scrubs at the inside of the last crockpot, almost done with her task now.

She can see Charlie thinking hard about her choices. There’s some “hmm”’s, some “umm”’s and finally, “What about Anthony?”

“Anthony is a very good name,” Kara agreed. “We’ll have to find some magnets so we can add it to the fridge.” Their refrigerator at home was littered with Charlie’s artwork, handprints, pictures, postcards - there were no bare spots on it. Their fridge here was completely unadorned. For the moment. 

She hears the door to Lena’s office open and the sound of two sets of footsteps. Hands submerged in dishwater, Kara looks over her shoulder to see Lena’s therapist making her way to the elevator. 

“Goodnight, Dr Keen. Thank you for coming over,” she calls out. 

“Bye bye,” Charlie chimes in. 

Dr Keen gives them both an easy smile, bidding them goodnight. The elevator doors slide shut a little later and then it’s just the three of them once more. 

They felt very fortunate that Lena’s therapist was able to schedule an after hours appointment for Lena. They’d barely finished with the lawyers when the doctor arrived and they sequestered themselves in Lena’s office with the door closed. 

Kara was glad that Lena was taking a time out to check in with her. She worried about how much Lena was doing since they’d been back. It was different from when they were best friends and she knew Lena was putting in twelve to fourteen hour workdays quite frequently. Different because of who and what they were to each other now. Different because while Kara was worried about her friend before, she is fiercely protective of Lena and their committed relationship now. She doesn’t take it lightly. She knows it’s the same for Lena. 

A warm weight rests against her back, arms loop lazily around her waist and a head drops to her shoulder. Lena exhales in relief that the day is over and she can just.. be for the rest of the night. 

“Hi.”

“Hello,” Lena returns, equally soft. 

“She seems really nice,” Kara comments. “But also like she wouldn’t hesitate to call you out on something,” she tacks on. 

“That is exactly how she is and why I chose her,” Lena admits. 

_Because you’re still looking for a mother figure_ , Kara thinks but doesn’t say just yet. She just turns in Lena’s loose hold and lets her stay pressed against her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder with casual affection and finds Lena’s hand near her waist and tangles their fingers together. 

It’s exactly what Lena needs. She couldn’t do deep and intense contact right now. Not when her brain feels a bit like a pie someone’s just poked their fingers into. 

“Anything you want to talk about?”

“No,” Lena answers honestly. “I’m just getting settled again.”

There’s a quiet acknowledgement from Kara that that’s okay. Lena knows she can take all the time she needs, go directly to Kara if something’s bothering her, or just be held without questions. She couldn’t get the words out fast enough to tell Dr Keen what Kara’s love, trust and support means to her. 

The doctor was quick to smile and tell her how lovely that was, but that she should also recognize and celebrate everything she’s done preKara. Lena happily informs her that Kara tells her the exact same thing all the time and that she’s not making Kara responsible for whether or not she’s happy. She can be by herself. She can do it alone. She’s just very happy sharing her life with Kara and Charlie. 

Dr Keen was mostly caught up with the changes in Lena’s day to day life over the last couple of months thanks to frequent communication via email and a couple of video messages, so Lena was able to fill her in on Lillian’s disastrous visit fairly quickly. 

_“I can see where that would be upsetting for you and create some very real feelings of self doubt. It sounds like you came to the logical conclusion that she wasn’t sincere or honest with her words. How do you think you would have reacted if she said those things to you a year ago?”_

_Lena is quiet while she gathers her thoughts, but confident in what she tells Dr Keen._

_“I would have believed her. I would have believed any bad thing she said about me because of how I felt about myself. I hated myself. I hated being sick and the absolute certainty that I couldn’t trust anyone. I hate now that I wasn’t able to put a name or an explanation to what I felt all the time.”_

_“What’s changed? Beyond the very important step you took in choosing therapy and medication, what’s changed?”_

_“Me.”_

* * *

The next two days pass by in a whirlwind of activity with basically the same pattern. They wake up and cook together. Lena spends a couple of hours getting caught up on work emails and then talks to her lawyers. She rarely takes calls in her office, opting to be nearby and involved in whatever adventures Charlie and Kara are getting into. They have lunch together. J’onn joins them one afternoon and catches them up on the pulse of the alien community in National City and beyond. Brainy and Nia join them the next afternoon and after some awkward silence, Brainy takes the lead and apologizes to both Lena and Kara. 

“Of course there were stories and beliefs in the future about Charlie and her parentage. I believe I could have saved us all a great deal of pain if I’d simply told you what was known. For that, I am deeply sorry. Though knowing too much about one's future can drastically alter the timeline, I believe this is one circumstance where that rule could have been broken.”

Kara looks stricken while Lena takes and holds her hand between her own. “I’m certain I wouldn’t have believed you if you said something sooner. I would have thought it was a trick. It probably would have made things worse, to be honest. I had to find the information and confirm it on my own. Everything that occurred had to happen in its own time.”

“While we’re confessing..” Nia begins, her face an exact copy of a grimacing emoji. “There were visions I didn’t know how to interpret at the time. I just thought my own emotions were throwing me curveballs because Brainy and I were trying to figure things out and that was not easy. They still don’t make sense to me, but I’m not the one they have to make sense to, right?”

Lena and Kara exchanged glances, silently communicating whether they wanted to question what those visions contained. 

“We don’t need to know,” Kara answered for them. “Lena’s right. Everything that happened had its own reason and time and we’re building our future together now. We can’t fix the past. We don’t need to.”

It’s Brainy and Nia’s turn to communicate silently now. They were happy about the shape their future was in. It wasn’t without its bumps and bruises, but Kara and Lena were right that the journey needed to unfold on its own without interference. 

“You’ve got your own column now, Nia! I’ve been keeping up with it. It’s so good!” Kara smoothly moves them away from their previous topic. 

Two years into being the fashion guru for National City and Nia is still giddy over it. “Thank you!! I can’t tell you how rough it is to have all the local and upcoming designers on speed dial. They’re always trying to get me to wear one thing or another from them,” she brags, trying to tame her absolute excitement into something resembling boredom. 

“You poor dear. What a terrible burden that must be,” Kara teases.

“Haters gonna hate,” Nia retaliates. “We’re actually stopping by Cassie’s Castle after lunch,” she casually name drops.

The name means nothing to Kara, but Lena’s interest is suddenly piqued. “The lingerie designer? Are you getting a sneak peek at her fall line?” 

“Yes, and yes!” Nia looks coyly at Lena. “Did we just become best friends?”

Lena smiles warmly at Nia. Reintegrating with the Super Friends has gone far smoother than she dared hope for. She doesn’t think they’ve automatically forgotten what happened, but she’s been more welcomed than shunned. 

Kara takes note of Brainy’s odder than usual behaviour. She thinks he might have stuffed an entire bread roll in his mouth when Lena and Nia started talking more about lingerie and which pieces they had and what they loved most about them. 

“Brainy? You okay there, buddy?”

Cheeks expanded with food, Brainy looks around nervously as he tries to chew. 

Nia not so subtly pats the inside of his thigh. “He’s fine. He’s just a very big fan of the lingerie. Very. Big,” she specifies. 

Lena presses her lips together and stares at her salad. 

Kara’s not sure how to respond. Part of her wants to bail her friend out. The other part of her is a little disgruntled she hasn’t seen Lena in anything racier than designer undies and contoured satiny or lace bras. Not that Lena needs anything more to work Kara up to a frenzied level of lust, but she still wouldn’t mind seeing her gorgeous body encased in something equally beautiful, if she’s to believe Nia and Lena’s design praise.

Brainy chews faster, reaching for another roll. Kara rescues him, covering his hand. “It’s okay. We’re going to talk about something else now. Right, ladies?” She stares pointedly at the new partners in crime. 

Nia grins salaciously at Brainy and scoots her chair closer to him, pushing an arm behind him and curling into his side. 

Kara can’t help noticing and smiling at his Legion ring in its usual spot on his right hand, and the traditional gold band proudly displayed on his left hand when he puts his arm around his wife. 

“So Eliza is on her way?” Nia segues. 

Kara nods excitedly. Eliza might be staying with them under unpleasant circumstances to be with Charlie during the day while they had court, but they also haven’t seen her in close to six months and they were long overdue for her hugs. “She should be here in a couple of hours,” she confirms. 

“And she’s staying here with you ladies?”

“Yes. We discussed a hotel or staying with Alex, but it just makes so much more sense for her to be here and not have to deal with the security downstairs all the time,” Lena answered. 

It was a new feeling for her. The feeling of opening up her home to Kara’s Earth Mom. She and Jack spent a lot of time at each other’s places, but they never lived together and his parents always stayed at a luxury resort whenever they came to visit him. That’s as close as she’d ever been to a situation like this. 

She never even flinched when they started talking about the logistics with Eliza. She was Kara and Charlie’s family. Why _wouldn’t_ she stay with them. She rather enjoyed setting up the bedroom for her. A beautiful bouquet of Eliza’s favorite wildflowers was delivered that morning and placed with care on the dresser for her. 

“Those are beautiful. She’s going to love them,” Kara smiled, slipping an arm around Lena’s shoulders from behind as they both admired how colorful and cheery they made the room feel. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”

Lena gave a slight roll of her shoulder, settling into the warm body behind her. “I wanted to.”

Charlie was showing off her identification skills, correctly naming some, and making up her own names for the ones she didn’t know. So far there were three mystery blooms now called Dave. “What’s this one?” She pointed to large orange petals. 

“Asiatic Lily,” Lena supplies. 

“That’s the most pretty,” Charlie decided. 

“Is that your favorite?”

Charlie points to some purple larkspur. “No. This Dave is my favorite.”

“Ah,” Kara nods her head sagely. “Should have known you’d go for the purple.” 

They were trying to have a low-key day together before court the following day. Lena couldn’t help the feelings of dread and anxiety roiling through her. It felt like something big and bad was pacing just outside their walls of safety. Waiting for the chance to pounce. Pushing to create an opening. 

She took as much comfort as she could in Kara’s assurance that what she was feeling was normal. That they were as prepared as they could be. That whatever they faced, they faced it together and would always persevere. 

Besides the Cadmus agent within her law firm and Lillian’s visit, everything was surprisingly quiet. They were even able to confirm Lena’s account hadn’t been breached. It was attempted regularly. That was to be expected given who she was and what kind of tech she was developing, but they couldn’t trace it back directly to Cadmus or her competitors. 

She added an extra level of protection to her account while she was going through it with a constantly learning and changing virus that not only protected her files, but latched on to whoever was trying to hack them and attacked their servers. 

Things were going well. That’s why she wasn’t the least bit surprised to get Alex’s call that afternoon. 

Her measured tone over the phone and expressionless delivery gave Kara and Lena all the info they needed to know something major had happened, or was about to.

“J’onn and M’gann are on their way to bring you in. Charlie and Mom need to come with you. I want you all here.”

“What’s going on? What’s happened?” Kara questioned. 

“Eve was found dead in her cell less than an hour ago.” She pauses when she hears Lena’s reaction of a gasp and Kara’s expletive. “There’s more. That’s why you have to be here.”

Lena was reeling. What could possibly be worse than Eve Teschmacher dying on the eve of their big day in court?

“We’ll see you soon,” Kara answers determinedly. 

“Be safe.”

A half hour later they’re standing in one of the conference rooms with the windows blacked out so no one can see in and the door shut. Alex’s body language is setting off all the sirens and whistles that something is desperately wrong and Kara wastes no time in gripping her by the shoulders. “Tell us.”

“We’ve been tracking Lillian since she left your building,” she begins. It’s of no surprise to Kara or Lena. “We’ve been using the security cameras on the buildings around Lillian’s office and residence to keep tabs on her. Shortly before we received word about Eve, we captured this.”

Alex nods to Brainy and footage appears on the screen behind them. It’s not the greatest, but Lena recognizes the entrance to the regal looking building where Lillian lives. A sleek black Mercedes van comes to a stop near the entrance and two bulky looking bodyguards exit the vehicle first, appearing to look casual as they survey the full radius of the area around them. 

Another figure exits the vehicle. 

Average height. (He’d always hated any description identifying him as ‘average’ anything. He was far superior than the vertical inches he possessed.) 

Average build. 

Well dressed. 

They haven’t seen a face yet. The camera angle only shows up to their shoulders thanks to the canopy stretching from the front of the entrance and over the sidewalk.

Lena feels her heart racing even as she leans closer to the screen. _No no no no no_ repeats through her skull. She’s aware Kara is stock still beside her. 

She recoils when the figure shrugs his suit jacket into the correct position and then tugs at his cuffs in familiar succession to adjust his shirt as well.

The figure and his goons disappear through the door.

“Lex.” It’s easy to identify the sense of dread she’s been feeling now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout for anyone that’s feeling bluer than expected over the news SG is ending with S6. Don’t be afraid to reach out to your loved ones for some extra love. I’m always available for anyone that needs a kind ear or sturdy shoulder. Drop me a note here, or on tumblr or twitter. (It’s @cursedestlin on all three apps)  
> No matter how it ends, SuperCorp is full of the most beautiful stories, artwork, videos, gifs and anything else you can think of that celebrates and respects these two powerful ladies. Nothing can take that away.


End file.
